Wednesday, May 14, 2008

BLAMMO

by Anne

Pens win! WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Ry-ry scores!! I'm starting to develop a mad crush on Ry-ry, like to the point where it may jeopardize my emphatic rooting against Pittsburgh when they play Buffalo next season. No, of course I won't be rooting for Pittsburgh, it just won't hurt as much if Ry-ry scores a goal. On a related note, watching the after celebration of Ry-Ry and Geno was almost cute. Sykora had been taken down at the face-off dot and you see them start to cheer and celebrate behind the net and, as is tradition, they look to where Sykora would be coming from for the "WOOO WE SCORED! WOO!" GuyLove hug, but he wasn't, and they saw him laying on the ice and grew instantly concernicus. Awww, good linemates! He was ok, he just seemed a little shaken up.

It was a wonderfully decisive win watched on DVR delay. It was pretty sa-weet.

That Hossa goal was just totally amazing. He really made the Flyers defense look as depleted as it is. Ugh, Buffalonians know what it feels like to lose in the playoffs because of lack of defense. RIP 2006 playoff run. But, whatevs, that Hossa goal was just amazing. Well done, sir, well done, you are perhaps the only deadline day trade that has really impacted your new team's cup chances... except maybe that Huet trade...it benefited Washington, but royally screwed over Montreal. Whoops.

So Pittsburgh and Detroit are going to meet in the Cup Finals, and I'm really afraid that Detroit is going to continue to be the Swedish Monsters they are now and just PWN the Pens. However, the Penguins have actually lost fewer games in these playoffs than the Wings....oooook, Detroit lost 2 and Pittsburgh's lost one. According to those statistics, this should be a really close Final. OOooook, I KNOW, the Flyers and Stars aren't completely out of it yet...buuuuuuut....yeah.

Something I noticed a few weeks ago...in three of the last 4 seasons, the 4th ranked team in the league won the Cup. Who's ranked 4th this season? The Pens. I'm just sayin'.


There were no games in the Worlds on Tuesday as they prep for the Quarterfinals which kick off today with Canada taking on Norway at 3:30 and The USA taking on Finland at 7:15.


OMG, I can't find a DAMN thing Sabres-related to talk about!! GAH! I think I'm developing a twitch. I almost went to Dave and Adam's yesterday to buy something Sabres related but I remembered that I'm broke.

I'm so desperate for material, I went onto those crazy girlfriend forums I've been hearing so much about lately and I got NOTHING. COME ON PEOPLE! Someone must be bangin' a Sabre in the offseason! Someone must've boned Tim Connolly and wants to tell the world their plight! The "juiciest" thing I got about Timmy was that someone thought they saw him at The Gap in The Boulevard Mall. Somehow Tim Connolly buying an overpriced pair of prewrinkled khaki shorts does not make me all a-twitter with gossipy glee.

Another juicy tidbit was someone thought Pominville's name was "Porninville" he he he, ho ho ho. So BAD! Maybe if his reputation for being as slutty was as prominent has his rep for being puckbunny fodder it would be apropos. It seems to me Pommer is more likely to be helping Danny Paille organize his stuffed animal 5K run, than to be having his way with the female population of Buffalo, and now, Halifax and Quebec City...although, I'd totally support him if he decided to. Wait, no, that came out wrong...or did it.....?

This just in from the Girlfriends Forum: Mike Ryan eats babies.

Ugh, the Vanek board is full of nothin' but love for SabreBirtney and his BabyMama and someone who's devastated because her love for Kotalik will never work out. Someone used the word "promiscuous" on Spacek's board, granted she was saying he wasn't, but this kind of acceptable terminology is NOT why I go to those boards. Blah blah blah. Sidebar, I know he's a hockey player and all, but if you saw Jaroslav Spacek oot and aboot at a bar in Buffalo, would you be all up in his bizness? I WOULD. But I can't imagine the rest of the women of Western New York go as weak in the knees when he talks about the "PK" and being "flat-footed". His blunt, take-no-prisoners style of interview is what gets my motor runnin'. That and: SHOOT PUCK SCORE GOAL WIN GAME! YAAAHHHHH!! Jaro makes me giggle like a school girl, always has and always will. There is truly no worldy explanation for my totally baseless love for Sissy Spacek.

Also, someone named "Briana" is running amok in the forums talkin' shizz about bitches or something and she's either 8 or 24. This needs investimigation. I want to find every 8 and 24 year old Briana and round them up for a chat. The 8 year olds get cookies, the 24 year olds get grilled on their alleged sexual liaisons with any number of Buffalo Sabres, unless it's Brian Campbell, then I just really don't want to hear about it.


This is in no way Sabres-related but you can actually hear Geno speak English and seem kind of human. I know, it's weird, right?



Fortunately Sid is nowhere to be found, so my belief that he's a robot continues on.

Uh-oh, this is getting to be a sickness:



Hey! Ry-ry! Come to Buffalo! Wooo! You're a free agent! Eeeeeeeven though he clearly wants to stay in Pittsburgh...bah, whatev. Our love must be realized. Bring your kid! I love babies! Forget your (presumably) totally hot, skinny, blonde wife! Who wouldn't want an out of shape brunette who wears (totally awesome red) glasses?



Private to Adam Burish:

Update your #$%*@^ing blog. You can make the whole thing about Drew Stafford and Jason Pominville if you like, pepper it with witty anecdotes about Patrick Kane.

Love,
Anne



Private to Eric, Marc, Jordan and Jared:

I'm sorry about your grandpa. I make excellent cookies if you feel you need some. We can play Scrabble to take your mind off of things if you'd like, I'll totally let you use secret Staal-language words, and back them up in your secret Staal Dictionary. I won't question it.

Love,
Anne

3 comments:

  1. That Ry-Ry and Geno celebration was really cute! I loved how they stopped in mid-celebration to make sure Sykora was ok. Yay for concerned linemates!

    Ugh, Buffalonians know what it feels like to lose in the playoffs because of lack of defense.

    It's getting kind of annoying to hear about how terrible it is for the Flyers to lose 2 defensemen. I know it's their two best, but come on - we were down to Rory Fitzpatrick and Mike Funk for crying out loud!

    OMG, I can't find a DAMN thing Sabres-related to talk about!!

    If you're totally bored, come and check out my new blog (it's linked in my profile - shameless pimpage, I know...haha)!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. How much do you looooove the Pens and their hilariousity?!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. DUDE I TOTALLY HAVE GONE OVER TO THE DARK SIDE TOO. I got linked so much to the Derek Roy board I actually felt compelled to comment .

    This is how far along in the shame spiral I've fallen.

    Also I love when that person made the comment about Mikey eating babies, and someone else asked if he sauteed them. Lord above.

    ReplyDelete

Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


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