Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Cue My Scream of Disbelief and Horror

By S(h)ara

So I'm minding my own business, perusing sabres.com and what do I see? THIS:

CRAIG RIVET HAS KNEE SURGERY

Buffalo Sabres GM Darcy Regier announced that defenseman Craig Rivet had arthroscopic surgery on his knee today. His recovery is expected to be a minimum of two weeks.Rivet has three points (0+3) in six games with the Sabres this season, after being acquired in a trade from San Jose on July 4. The 34-year-old Rivet was named the 23rd captain in franchise history on October 8.

NONONONNONONONO! CRAIGORY IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE HURT! HE IS SUPER-HUMAN! HE HAS A BIONIC EYE! HE COST SIX MILLION DOLLARS! (Six Million Dollar Man? Anyone? Anyone?)

ALACK AND FIE. 4Q, TO WHATEVER LUMBERING MORON (PHIL KESSEL WAS IT YOU?) ON THE BRUINS HURT THE FABULOUS, BEAUTIFUL KNEE OF CRAIG FRANKLIN RIVET! (No, his middle name isn't Franklin. He's actually Anthony Craig Rivet. I just like the way Franklin sounds.)

Excuse me, I have to go wring my hands in agony.

6 comments:

  1. YO I READ THE TEXT MESSAGE AND LITERALLY WENT "AHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

    CRAIGORY!!! MY LOVE!

    ReplyDelete
  2. YO I READ THE TEXT MESSAGE AND LITERALLY WENT "AHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

    I may or may not have screamed at work when I read that.

    ReplyDelete
  3. 6 million dollar man, love it. When I read that text I immediately thought of you two :P

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yeah I yelled as well... I got the email from the WGR locker room and yelled at my lap top... then I IM'ed hubby... WHAT THE KRUNK!!! Then posted... (vomit) right before the damn Minn. game too... Sabres need him for that game! I hope they rally and win it for him!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I saw this news in school and my eyes got buggy on me. I can't believe he got hurt so sneakily! It was sabotage, obviously.

    ReplyDelete

Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


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