by Anne
The NHL has announced the shedjwool for the Semi-Finals.
It's been officially announced that Paulie Martin of the New Jersey Devils will be joining his teammate Zachary and the rest of our Americans on Team USA this week.
It will be hard to find a picture of Mr. Martin as he shares a name with the Canadian Prime Minister:
Paul Martin: Not a professional hockey player
Paul Martin: Not the Prime Minister of Canada
Welcome Aboard, Mr. Martin. Sorry the Rangers are stinky. Sid, Geno and Ry-ry will take care of them for you.
I like percentages. Well, these percentages I don't like:
40% - percentage of teams in the playoffs that boast either Daniel Briere, Christopher Drury or Brian Campbell on their rosters
17% - chance that Briere and Drury will face each other in the ECF aka when Anne starts blindly and maniacally cheering for the Western Conference teams LET'S GO...uhhhhh...STARS!
100% - chance that if they do face each other, Versus or NHL.com or Pierre McGuire will make reference to how this is how far they both got in the last 2 playoffs, but THIS TIME ONE OF THEM WILL GO FURTHER
These percentages I do like:
100% - Recoveries that will be made by Timmy Connolly, Goose and Yo-yo following their off-season surgeries
3.3% - Percentage of teams in the NHL that have Nathan Gerbe (Guys! It's us!)
100%- my imaginary percentage of the likelihood TEPPO will be back in a Sabres Uniform next season and my imaginary percentage that Millsey and Pommerdoodle will be Sabres FOREVER!
10,000,000,000% - how much more totally RAD the Sabres are than any of those teams in the playoffs
To my fellow Office peeps: Happy Administrative Professionals Day! Wooo! I'll only be an Administrative Professional for another 17 days, so I'll enjoy(?) it while I can. Woo!
Private to Brian Campbell:
Screw you.
Sharks defenseman Brian Campbell played in one previous NHL Game 7 while with the Buffalo Sabres.
"It wasn't very memorable, to be honest," he said. "I try to forget about it because I didn't come out on the good side."
The Sabres lost to Carolina in Game 7 of the Eastern Conference finals in 2006.
It was pretty memorable for us. I had hoped it would be for you too. You probably should think about it more often and reflect on your mistakes...SINCE YOU LOST US THE GAME YOU DOUCHE BAG! HOW WAS THE VIEW FROM THE PENALTY BOX WHEN YOU TOOK THAT DELAY OF GAME PENALTY THAT GAVE CAROLINA THE GAME WINNING GOAL?!?!?! I can't recall you taking any delay of game penalties after THAT ONE.
Ahem, sorry. We all make mistakes, Soups. I suppose I can forgive you. Although I never 100% did for that. Maybe I'm unreasonable. Or maybe it's because DANIEL ALFREDSSON USED YOU AS A SCREEN FOR MILLSEY THAT GAVE OTTAWA THE EASTERN CONFERENCE TITLE IN 2007. YOU'RE A DEFENSEMAN! DEFEND!
I'm really glad you're gone.
Love and kicks in the teeth,
Anne
