Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Ryan Miller: Masked Man of Mystery and Q&As

by Anne

As soon as I saw the headline on NHL.com "NHL Store to Host Goalie Q&A" I knew Ryan Miller was involved.

This off season he's become the champion for the little guy, the oft-neglected, oft-ridiculed member of the team: the goaltender and his only friend in the world: his goaltending equipment.

He should really tag another cause onto his campaigning for goaltender equality. Perhaps he can make saves and pokechecks on a platform of educational reform? Paul Gaustad already beats people up on the platform of saving the world one blink at a time. Maybe, like a 4th grade class project, each player should name a cause or charity for which they play and they must announce their cause to the team at practices accompanied by a colorful poster. I think TimmyHO has already claimed fighting for a better tomorrow for the 18 year old blondes of Western New York by providing them a safe haven in his pants, no poster necessary, thanks, Timmy. Derek Roy will undoubtedly fight for a man's right to choose to wear a fauxhawk without ridicule. Does anyone else get the feeling that Drew Stafford probably hates Derek Roy and his too carefully styled hair, furry hooded coat and presumably popped collars?

Also, why does Rick DiPietro get to be a "goalie" but Ryan Miller is a "masked man"? Granted, "masked man" makes Millsey sound WAAAAYYY cooler than Ricky, which he IS.

Seeing as how these two are (most likely) the front runners to backstop Team USA at the 2010 Olympics I vote there should be an epic battle to determine the man in the top spot during this Q&A session. I don't mean a battle of hockey skills. I mean a decathalon of thumb wrestling, competitive pie eating, pictionary, hopscotch, chinese checkers, a dizzy bat basketball throwing contest, potato sack races, baloon shaving, a "who can fill a bucket with water from a swimming pool by wringing out a sponge repeatedly" race, and a spoon/egg race. In the event of a tie there will be a best 2 out of 3 rock, paper, scissors battle.

This is also how I feel we should choose our next Captain and the next President.

Woooo its really nice out in Buffalo today. I'm probably going to read outside.

5 comments:

  1. hey! i think "masked man of mystery" was used to make sure everyone knew that ryan miller is WAY cooler than rick.

    i started my own blog, The Fanatical Fan, and was wondering if you wanted to link up?

    happy blogging!
    frostee

    ReplyDelete
  2. i think "masked man of mystery" was used to make sure everyone knew that ryan miller is WAY cooler than rick.


    I can't lie, Ricky has the aesthetics over Millsey but I wouldn't trade the two EVER.

    I'll gladly link ya! Thanks for stoppin by!

    ReplyDelete
  3. He should really tag another cause onto his campaigning for goaltender equality. Perhaps he can make saves and pokechecks on a platform of educational reform?
    I believe last season everytime he made a save a certain amount of money went to help kids with cancer or something like that. :)

    For some reason DiPietro has always comes off as kind of smug, sort of like a hotshot. Miller always seemed more collected and down to earth for me. Of course I'm probably biased since Ryan's our goalie. Either way, "masked man" is much more ~mysterious~ and therefore cooler.

    I hope that the Q&A will be archived somewhere online because I won't be able to listen to it because I don't have XM Radio.

    Oh...and I want front row tickets of said decathalon. It sounds epic.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I don't mean a battle of hockey skills.

    I also have one to add... at my brother's work, they spin around 15-30 times, varying on the person, and have to throw a golf ball into it's rightful bucket. Hazardous for people watching, but I feel Millsy would be good at that.
    But really. I would pay to see that, for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I like your decision making process. It's fun and productive.

    ReplyDelete

Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


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