Saturday, May 3, 2008

Nathan Gerbe and I are now Frenemies

by Anne

Dear Dallas:

NOT. COOL.

Love,
Anne



Private to Brenden Morrow:

You basically had a natural hat trick last night. Unfortunately, only 1 of them counted. Please review how to cleanly and legally put the puck in the net.

Love,
Anne



Private to Nate Gerbe:

Thanks for rejecting my Facebook friend request. There's no way you could even know about this psychotic blog, so its either that you think I'm just a rabid Sabres fan OR you have this bizarre practice of not friending people you don't actually know. Whatev. You're dead to me. STAY IN BC FOR ALL I CARE!

No! Gerb-man, I don't really mean it, please come to Buffalo ASAP but don't reject my love when I stalk you downtown. Thanks.

Love,
Anne



Private to Pat Kane:

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Love,
Anne



Dear Team USA Powerplay:


WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Love,
Anne



Dear Team USA Even Strength:

Yyyyyyeah, uhhhhh could you try that again? I mean excellent work on getting the powerplays, but even strength goals are just as sexy, if not sexier.

Love,
Anne



Private to Tim Tom:

I'm glad you're as focused on your age and deep forehead lines as I am.

Love,
Anne

7 comments:

  1. Goodness! How can Gerbs reject your friend request when he's friends with like 40 people in the BU network? This is most unjust.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Anne:

    Awesome letters...Especially to Dallas - Letting Soupy score like that is NOT COOL indeed!!

    You're right, even-strength goals are very sexy - they are like the Goose or Ry-Ry of goals.

    And I have now requested to be Facebook friends with both Gerber-ama and Tim Kennedy (I'm procrastinating on my final papers)...We'll see if Kennedy is any more generous than his future teammate with his acceptances!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Gerbs hates you! What the hell?

    No, he loves you. I don't accept people I know either. haha He must have heard about all these stalkers in WNY lately offering candy and car rides to small children. I feel it though, he likes you. I looked for Gerbe then I stopped. I don't know, I didn't want it to be the wrong Gerbe, or the poser Gerbs.

    ReplyDelete
  4. *Correction: People I don't know..

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dear Pens:

    Yay!!! Can't wait to see you give Danny his third EC Finals loss in a row!!

    Love and snuggles,
    Katie

    PS: Gerberama actually friended me back! I do not know what strange power I have over him, but I promise to use the powers of Facebook to bring him to the dark side...or Buffalo (same difference, right? haha)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wouldn't it be so strange if he (or any of the Sabres) actually knew about this blog?

    ReplyDelete
  7. If any of the Sabres knew about this blog, I'm not sure how I'd feel. I wouldn't change anything about the way I write it, cuz its my blog, but I'd definitely think about it while I was posting it. And then leave my phone number for any player that may want it. WOO!

    ReplyDelete

Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


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