It's Really Over This Time

by Anne

Pens lost.


Boo.


Silver lining! Silver lining!

I'm glad it was the Red Wings and not, say, the Sharks or the Ducks, or good GOD, the Rangers or the Flyers. The Pens are the only team in the East that could've made that an exciting series, and they did. I hope that they're not feeling down about themselves. While I'm sure they're disappointed (duh), they put up a hell of a fight, and made the Red Wings work for it.

Oh well. RIP Ryan Whitney's POB 2008. How I loved thee.


More silver lining, from a Sabres' perspective:

Since the moment I saw that there is a Draft Day Party at HSBC Arena and decided to drag the young cousins and the Mom along, I've been feeling surprisingly chipper about our boys in blue and gold. It just served as a reminder that they're still here, and they really will be back next season. During the 9 WEEKS of the playoffs, it felt like I'd never see Derek Roy's shining face again. Since the Worlds ended I feel like Drew Stafford no longer exists. Pommer? Did you visit Mama Pup in Quebec? GOOSE! How's the hernia? Yoyo? The wrist? Ok? TEPPO!!! HOW IS YOUR HEART? MY HEART'S HEALTH IS SURPRISINGLY AKIN TO YOUR OWN. Timmy? Boned anyone worth mentioning lately? Petey! How are the wedding plans going? Britney! What have you had gold-plated recently?We all know how Millsey is, he tells is in is B-L-O-G. How kind of him. If he could only update us on the rest of his Sabre brethren, I'll be eternally grateful.

Anyone else going to the Draft Day Party? We should meet up and laugh at the players we mock/love so dearly. Now we find ourselves in the throes of the off-season. Just take a few deep breaths, it'll all be ok.

We all know Tri ain't comin' back, and Max might be on the trade block. Now in the clear light of the off-season, who do you think is gonna get the axe? I mean, if we all want Nathan Gerbe in the blue and gold come October, someone is, or a few someones are going to have to get their walking papers. Mike Ryan? (Sorry M.J.) Pie-YAY? (I think I'll die) Max? (WOO!).


Hope springs eternal for the Sabres fan.


Vote in our Klassy weekly poll, peeps!

GAME 5 REALLY DID END!

by Anne

At least I don't have a big-girl job anymore, so staying up all the way for the end of the game wasn't such a big deal.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

MAXIME TALBOT AND PETR SYKORA!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!

Sykkie declared he'd score the game winner and he DID. Hahahahahahaha.

Playing with nothing to lose looks good on most teams (See: Last game of the season, 2008, Buffalo Sabres).

Sigh.

Next game Wednesday, 8:00 in the Igloo.

It's happened before:

Let's go Pens! Let's go Sid! Let's all stop talking about how Geno can't hit the broadside of a barn! Woo!

Yay!

OMG Heart Attack

by Anne

I just realized that this might be (read: definitely is) the last night of the 2007-2008 hockey season. This most dreaded of all times comes every season, yet every season it catches we hockey fans by total shock and surprise.

What in God's name do we do when there's no hockey? I imagine not update this thing as often.

Play a lot of stupid computer games? Go for lengthy walks? Talk to the friends and family that don't watch hockey, whom we neglect during the season? Do things other than watch sporting events on TV?

I should've waited to move until AFTER hockey season, that way it would've given me something to think about.

Oscar is utterly devastated by the impending death of the 2008 playoffs.

He can't even lift his head

I just don't know what to do...

The Tampa Bay Rays beat the White Sox again. Still #1 in the AL... only behind the Cubs for the top record in Major League Baseball.

Still don't really care that much.

I moved on Saturday. I don't think Oscar has sat down longer than 3 minutes the entire time we've been here. There's just so much to explore. He makes me nervous because when things are new he doesn't eat on a regular basis. He'll eat when he's hungry, I know. Lord knows he won't starve. Haha. He's never been in a house where there are windows on the street and he's totally fascinated/kind of freaked out by cars when they drive by. He doesn't deal well with noises. He climbed up the screen on our screen door. That was pretty entertaining. Other than that, he's pretty chill. He did pass out next to me last night as I was writing this, so I suppose that's a good sign.

I suppose I'll have to go with the original plan of obsessively following signings, non-signings, trades and drafts by Ye Olde Buffaloe Sabrese this summer. Boo.

I suppose I could organize my belongings into their new homes. Although, it won't take me THAT long to figure out where to hang my standings tracker or if I should put my bookshelf or my chest of drawers next to the window.

Boooooooo. The end of the playoffs STINKS. Ok, well, it only STINKS if the team you're rooting for is losing. Last season I temporarily fell in love with the Ducks, but that fling was shortlived as the only reason I was cheering for them was because they were playing the Senators, and, I was really cheering AGAINST the Senators more than I was cheering FOR the Ducks. Sigh.

Ryan Whitney's Playoff Beard is Crying

by Anne

It's chestnut, it's auburn, it's red, its blonde. Ryan Whitney's playoff beard has the makings of one of the greats. This is the first time we've gotten to see it go the distance. I'd like to see it come back again. However, not at the expense of the Sabres. Never. Although... if he became a Sabre....

Whatev. They gave it a good go. It's not over yet... buuuuuut.....yyyyeeeahhh.....

Onto my new love: totally obscure baseball teams whose successes and failures have no bearing on my well-being.

Tampa Bay won 2-0 today. Woo. Suck on THAT, White Sox.

Scott Kazmir set a club record with his 5th win in the month of May. His ERA is now 1.22 which was described in one article as "astonishing".

Here's what I've learned: I know "wins" are "good" and a record number of "wins" means you play "well" so, since his ERA of 1.22 was mentioned in the same breath as "record" and "wins" and not as in "in spite of his 1.22 ERA", this leads me to believe a low ERA is "good" and that 1.22 is "low". I'm a genius. They have one pitcher with a 6.14 ERA, I'm guessing that's "bad".

They are STILL atop the AL East, 1 game ahead of Boston and now 6 games ahead of the Yankees who've moved from 5th to 4th.

I found a site that explains baseball abbreviations. For example "SO" does not mean "Shut Out" it means "STRIKE out" and "TP" means "Triple Plays" not "Toilet Paper". Look out, baseball world! Soon I will have a vague pedestrian understanding of the way you list your statistics! Then I shall be unstoppable!!! Muahahahahhahah!!!

First Stephanie from Top Chef, now the Rays. Looks like things I choose to throw my support behind for no good reason tend to excel. I should move away from Buffalo and pretend I've never heard of hockey, and start supporting the Sabres, maybe that'll help.

Back to hockey, briefly:

I realized last night that I'm secretly glad that the Penguins are losing.

Ok, ok, hear me out, PensNation.

For me, their downward slide is more annoying than catastrophically painful. It doesn't carry the same gut-wrenching agony that a Sabres loss provides. Therefore, it merely serves as a somewhat unpleasant reminder of where my heart truly belongs.

So, Sidney, while I'm sorry you more than likely will not be hoisting that Cup later this week, I'm not sorry that you've help to set me back on track earlier rather than later. Sorry, Sid! You'll get there someday, I'm sure of it. Love ya!

Happy Memorial Day!

by Anne

Happy Memorial Day, everyone!

I have nothing to say about hockey, the Sabres or anything like that.

Enjoy the day, it's a little overcast in Buffalo. Yesterday was gorgeous, too bad it couldn't have been like that today. Oh well!

Game 2 is tonight. 8 p.m. at the Joe.

I don't think the Pens need my encouragement, I don't think they've given up at all. It ain't over til that cup is hoisted.

I think the reason I won't be upset if the Pens don't win this is because I think they'll just be back here again next year. They don't feel like a fluke team like so many are these days. They feel like a dynasty team like (I'm sorry) the Oilers in the 80s with Gretzky or the Islanders in the 70s and 80s with Potvin. If they don't win this thing this year, I feel pretty confident they'll get another crack at it next year or the year after.

I've been watching a lot of Sid vids to get myself to love him. It seems to be working just fine and then I watch an interview with him now and that hair and the lips with the mustache, it's just all so wrong in so many, many ways.

---

Private to Sidney Crosby:

Ok, so I realized something that would either make me loving you amazing or just cruel. If we ever had children, they'd have the biggest white people booties known to man kind. Here, photographic evidence:

Video footage of Sidney's booty:

Our children's booties and overall lower body musculature would be EPIC. Should we make this happen? Win this thing and then we'll talk

Love,

Anne

Uhhhhhhh

by Anne

Red Wings 4 - Penguins 0, Detroit leads series 1-0.

Yuck.

So after 2 periods of some pretty excellent defensive play, we were finally treated to that offensive bonanza we had been promised for so many days. However, the only team "bonanza-ing" was the Detroit Red Wings. The Pens just seemed stunned. Grrrrrrreeeaaaaat. Getting shut out is not cool. Not cool at all. We're gonna chalk it up to nerves and an unfamiliar building and call it a day. A very frustrating, painful, irritating day.

But! We don't give up! We soldier on! Monday night they have a chance to redeem themselves. I don't care how many stats they pull out about the winning of the first game stats. They aren't out of this thing yet. Not by a longshot. As The Pensblog pointed out, if you picked the Pens to win in more than 4 games, they're gonna have to lose a couple along the way. It's ok. Don't worry.

---

Private to Marc-Andre Fleury:

Flower, you're still ok in my book. People will mock you for face planting whilst entering the ice for the game, I personally appreciated the humor of the moment. I was probably the only one that wasn't a Red Wings fan who enjoyed it.

Please try to stay on your feet more often, and keep your mask on.

Love,
Anne

---

Private to Sidney Crosby:

Your long curly locks, creepy facial hair and awkwardly tan Miami Vice-style suit should have repulsed me. However, for some reason, they endeared you to me. I still don't love you, but the fact that I can overlook your obvious poor grooming choices at the age of 20, means we're on the road towards real HockeyLove. Now, if you could please score some of those goals you're so DREADFULLY fond of, I'd appreciate it. Hey, I'm not picky, you can set up Hossa or Dupuis. You can even set up Gonch or Bugsy or Geno on the PP if you want to get fancy. My love has put the Tampa Bay Rays at the top of their division, I think it can do the same for you.

Did Steve Yzerman make you nervous? Was it Unkie Mario? It's ok, Sid. You'll pull it together. Let's be honest, if anyone can, you can.

Love,
Anne

---

Private to the Tampa Bay Rays:

I picked you as my baseball team over Easter weekend when it was made apparent that there was no hockey played over the summer; a fact I forget every April. I picked you because I liked your logo and, as MK put it "This team sounds like a bunch of dirty crooks." Multiple bench clearing brawls? Domestic battery charges? This sounds like my kind of team. That, and they suck.

You're only 1/2 game behind Boston for the AL East lead. The same division that now sees the monster Yankees in 5th.

I'm taking all credit for your successes. My love can move mountains. All I really wanted was your first winning season it team history, and you've taken my request and just run with it. Thanks. That's very sweet of you. I still can't name a single one of your players. I'll work on that. Maybe Vinny and I can go to one of your games and laugh about how if a team as bad as the Rays can turn it around, surely the Lightning can do the same next season. We'll share a soft pretzel and start the wave. It'll be sublime.

Love,
Anne

FINALLY FINAL FINALS

by Anne


Thank God.

There's a tiny part of me that wishes, just for these finals, that we had moved back to Pittsburgh when my Dad finished law school (29 years ago) and I was a die-hard Pens fan. As it stands, I'm just a regular old hockey fan from Buffalo. If you've met me, you know that when I care about something, I throw all I've got behind it. Let's Go PENS!!!

I'd really like to tag Sid onto the end of that one in 2 weeks.


Game 1 in Detroit. Tonight. 8 p.m. CBC and Versus. DON'T MISS IT. I'm excited and anxious. This would be a thousand times more intense if it were the Sabres. I'd have the most awful hockey ulcer in the history of hockeykind. As it stands, it's nagging a little right now and it's not even 9:00 a.m. When that puck drops, I anticipate it to be making its presence known to all around.

LET'S GO PENS!

OMGAH WHAT IS HAPPENING

by Anne


Ok so the last few days have been a real taste of what this offseason is going to be like.

To be totally honest, I have absolutely nothing hockey or Sabres related to talk about.

The only thing that comes close is that I was in Barnes and Noble yesterday and found that book that woman wrote about Sid the Kid's first season "Now with highlights from his MVP Sophomore season!" Which is once again out of date. I opted not to buy it. Why? Because I watched both of those seasons, I've seen him interviewed a billion times. That book might make me love Sid, and I'm just not prepared to do that. I'm content with admiring him and holding him at arms length. It works for our tumultuous relationship. I mean, how can I really love someone who abandons me mid-season with a high ankle sprain and then has people wondering if the Pens are better without him? Of course, the conclusion was that, of course they're not better, he's Sidney Crosby. But that taunting mistress, his right ankle decided to test Pittsburgh, nay, all of hockey fandom with that taudry sprain. They were running amok in the Pittsburgh Penguins dressing room this season. Phooey I say, phooey.


Go Pens. Woo. Hoo.

Even Oscar is not amused by this lack of hockey:

He hasn't been able to do any of his celebratory dances. He has one for when the Sabres win and one for when Thomas "SabreBritney" Vanek scores, it is the kitty version of the dance I do. Like mother, like son. Seeing as Danny Pie-YAY is his favorite, next season we will develop a Danny Pie-YAY dance.

OH GOD WHY DID I WATCH THIS VIDEO. I WAS MIDPOST AND DECIDED TO FIND A PENGUINS VIDEO AND I FOUND THIS ONE. GAH!

JUST WATCH UNTIL HE ASKS HIM ABOUT THE PLAYOFFS.

IT WAS 2006 TOO! IT WASN'T EVEN LAST SEASON.

CURSES!!

HE WENT TO HIS PROM!

STOP SID! STOP!!! Don't do this to me!!!

This doesn't mean I love him, but it's closer.


Sigh.

Go Pens Go!

Aaaaaaaaaaand....?

by Anne

So the finals have been set:

Scandanavia Red Wings v. Pittsburgh McSexyTimes

Awesome. There is little doubt as to which team Sabretooth's House is throwing its full support behind:

Hey there baby, is it me?

Uhhhh, no, Sid, it's not...well, I mean, yes, it is your team, I mean you are captain, but, uhhh. Boy, this is kind of awkward...ummm, anyway:


Ahhh, THAT's more like it


Old Skool...aka last season

Woooooooooooo!!!! Wow, I have like nothing else to talk about.

No more World Championships, it's all about the Cup Finals and whatever random Sabres crap I can come up with.

Now we wait for the Finals to start!!!!


GO PENS GO!!!!

In Sabres news, I saw Petey at Wegman's yesterday. I've met and talked to Andrew Peters a few times before so it wasn't as exciting as it could've been. But whatevs. He buzzed all of his hair off. If I was a dude I would probably do the same, much less maintenance and prep time in the morning. However, I like my Peteys with more hair on their heads. Alas. Petey was lovin' up prepared foods as most Sabres do, it seems.


Everyone's been talking about the evolution of their tastes as a Sabres fan by discussing their past favorite Sabres. I can honestly say I can't gauge my fandom by favorite players, only in the last maybe 3 seasons have I been hardcore about it. I'd say my first favorite Sabre was Stu Barnes after Peca was a d-bag in 2001. Then, I had kind of a lull in my hockey fandom, and because the Sabres were sucking out loud. Then they traded away STUUUUuuuuUUUUU. Then, one day in the 03-04 season, that swarthy Mr. Jay McKee caught my eye, albeit not in a crazy "capture my heart" kind of way. It was quite a departure, loving a defenseman, and still is considering my usual favorite player is the nice guy who scores goals and doesn't get into fights very often (Pommer, Pie-YAY!, Big Bear, Yoyo). With the notable exception of Sissy Spacek. And, let's be honest, it's for Goose's charity work and over -all bangability that I love him, not his mad skillz as a hockey player.

So after Mr. McKee, I didn't really have a favorite in the 06-07 season until one Mr. Drew Stafford poked his little way into my heart. But that was a short-lived, immature little fling and he has now been replaced in equal part by Pominville and Paille with Sissy, Big Bear and Yo-yo falling in closely behind.

What's that? You want a picture retrospective? Okay!

Cap'n Stu skates his way to victory... actually the Sabres didn't do a lot of that in his tenture as Captain


JKee!! Lookin' all tough and Sabre-y.
Look at BabySoupy behind him, tee hee hee



Really? Her? How many margaritas did I have?



Ahhhh, that's better
Pommer's #2 goal at the moment: get the puck, #1: get away before Avery gets up. Dang! Why do our names have to be on the backs of our sweaters?!



Huh?
Pie-YAY!

So those are my favorites in a nutshell. I know, I quite obviously left off Pat Lafontaine, but his rank as all time favorite need not be spoken of. He wasn't a casual fling as most of these gents have been. We're in it for the long haul, Pat and I.

Woo!

Wow, Aww, and WOOOOO!!

by Anne


First things first:


WOW:

I was driving to Cleveland during the Dallas/Detroit game and, wowzas, well done, Dallas Stars. Winning AGAIN, AND limiting Detroit to one goal, yet again. Who'd a thunk it? Detroit is looking less scary monster like in these playoffs than anticipated. They lost 2 to Nashville who everyone assumed they would pulverize, then they SWEPT Colorado whom everyone thought would give them a run for their money, and then the tired, weary Dallas Stars were supposed to be easy for them to take and they've given up 2 games in a row. Wow. Well done Dallas Stars and Marty Turco. I still don't think you're going to pull off the "once every 33 years" schtick, but it'll be nice to see you try, and I'm sure your fans appreciate it.


Next:

Awwwwwww, Canada and Russia met in the IIHF World Championships Gold Medal game yesterday. Russia won Gold in a 5-4 OT finish. Probably a really exciting game, couldn't watch it. :(

Roysie shoots the puck

So Canada takes home silver. But in other news, they moved to the top of the IIHF standings, and the U.S. moved from 7th to 6th, so that's pretty sweet. Yay!! Well done, boys! Now, Roysie, come home to Buffalo and your wacky boat.

And finally:


WOOOOO!!!

PENGUINS WIN THE EASTERN CONFERENCE!!!!!!!!!!!

YAY!

YAY!!

YAY!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!


6-0 BLOWOUT BABY!!


2 GOALS FROM BUGSY! AND ONE FROM STAAL! YAY!!!!!!!


So amazing, so great, so awesome!!!


Yay!!!!


Since I'm tired and don't feel like writing anymore:

Now, for a selection from the 435356 pictures available on the Pens website:

The Latest Addition to the List of Non-Sabres vying for my Heart.
Gronk scored a goal!! Yay!!!



So did my current Atlantic Division Boyfriend!! Twice!



Nothin' but LOVE :)




Ahhhhhhh. Ry-Ry :) Swoon.




Since my blog appears to be a hotbed for shirtless photo searches, I felt the need to throw this on there. Evgeni Malkin shirtless. Woo. Not my personal cup o' tea, but clearly, someone out there is on the lookout. But of all the Pens to see shirtless... Geno? Eh, whatevs.




Awwww. I'm not sure what to caption this picture, but the look on Sid's face makes me giggle, and the angle makes Mario look like 3 feet taller, and, p.s., look at those arms. Woooooo!

Maxime Talbot hugs the REAL heart and soul of ANY team: the mascot.
Talbot knows what's up.

---

Private to Marty Biron:

Sorry, Marty. Love ya!! :(


Love,
Anne

---

Private to Danny Briere:

Maybe next season you'll make it past the Eastern Conference Finals. Third time wasn't a charm. Maybe if it had been the Sabres... whatevs.

Love,
Anne

---

Private to Jordan Staal:

WOOO! Keep it up! You're totally worming your sneaky sod-loving and/or hating way into the part of my heart not reserved for the Buffalo Sabres. WOOHOOO!!!!!!

Love,
Anne

FINE FLYERS, BE THAT WAY

by Anne

Ew, so the Flyers were NOT elimidated last night. They were not Next-ed. They were given a playoff rose and live to woo another day. My new Penguins fixation (Jordan Staal) scored 2 goals! TOO BAD NO ONE ELSE DID. Boy only had 12 goals all season and now he has 5 in the playoffs, cut him a BREAK peeps and give him some SUPPORT! He totes should've been first star. Granted, the first star doesn't generally come from the losing team, but whoever declared the stars after the game last night agreed with me. Get on the BALL, NHL.com! Jordan flew from Philly to Thunder Bay on Tuesday night, attended his grandfather's funeral, a grandfather he was very close to, then turned around and flew BACK to Philly to play a game and then scored 2 goals. I heard a story that his grandfather used to give the boys a dollar for each goal they scored. I bet that 2 dollars probably would've meant more than any six figure contract the Penguins are going to offer him some day. Thanks A LOT, REST OF THE PENGUINS.

He also got pounded into the boards, but Ry-ry totes had his back and beat the crap out of Hatcher (I think?) on his behalf. Good boy, Ry-ry! I suppose I should start calling Ryan Malone "Bugsy" like everyone else does. Eh, I laugh when I call him Ry-ry cuz its what my cousin's baby used to call his uncle.

Whatevs, it's bad to lose a series at home, believe me, I know. They'll get 'em next game.

Here's a picture of Max from the Worlds that I missed in my last post about Team Russia:

Maybe he should do this more often in Buffalo...

There are no NHL playoff games tonight. That's fine, everyone needs a break. Last night's game in Philly was really exciting, one of the most exciting games I've watched in this year's playoffs. Normally when a team is down 3-0, they just roll over and die. Not in the playoffs, and not the Pittsburgh Penguins. It was really amazing to watch a team just fight and scrap the whole game. I love the Penguins.

Katebits mentioned that she could've been a Flyers fan, I easily could've been a Penguins fan as my parents plan is to move back to Pittsburgh after my Dad finishes law school. For those keeping score, Papa Maloy finished law school in 1979. Stiiiiiill waiting to go back, Pops. Whatevs, no matter how much I love the Penguins in their current incarnation (and I do), I couldn't ever love them as much as I do the Sabres. Because what I really love about the Penguins is Ryan Malone, Jordan Staal, Maxime Talbot, Sid the Kid, Geno, Gary Roberts and Tyler "Fuggo" Kennedy. If all those players were to disperse, I'd still love them. I know that if I were a Penguins fan, Colby Armstrong would've been my favorite and I would be utterly devastated that they traded him. I'm sad about it now, I don't really follow the Penguins exceptionally closely in the regular season.


I JUST REMEMBERED A DREAM I HAD LAST NIGHT.

All I remember about it is that I was driving down the street and we passed Steve Bernier and his wife/girlfriend/BabyMama and Big Bear was all gross and fat and had terrible hair and hadn't shaved in weeks, but was one of those guys that would've looked cool in 1992. And the chick he was with was a cute, pregnant brunette. Hahahahahaha. WTF? I'm a cute brunette! I'm not pregnant, but 2 outta 3 aint bad. Big Bear! I'll totally still love you if you get big and fat and knock me up and decide to dress like people did when we were both 7 years old cuz we were both born in 1985. Wooooo!

Anyway, I want the Pens to finish off the Flyers ASAP. Sunday: Job #1, do NOT give the Flyers a Shot at Love the Cup, do NOT give them a rose, tell them they will not be America's Next Top Model Eastern Conference Champs, they need to pack their knives sticks and GO!


Ok, onto the Worlds:

Today starts the Semis.

Ovie, Afinogenov and Nabokov take on S. Koivu, M. Koivu and Selanne today at 12 EDT.

Roysie, Getzy, Nasher, and Caps PBF take on Lundqvist and (Caps)Backstrom today at 4:00 EDT.

Go Russia! Go Canada! Yay!


On the Sabres front:

I made a submission to Sabres.com with my thoughts about the Vezina nominees, y'all should check and see if they used my thoughts. Woo! Personally, I'm pulling for Nabokov to win it. All the reasons why are listed there, if they use them.


I sent a request for Entry Draft passes to Ottawa, I don't know if I'll get any, but I'll figure out what to do and how to get there if they send me some. Woooohoooo! Young fresh prospects. Haha. I'm not creepy, I SWEAR.


TODAY IS MY LAST DAY AT MY JOB! If you live in Buffalo and want an excuse to knock back a few drinks, I'll be at Pearl Street around 5:00. I'll be in the "I Heart Buffalo Hockey" sweatshirt wearing red glasses and dancing on the tables. Wooohoooo!!!!

---

Private to Jordan Staal:

YAY!!!!!!!! GOOD JOB!!!! YOU CAN COME ALONG IN OUR SABRES SMOOTHIE CAR RIDE!!! Hey, maybe we'll draft your brother, that'd be cool.

Love,
Anne

---

Private to Mike Ryan,

Happy Birthday! I hope we re-sign you, for M.J.'s sake.

Love,
Anne

BLAMMO

by Anne

Pens win! WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Ry-ry scores!! I'm starting to develop a mad crush on Ry-ry, like to the point where it may jeopardize my emphatic rooting against Pittsburgh when they play Buffalo next season. No, of course I won't be rooting for Pittsburgh, it just won't hurt as much if Ry-ry scores a goal. On a related note, watching the after celebration of Ry-Ry and Geno was almost cute. Sykora had been taken down at the face-off dot and you see them start to cheer and celebrate behind the net and, as is tradition, they look to where Sykora would be coming from for the "WOOO WE SCORED! WOO!" GuyLove hug, but he wasn't, and they saw him laying on the ice and grew instantly concernicus. Awww, good linemates! He was ok, he just seemed a little shaken up.

It was a wonderfully decisive win watched on DVR delay. It was pretty sa-weet.

That Hossa goal was just totally amazing. He really made the Flyers defense look as depleted as it is. Ugh, Buffalonians know what it feels like to lose in the playoffs because of lack of defense. RIP 2006 playoff run. But, whatevs, that Hossa goal was just amazing. Well done, sir, well done, you are perhaps the only deadline day trade that has really impacted your new team's cup chances... except maybe that Huet trade...it benefited Washington, but royally screwed over Montreal. Whoops.

So Pittsburgh and Detroit are going to meet in the Cup Finals, and I'm really afraid that Detroit is going to continue to be the Swedish Monsters they are now and just PWN the Pens. However, the Penguins have actually lost fewer games in these playoffs than the Wings....oooook, Detroit lost 2 and Pittsburgh's lost one. According to those statistics, this should be a really close Final. OOooook, I KNOW, the Flyers and Stars aren't completely out of it yet...buuuuuuut....yeah.

Something I noticed a few weeks ago...in three of the last 4 seasons, the 4th ranked team in the league won the Cup. Who's ranked 4th this season? The Pens. I'm just sayin'.


There were no games in the Worlds on Tuesday as they prep for the Quarterfinals which kick off today with Canada taking on Norway at 3:30 and The USA taking on Finland at 7:15.


OMG, I can't find a DAMN thing Sabres-related to talk about!! GAH! I think I'm developing a twitch. I almost went to Dave and Adam's yesterday to buy something Sabres related but I remembered that I'm broke.

I'm so desperate for material, I went onto those crazy girlfriend forums I've been hearing so much about lately and I got NOTHING. COME ON PEOPLE! Someone must be bangin' a Sabre in the offseason! Someone must've boned Tim Connolly and wants to tell the world their plight! The "juiciest" thing I got about Timmy was that someone thought they saw him at The Gap in The Boulevard Mall. Somehow Tim Connolly buying an overpriced pair of prewrinkled khaki shorts does not make me all a-twitter with gossipy glee.

Another juicy tidbit was someone thought Pominville's name was "Porninville" he he he, ho ho ho. So BAD! Maybe if his reputation for being as slutty was as prominent has his rep for being puckbunny fodder it would be apropos. It seems to me Pommer is more likely to be helping Danny Paille organize his stuffed animal 5K run, than to be having his way with the female population of Buffalo, and now, Halifax and Quebec City...although, I'd totally support him if he decided to. Wait, no, that came out wrong...or did it.....?

This just in from the Girlfriends Forum: Mike Ryan eats babies.

Ugh, the Vanek board is full of nothin' but love for SabreBirtney and his BabyMama and someone who's devastated because her love for Kotalik will never work out. Someone used the word "promiscuous" on Spacek's board, granted she was saying he wasn't, but this kind of acceptable terminology is NOT why I go to those boards. Blah blah blah. Sidebar, I know he's a hockey player and all, but if you saw Jaroslav Spacek oot and aboot at a bar in Buffalo, would you be all up in his bizness? I WOULD. But I can't imagine the rest of the women of Western New York go as weak in the knees when he talks about the "PK" and being "flat-footed". His blunt, take-no-prisoners style of interview is what gets my motor runnin'. That and: SHOOT PUCK SCORE GOAL WIN GAME! YAAAHHHHH!! Jaro makes me giggle like a school girl, always has and always will. There is truly no worldy explanation for my totally baseless love for Sissy Spacek.

Also, someone named "Briana" is running amok in the forums talkin' shizz about bitches or something and she's either 8 or 24. This needs investimigation. I want to find every 8 and 24 year old Briana and round them up for a chat. The 8 year olds get cookies, the 24 year olds get grilled on their alleged sexual liaisons with any number of Buffalo Sabres, unless it's Brian Campbell, then I just really don't want to hear about it.


This is in no way Sabres-related but you can actually hear Geno speak English and seem kind of human. I know, it's weird, right?

Fortunately Sid is nowhere to be found, so my belief that he's a robot continues on.

Uh-oh, this is getting to be a sickness:

Hey! Ry-ry! Come to Buffalo! Wooo! You're a free agent! Eeeeeeeven though he clearly wants to stay in Pittsburgh...bah, whatev. Our love must be realized. Bring your kid! I love babies! Forget your (presumably) totally hot, skinny, blonde wife! Who wouldn't want an out of shape brunette who wears (totally awesome red) glasses?

---

Private to Adam Burish:

Update your #$%*@^ing blog. You can make the whole thing about Drew Stafford and Jason Pominville if you like, pepper it with witty anecdotes about Patrick Kane.

Love,
Anne

---

Private to Eric, Marc, Jordan and Jared:

I'm sorry about your grandpa. I make excellent cookies if you feel you need some. We can play Scrabble to take your mind off of things if you'd like, I'll totally let you use secret Staal-language words, and back them up in your secret Staal Dictionary. I won't question it.

Love,
Anne

Happy (Belated) Mother's Day!

by Anne


Team USA v. Finland:

That game sucked. A LOT.

I swear that game was played at even strength for roughly 3 minutes. The 2nd period was like constant power play for one team or the other. It was totally ridiculous. I was cooking during most of the game, so it didn't get my full attention. I'm not sure if the teams were just being sloppy or if the refs were whistle happy. Seriously, the game could've been super fun if you'd taken a poll as to which team would get a penalty next and what it would be. They had every conceivable combination: 5 on 4, 5 on 3, 4 on 4, 4 on 3. The possibilities were endless.

Esche had a few great saves and one INCREDIBLE save. A Finnish player hit it hard to Esche's skate and it bounced high, angling back towards the net and Esche had to reach behind him almost to the goal line to stop it. I said it a few posts ago- he's playing in Russia -DARCY, SIGN HIM.

That first Finnish goal was total BS. It DEFINITELY went in through the side of the net. It was completely obvious from the above angle that it went in through the mesh on the outside of the pipe. Completely ridiculous. I'm SO MAD that Finland won. I can't even tell you. BULLHONKY.

This about sums up that game.

Ugh, whatev, on to the NHL:


Yay! Pens win!!!!!! I hate end of the period goals against. Its kind of deflating, but whatevs! Pens win! Sid gets a goal! Yay! Talbot with the game winner! Yay! Maxime Talbot is pretty sweet. And he's somewhat bangable too...each day I discover a new Penguin's picture to cut out and hang on my wall next to my Jonathan Taylor Thomas snapshot torn from the pages of Tiger Beat circa 1993.

I need to call something to your attention:

Jordan Staal's descent into Grizzly Adams territory is quite frightening to me. I can't find a picture that fully encapsulates how weird it is, but just go search it out. He's one of those players that seems to have decided to completely forgo all personal grooming habits for the duration of the playoffs. His hair is hanging down far below the back of his helmet in this strawberry blonde little tail and he has one of those awkward beards that doesn't travel farther north than his jawline. Throw this on top of an already prominent jaw, his frighteningly pale skin + blonde hair and the effect is mesmerizing. Shots of him on the bench are just downright spellbinding. If anyone has closeups of this, please advise. He's only 19 but all of a sudden he looks about 65. He's already one of those guys that manages to teeter on the edge between "I'm going to call security." and "Hey there, here's my number." Look at a picture of him pre-playoffs and then look at him now. He goes from cute to hobo in three chin hairs. I like my Staal's a little more clean-cut, thank you very much.


I've been saying it for months that I'm pretty sure Tyler Kennedy is the ugliest guy in the NHL. Ok, ok, maybe that's a little harsh, but he's certainly not bringing up the team's overall sexiness. However, watching him beat the tar out of Scottie Upshall last night was pretty sweet. If Tyler Kennedy weren't good, I'd say get rid of him, it's seriously dragging down the team's bangability. Don't disagree, if you were given a roulette wheel with every Penguin on it and you got to do or hang out with or cook for or whatever with whichever Pen your ball landed on, and you got Tyler Kennedy you wouldn't be pissed? You could've had any other number of far more sponge-worthy gents, and you got this guy:

Whoa.

I'd be calling up my local congress-person and demanding a re-spin.

Continuing on the do-ability of the Penguins: I try so hard to love Sid unconditionally, but I just can't. I try to be ok with Sid's facial hair, but I'm just not. That nauseating shrieking laugh when he scores a goal sounds like a 13 year old playing Dungeons and Dragons and he just killed a monster or blew up a house or cured a disease or invented cold fusion or whatever it is you do in that game. It's high pitched and not butch at all. Just watch his shootout goal celebration in the Ice Bowl and you'll hear exactly what I'm talking about. It's terrible. I had perceived him to be moderately do-able until I heard that. And then, OH GOD NO, no, no thanks, I'll pass. God, I'd almost rather do Tyler Kennedy... ew, fuck that, never mind, I'll take Yippy or Grizzly.


On the Ribeiro slashing thing: Osgood speared him first and then what a DIVE! Get Chris Osgood an Academy Award for that crap. Hey! Maybe I can start having any sort of opinion on the Red Wings! Right now I'm still pretty "eh, who cares" about them.

---

Private to Evgeni Malkin:

Geno, please don't hit Danny in the head. I don't like that. He may be a slag-faced whore, but you chew on your clothes...it balances out.

Love,
Anne

---

Private to Danny Briere and Marty Biron:

I'm sorry you're on such a gross team and I can't cheer for you. Danny, I'm sorry you're going to lose in the Eastern Conference Finals for the third season in a row. Hey, you could've faced the Penguins earlier had somethings changed, and then you wouldn't be where you are now. It's because Danny and Mike Richards are slag-faced whores. Vanek is a slag-faced whore and that's why we're losing. But it's Kevin Lowe's fault, not his, so I think we'll bounce back faster. HAH!

GO PENS!

Love and I Wish You Were Still Sabres,

Anne

Eastern Conference Whoop-di-doo

by Anne

It is rather tragic that for the 1st time in the past few years the boys in blue and gold are not vying for (and losing) the Eastern Conference Title. Whatev, if I can't have Pommers, I'll take RY-RY!


Yay! Win for the Pens! It was definitely a little disconcerting at the beginning when the Flyers came out blazin'. They had a really strong start but seemed to just lose their edge. It was weird. Although, the Flyers have lost game 1 of all their series thus far, this isn't necessarily an indicator that they're out.


So far no players in the 4 remaining teams have contracted botulism or ruptured an appendix while bending over to tie their shoes, but don't worry, I'm sure a rash of borderline life-threatening maladies is on its way.


Geno is a freakin' monster. It's funny, Geno shows off a lot more than Sid these days, Sid's taking more of the playmaker role (yes, he did score, that's true) but Geno scored TWICE. And he can score some crazy goals as well, see his last goal against the Rangers only a minute or 2 after skating for almost an entire powerplay. SICK. There are 2 reasons why Geno is not a threat to Sid's star status: 1) He's not Captain or captainly and 2) He doesn't speak English well enough to give interviews. Advantage: Sid. Whatev. I still love 'em both.


Worlds:


Sekera registered his first point of the tournament on an assist on the game-winning goal! He had 2 PIM, 4 shots on goal and was +2! Yay Reggie! They beat Slovakia 5-1


Who knew that Slovakia had a player named M. Hossa? I certainly didn't and my head was momentarily spinning. He also wears 81 (Marian Hossa wears 18) Further proof that Marian Hossa has an evil twin!! We must travel to Halifax and learn the identity of this "person" masquerading as a Hossa! Who's with me! The evil one must be STOPPED! OR IS #18 FOR THE PENGUINS M. HOSSA THE EVIL ONE?!?!? Wait, isn't Hossa Swedish? Reading penguins.nhl.com......reading penguins.nhl.com...nope, born in Czechoslovakia. Oh wait, I just remembered, he has a brother named Marcel.... searching..... searching.... reading the IIHF roster...yup, it's Marcel. Dang, this was more fun when Marian had a crazy twin. Boo.

Evil twin or Marcel?

Max had a goal and a primary assist in Russia's 4-3 shootout win over Belarus. Sorry Tits Bros!

Max appears to have misplaced the lower portion of his right leg

Canada plays Germany today at 3:30. The USA faces Russia on Sunday.

---

Private to Darce and Lar:

Please sign the players I want you to sign ASAP. You've kept my bloodlust at bay by signing Gerbster, but please get on top of your other contract signings. Thanks.

IF YOU DON'T RE-SIGN GOOSE AND BIG BEAR I'LL KILL YOU! M.J. WILL DIE (LITERALLY) IF MIKE RYAN ISN'T SIGNED. DO YOU WANT THAT ON YOUR CONSCIENCE?!?!

Loves ya!

Anne

I Think That Game in Dallas Might Still be Going On

by Anne


Bye Habs! Thanks for coming! Don't let the door hit ya on the way out!


I'll admit, I picked the Habs to take the Flyers, but I was the most on the fence about this series. I almost went with the Flyers in 6, but decided I'd go with the #1 team over #6. I picked wrong. Whoops. I'm already over it.


WOOOOP!!! PENS ELIMIDATE THE RANGERS!!!


Um, but blowing that 2 goal lead was NOT cool. Good thing you won it at home, or Sidney the 9 week old penguin at the Pittsburgh National Aviary would've been very very upset, as would I.


I love that Jarkko Ruutu's taunting of Jagr drew a kissy face from Jagr. I laughed a lot. Jarkko Ruutu PWNS Jagr and his vag-esque facial hair. They have such on-ice malice for each other that I bet they're secretly pining for each other off the ice. They're only angry to hide their feelings. They can't let it be seen in public, the world isn't ready for their love. Some day boys, some day.

This picture just sent Ruuts over the edge:

This picture hangs in Ruuts' stall. He says it's cuz he hates him, but when no one looks, he kisses it and calls it "heila"

It was a little disconcerting how bothered I was by seeing Slaggy bleed all over the place. Props to Slaggy for sucking it up. Too bad he couldn't be clutch with stitches in his cheek. Ohhhhh! Burn. Wish you were back in the Little League World Series? Boo-ya! Also, props to Brandon Dubinsky for attempting to help the ice crew scrape up the blood with his skate. Gross.


OMGAH A PHILLY/PITTSBURGH ECF. Wow. That's going to be INTENSE. Fortunately, there are no sexy Flyers, so there will be NO Flyers playoff boyfriend. I have a boyfriend on the other 3 teams, so ONE of them will make it in to the Finals.


I seriously love my cat a lot. He's totally adorable and freaks out during hockey games because I'm blogging and yelling and not playing with him.


The video of Brenden Morrow being the worst soccer player ever was pretty awesome. I was already taking a shine to Cap'n Morrow but that video pushed me close to the brink of new Dallas Stars boyfriend. Brad Richards still has that title, but Cap'n could take it.


And then he went and FINALLY SCORED IN THE 4TH OVERTIME WHICH I STAYED UP TO WATCH. WOOOOOOO!!!


I really thought that game wasn't ever going to end. Is there a point at which the NHL would just end the game because it's gotten totally ridiculous? I mean, I'm sure the answer to that question is NO! Someone eventually is going to literally fall asleep on the ice and the game will just end.


It was really amazing watching the fatigue build on the faces of those players, but, I'm sure, never once did any of them consider quitting. Playoff hockey! Wooooo!


I'm highly conflicted about how I feel about the outcome of these Conference Finals series. Ok, that's not true at all. I want both Dallas and Pittsburgh to win. However, I've taken such a shine to Dallas, that if they do manage to face Pittsburgh in the Finals, it'll be difficult for me to cheer against them with any kind of real feeling of malice.


Thus is my plight. If Philly manages to squeak by the Pens and the Wings defeat the Stars, I don't think I'll even bother watching. I'd have to try waaayyy too hard to muster some sort of playoff goggles for the Red Wings and that's just not something I'm prepared to do. And, as much as I love Marty and still have HockeyFeelings for Danny, I can't in good faith cheer for Steve Downie, Jeff Carter or Scott Hartnell.

---

Anyhoot. On to the WC (and by WC I mean World Championships, not Water Closet):


Canada won 7-0 with Roysie getting an assist! Wooo! Rick Nash, Dany Heatley and Getzy are a wicked intense line. Is anyone surprised? They're all on the top or near the top of their teams' stats every season. You know a team has a lot of offensive talent when Roysie has only 1 point when 12 goals have been scored.


Anyone who thinks Canada isn't going to win this thing needs to go home and think about things for a while.

Roysie!!
Chris Kunitz is 6' tall? Yeah, right. And Roysie is 5'9". Pah.

Kotalik scored a PP goal in a 5-4 loss to Russia. Wooo Kotalik!


Um, Dmitri Kalinin leads all of Team Russia in ice time and shifts. He has 2 assits and is a +4 with 0 PIM. So who exactly is wearing Kalinin's sweater and masquerading as him? Anyway, well done, Dmitri.

This appears to be Dmitri Kalinin...

Woo! A 5-1 win for Team USA!


Kaner opened the scoring and Staffers and Pommer each had an assist! Wooo!

It's hard to see, but Staffers and Pommer are bench buddies

Thank goodness Team USA finally scored even strength. It shows that they actually can, lol.


From the game blog: Stafford also tossed a Slovenian into the bench with a big hit. Haha, he does that a lot.


From Adam Burish's blog: I hope I don’t get Kaner too mad in saying this because he was pretty good out there too, but Tim was our best player that night.


I can imagine Kaner having a huge diva-fit "What do you mean you think Tim Tom was BETTER? I was the first over all pick! I'm only 19! He's OLD! Look at those forehead wrinkles! BAH! Forget you, Burish! I'll be in my luxury first-overall suite with Ovie watching our highlight tapes with the hookers. Gilbert! Call me when you want to get cheap pizza!"


Team Latvia has yet to score a goal in this tournament. They were blanked by Team USA on Friday and were blanked again today by Denmark. Ouch.

Yo, Tim Tom's pads TOTES clash with his uni

---

Private to Paul Gaustad:

Some dude offered me your phone number on Saturday night and talked about how he calls you when you do something good. I declined his offer. I think that goes above and beyond the call of duty to have your personal information at my beck and call.

Love and I told you I wasn't a Stalkers,
Anne

---

Private to Brian Campbell:

At least it wasn't "puck over the glass" this time.

Love,
Anne

Nathan Gerbe and I are now Frenemies

by Anne

Dear Dallas:

NOT. COOL.

Love,
Anne

---

Private to Brenden Morrow:

You basically had a natural hat trick last night. Unfortunately, only 1 of them counted. Please review how to cleanly and legally put the puck in the net.

Love,
Anne

---

Private to Nate Gerbe:

Thanks for rejecting my Facebook friend request. There's no way you could even know about this psychotic blog, so its either that you think I'm just a rabid Sabres fan OR you have this bizarre practice of not friending people you don't actually know. Whatev. You're dead to me. STAY IN BC FOR ALL I CARE!

No! Gerb-man, I don't really mean it, please come to Buffalo ASAP but don't reject my love when I stalk you downtown. Thanks.

Love,
Anne

---

Private to Pat Kane:

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Love,
Anne

---

Dear Team USA Powerplay:


WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Love,
Anne

---

Dear Team USA Even Strength:

Yyyyyyeah, uhhhhh could you try that again? I mean excellent work on getting the powerplays, but even strength goals are just as sexy, if not sexier.

Love,
Anne

---

Private to Tim Tom:

I'm glad you're as focused on your age and deep forehead lines as I am.

Love,
Anne

Game(s) 1 Day 2 or WOOOOOOOOO!!!

by Anne

When the Pens were down by three I contemplated changing the channel and playing Monopoly Jr. with the kids I was babysitting. My innermonologue in the 2nd period went something like this:

"Yo, screw THIS. CHRIS DRURY TIPPING IN A STAAL BULLET FROM THE POINT? I don't need this crud. I would only sit through this crap for Jason Pominville, and even this I don't know. How much more of this can I- Wooo! Ok, that's one, one isn't gonna do WOOOO! Ok...only down by one, maybe I'll stick around"

The third period went something like this:

"WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO - oops it's tied....WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BLARG! 15 SECONDS LEFT AND THEY TIED IT AGAI- off the goalpost? WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Geno and Sykora have been taking swing dancing lessons.

Here, they try to show their skills.

Their instructor, Ry-ry, comes over to lend a helping hand.

Things are a little off kilter in my HockeyWorld. Not only did I cheer the Stars goals, I found myself wanting them to win more and more with each passing shot on goal. I'm still motivated 90% by my desire to see the Sharks lose, rather than a desire to see the Stars win. It's a change of pace from my totally pro-Flames attitude of Round 1. The other 10% is pro-StuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUU BARNES!

Regardless, Go Stars! Of the 3 games I've watched, none of them have disappointed. So far I'm 3 for 4 on winning teams. Wooo! Come on Avs! Pick it up! I want to win my meaningless Round 2 pool!

Obligatory Sabres mention:

I love Ryan Miller because (i) he held an entire pizza during the anthems at the Wings/Avs game last night (ii) he probably ate that entire pizza (thank goodness) (iii) he makes no bones about the fact that he likes JM Liles more than he likes Brian Campbell, for those who think he's cheering for San Jose (iv) I couldn't pick JM Liles out of a line-up if my life depended on it, but I like him better than Brian Campbell.

Oh, and on the IIHF front: Ovie's playing for Russia! Wooooo!

Maybe the Russian Men's National team will do better than the Under 18s did. They lost to Canada 8-0 in the Gold Medal game. Whoops.

Round 2 and Team USA and Some Other Foolishness

by Anne


The NHL has announced the shedjwool for the Semi-Finals.


It's been officially announced that Paulie Martin of the New Jersey Devils will be joining his teammate Zachary and the rest of our Americans on Team USA this week.

It will be hard to find a picture of Mr. Martin as he shares a name with the Canadian Prime Minister:

Paul Martin: Not a professional hockey player

Paul Martin: Not the Prime Minister of Canada

Welcome Aboard, Mr. Martin. Sorry the Rangers are stinky. Sid, Geno and Ry-ry will take care of them for you.

I like percentages. Well, these percentages I don't like:

40% - percentage of teams in the playoffs that boast either Daniel Briere, Christopher Drury or Brian Campbell on their rosters

17% - chance that Briere and Drury will face each other in the ECF aka when Anne starts blindly and maniacally cheering for the Western Conference teams LET'S GO...uhhhhh...STARS!

100% - chance that if they do face each other, Versus or NHL.com or Pierre McGuire will make reference to how this is how far they both got in the last 2 playoffs, but THIS TIME ONE OF THEM WILL GO FURTHER


These percentages I do like:

100% - Recoveries that will be made by Timmy Connolly, Goose and Yo-yo following their off-season surgeries

3.3% - Percentage of teams in the NHL that have Nathan Gerbe (Guys! It's us!)

100%- my imaginary percentage of the likelihood TEPPO will be back in a Sabres Uniform next season and my imaginary percentage that Millsey and Pommerdoodle will be Sabres FOREVER!

10,000,000,000% - how much more totally RAD the Sabres are than any of those teams in the playoffs

To my fellow Office peeps: Happy Administrative Professionals Day! Wooo! I'll only be an Administrative Professional for another 17 days, so I'll enjoy(?) it while I can. Woo!

---

Private to Brian Campbell:

Screw you.

Sharks defenseman Brian Campbell played in one previous NHL Game 7 while with the Buffalo Sabres.

"It wasn't very memorable, to be honest," he said. "I try to forget about it because I didn't come out on the good side."

The Sabres lost to Carolina in Game 7 of the Eastern Conference finals in 2006.

It was pretty memorable for us. I had hoped it would be for you too. You probably should think about it more often and reflect on your mistakes...SINCE YOU LOST US THE GAME YOU DOUCHE BAG! HOW WAS THE VIEW FROM THE PENALTY BOX WHEN YOU TOOK THAT DELAY OF GAME PENALTY THAT GAVE CAROLINA THE GAME WINNING GOAL?!?!?! I can't recall you taking any delay of game penalties after THAT ONE.

Ahem, sorry. We all make mistakes, Soups. I suppose I can forgive you. Although I never 100% did for that. Maybe I'm unreasonable. Or maybe it's because DANIEL ALFREDSSON USED YOU AS A SCREEN FOR MILLSEY THAT GAVE OTTAWA THE EASTERN CONFERENCE TITLE IN 2007. YOU'RE A DEFENSEMAN! DEFEND!

I'm really glad you're gone.

Love and kicks in the teeth,

Anne

So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Good Night

by Anne

Today we bid farewell to those teams that have departed from the 2008 Stanley Cup Playoffs in the first round.


First, we say good-bye to the Minnesota Wild:

I have nothing against the Minnesota Wild, and in fact, was sort of pulling for them to win this series. I know Minnesotans are great hockey fans so it's too bad they were elimidated. The first three games were quite exciting. I tried really hard to get into them, but the allure of J-Rome pulled me towards the station playing his game. Sidenote: Gabby, um, where were you in this series? You need to earn back your superman roster photo stance.


Faretheewell, New Jersey Devils:

I may think your logo is kind of lame-tastic, and I still remain almost entirely indifferent to your existence, but I really really wanted you to beat the Rangers. Booooooo! Yuck! However, even though you lost, I shall not mock you or your logo. Let's face it, the Buffalo Sabres logo is pretty damn stupid and, inspite of their knack for schooling us in the shootout I like that Saucy Minx, and Zachy P.

Enjoy the golf course, Nashville Predators:

I was going to draw tears or something on your logo to make the tiger look really sad, but then I found your third jerseys and they're so heinously awful that there is no need to deface them further. Yick.

Sleep soundly and train hard (but not too hard) this off-season, Boston Bruins:

I'm torn about the Bruins, they stole our playoff spot, but I don't really hate them. My Grandpa is from Boston...they have Phil Kessel (blech) but they also have Marc Savard (eeee!). I'm not sorry they're out, but I'm not over the moon with excitement that Montreal is still in it.

If you see Jarome Iginla, tell him I'm no longer speaking to him.

I'm really mad at the Flames. JEREMY ROENICK?! Ugh when I opened NHL.com this morning Brian FREAKIN' Campbell's face was looking directly at me from my screen while patting JR on the head. EW! Thanks A LOT!

And also from last night:

:'-(

Bye bye Caps.....no, stay strong, Maloy.....don't let them see you when you're hurting.....hold it together.....aw hell:

WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHH(gasp)AHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Joffrey Lupul is a Stinky face Stinky head.

And lastly, we bring you last season's Conference Champions...both out in the first round. Yikes.

2007 Western Conference and Stanley Cup Champs:

The Mighty Anaheim Ducks of Mighty Anaheim were mightily elimidated by the Dallas Stars in a 4-1 victory decided by one Mr. Stuart Barnes. The Ducks used to be my favorite Western Conference team. Then they pulled lots of shenangians. Then I became fully apprised of Chris Pronger's douche-itude and then they made him Captain, which annoyed me, then Nieds came back, and then Teemu came back in like February. That's stupid and they didn't deserve to make it farther. There were those who thought they'd repeat as Cup champs....I entertained the thought for a time, but clearly am glad they are going home to golf.

2007 Eastern Conference Buttheads Champions

Everyone's trying to be all "Woe to the Ottawa Senators" wah wah wah, things were so hard, you had a new coach, Ray Emery is a stinky face! TOO BAD YOU HAD BASICALLY THE SAME TEAM AS LAST YEAR! What the HELL Ottawa? Are your ch'is so easily thrown out of wack that Ray Emery showing up late to practice twice has ruined your team? Whoa. That's pretty damn intense. I shouldn't take such glee in their losing but I do!

The only team I'm excited about anymore is Pittsburgh! Go Pens! Ugh, and they're facing the Rangers. Yick.

I really wanted Sid and Ovie to meet in the playoffs. :( There's always next year? I really hate that sentence.

Womp-womp

by Anne

Here's my OPP (Obligatory Playoff Paragraph):


Congratulations to Dallas for advancing! STUUUUUUUUUUUU gets the game/series winner! Yay! Well done Flames to force a Game 7! Kipper with a shutout! Woo! I'm really excited for this Game 7 on Tuesday!


Phew, glad that's over, back to scouring my brain and the internets for Sabres related stories:


Congratulations to Team Austria! They advance to the Big Show next season of the IIHF World Championships. Too bad the Sabres will be in the playoffs next season so they won't have SabreBritney helping them out. He finished the tournament 4th in scoring, tied for 1st with his teammate in goals (5+5), 6 PIM and +2. Well done, Thomas! Hurry back to Buffalo! Yay!


I wonder if the appeal of hockey players is universal? Do women in Innsbruck go gaga over Dieter Kalt the way I go nuts for Pommerdoodle? Are there bloggers in Vienna that yammer on about what Christoph Brandner needs to do to improve his game?


Speaking of Pommer, here's a totally unrelated picture of him I've saved for a while. I waited all season for him to score some wacky crazy goal for me to have a reason to post a picture of him with MacGyver hair:

Lookin' snappy, Pommer.

Pommer will need all the love vibes we can send him these days. It's been revealed that Goose has a sports hernia and will not be playing in the World Championship. Look for Pommer to have a tragic emotional breakdown. Maybe Staffy's sleepcuddling habit will help. I've heard of these "sports hernias" but have no idea what they are. Here's Wikipedia with the answer:

Athletic pubalgia, also called the sportman's hernia or sports hernia, Gilmore's groin or groin disruption, is a medical condition of the groin affecting athletes... It is a syndrome characterized by chronic groin pain in athletes and a dilated superficial ring of the inguinal canal.

Unfortunately, Goose will probably have to have surgery as early as the coming week. But, with rehab he should be ok by next season. I wonder if he'll be in Buffalo and need someone with an excellent bedside manner to play nurse... Oh Goooo-oooose! I'm available to nurse you back to health! I'd love to check the um, area, that's healing. ;-)