Thursday, May 15, 2008

Whoop-Dee-QuarterFinals

by Anne

NHL:

I only watched the 3rd period which was exciting, especially the crazy scrum at the end with Ott and Holmstrom, yikes. I opted to watch Team USA v. Team Finland, more on that later.

Stars hang on to fight another day. Unlike San Jose, who boasts the red-headed Messiah on their team, no one seems to think that they can pull off a miracle, but they did, of course, mention the stats about coming back from being down 3 games to none, as is mandatory. I will say that it is quite a feat to limit the Red Wings to one goal. Well done, Dallas. I knew they were going to win this game, I knew they wouldn't be swept, just like the Rangers won their 2nd home game of the Pens series with them. Eh. Whatevs, GO PENS!


So the World Championship Quarter Finals were held yesterday. NOW the games are single-elimination.

We've already bid farewell to Andrej Sekera and Slovakia in this tourney, and now we bid farewell to Ales Kotalik whose Team Czech Republic was eliminated yesterday by Sweden in a 3-2 overtime game that was probably pretty exciting to watch. Sweden scored first, then the Czech Republic scored 2, then Sweden got the equalizer and the OT winner. Sorry Ales!



AL! DO NOT MOON THE SWEDES!


FYI: Sekera finished the Tournament playing in all 5 games, 1 pt (o+1), +3, 11 SOG, with 19:01 average ice time per game. Yay!

FYI: Kotalik finished the Tournament playing in all 7 games, 7 pts (5+2), 3 PPG, -1, 0 PIM. Awww no penalties, good boy, Ales!

Team Canada took on Norway yesterday afternoon and Heatley scored just 37 seconds in. Yeesh. The first shift hadn't even gotten their legs going and Heatley potted one. Whoops. Then they traded 5 on 3 opportunities and both scored, followed soon after by another Norwegian goal. It started out really really close....aaaaand then became the monstrous blowout I was expecting. Yay! Canada won 8-2! Yay! Derek Roy had himself a 4 point night (3+1)! Hat trick! Yay!!!!!

Next, Canada plays Sweden. Boooooo. I don't care that you have Nicklas Backstrom! You also have Henrik Lundqvist and while I have nothing against him personally, I don't like his team, so PHOOEY on YOU Sweden. I don't care HOW funny this picture is:


Swedish Indians?


Hey look! Someone once found my blog while searching for "Henrk and Joel Lundqvist shirtless"! Here ya go! I live to serve my readers, haha. I hope a large check or lots of booze was involved in the conceptualizing of this ad. I mean, look at Joel's shorts. I know, you it took me a while to notice them too, as I found myself lost in Henrik's pecs. 35 might just be my new favorite number. Sidenote: who doesn't love the classic "make yourself look bigger and more buff by crossing your arms and flexing every muscle in your upperbody" move. Good show, boys, good show.

Anyhoot, Russia defeated Switzerland yesterday 6-0. Afinogenov had 2 goals. Woohoo! Next, Russia takes on the winner of the USA v. Finland match up.

Speaking of which:

That game was painfully boring until the end of the 3rd period. It was 2-0 Finland until about 5 minutes left when Mr. Yick scored a goal. And then, oh JOY of JOYS! His first goal of the Tournament, Team USA's first shorthanded goal, 37 seconds apart... STAFFY!!!! YAY!!!!!! GOOD BOY, STAFFERS!! You're trying SO HARD to be my favorite again, and you just might do it.

Tooooooo bad they lost in OT, and are now eliminated from the tournament, finishing in 5th place. :( What the HELL am I supposed to do now?

Anyhoot, when it all comes down to it:

Pommer played in all 7 games, had 5 points (2+3), both goals were powerplay goals, was +1, 0 PIM and averaged 16:54 in ice time.

Staffy played in all 7 games, had 4 points (1+3), +4 (tied for the team lead), the only shorthanded goal for Team USA and averaged only 8:41 in ice time per game.

An excellent showing from the boys in blue and gold for Team USA. I guess it's all about Roysie, Max and Kalinin....ugh, ok it's all about Roysie:

Two of Roysie's three goal celebrations:

Typical happy smiley Roysie


Suddenly and inexplicably stony celebration by Roysie. Probably because at this point the score was like 7-2 and its just rude to overly celebrate when you're PWNING the other team


Sigh.

Well, Adam Burish heard my plea yesterday. On their day off:

Some guys took the opportunity to go fishing. For some, it didn’t go as planned. Kessel got pretty sea sick as he spent most of the time leaning over the end of the boat, so guys were joking with him about that the past couple days, and Mueller didn't fare so well at sea either. O'Sullivan and Backes came back with a pretty good tan, and I would say Greene did too but he had a bit more of a lobster red shade to him, ha! Over all they had a great experience catching a ton of cod. Other guys spent a lot of the day walking around the downtown Halifax area eating outside and shopping.

Ok, there was no specific mention of Jason Pominville and Drew Stafford, I'm going to go ahead and assume they were in the "walking around and shopping" group. Go ahead, try to picture Drew Stafford fishing... no, really, I'll wait...... doo dooo doo, done? Yeah, I couldn't really picture it either. I bet Derek Roy dragged Pommer to all the fancy euro-style boutiques and gave him a personalized Roysie-over while Staffy and Zach Parise threw water balloons at passing elderly ladies and capped off the day by eating their weight in Starbursts on a patio while Kaner and Tom Gilbert made clay flower pots for their mommies at the pottery cabin of Camp Morningwood.

And yes, I did snicker at the thought of Phil Kessel being a big wimp and reintroducing the contents of his stomach to the world, hahaha. I'm not very nice. Here's a question: what exactly did they do with all the cod they caught? I'm guessing you can't bring live or dead fish across international borders, fellas, so I'm gonna go ahead and assume they did a "catch and release" deal. I think Adam Burish has a crush on Matt Greene, not just a ManCrush, but like really thinks they'd make a great couple. Let's start that rumor....aaaaaand GO.



Private to Jason Pominville and Drew Stafford:

It's ok, you tried. Too bad you won't be back at the World Championships anytime soon because the Sabres will never miss the playoffs ever ever ever again. Right? RIGHT? That's what I thought.

Love,
Anne



Private to all our boys that have been eliminated:

SMOOTHIE TIME! WOOOOOO! GOOSE IS DRIVING!! No Al, you can't have shotgun, Sabretooth always has shotgun, its the rules. WOOOOO!

Love,
Anne

Will Ry-ry finish off the Flyers tonight?!?! FINGERS CROSSED! Tomorrow is my last day! As Sissy would say: "YAAAHHHHH!!!!"

2 comments:

  1. the red-headed Messiah

    I bet he coined that nickname himself...

    Go ahead, try to picture Drew Stafford fishing...

    Yeah, that's not happening...He would be the kid eating the worms out of the bait bucket.

    Go Pens - and have fun on your last day!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I bet Soupy spends most of his days dreaming up new nicknames to use when he signs on to message boards as "SoupyLova51" to talk about how great he is.

    ReplyDelete

Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


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