Every Hockey Player Loves Two Things: Steak and Entourage

by Anne


I could spend probably the entire day perusing hockey websites and blogs. I think this might qualify as an addiction.... maybe.

REGARDLESS.

My WCB (Western Conference Boyfriend) quest soldiers on.

Dallas Stars: Ehhh I still don't know

Detroit Red Wings:

Brett Lebda

I'm trying to overlook the fact that he plays for the Red Wings, but he's just too darn lovable to ignore.

Edmonton Oilers:

I really want to love Shawn Horcoff but his face looks like it got into a fight with the business end of a bronco, so I'm going to have to pass on that one.

Erik Cole intrigues me. He was born in Oswego, but he won the Cup with Carolina, but he didn't even play in the series against us because he was injured. He's the only player in NHL history to be awarded 2 penalty shots in 1 game. But I'm just not feelin' it.

Can we just discuss the love/hate relationship I have with teams like the Oilers and the Caps who opt for the "East Wannaka High School Class of 1996 Senior Portraits" style for their "Roster" page that lists the players name number and physical stats but not, oh, say what position they play? Its awesome and annoying. Mostly annoying because, unlike Senior portraits, no one is wearing one of those awkward sweetheart top smocks or posing with a piano or looking wistfully off into the distance with a Barabara Walters style filter over their face and backlighting. But I digress....

My Edmonton Oilers Boyfriend is Ethan Moreau, based mostly on the following:

Adorable children

He played in Niagara Falls for a while and


He's the captain and has Tyra-worthy roster photo
SMOULDERING

Los Angeles Kings:

Matt Greene

Ok so the first Matt Greene interview I watched made me drowsy with boredom, and NOT THE HILARITY ADAM BURISH PROMISED. However, investigate him on YouTube and he'll bring the chuckles:

"Spiritual Dancing" that's all i have to say.


Watch this one all the way to the end or you won't get the funny part
hahahahahahaha

He's also missing a lot of teeth which is kind of endearing

Moving on:

I may have gotten hit on via email by someone from Austria. I'm really not sure if I should respond to this email, THOUGHTS? Its written in decidedly broken English and his last name is (to me) unpronounceable. GUIDE ME, FRIENDS. I do suspect it might be S(h)ara as she's done things like this to me in the past. However, this email address is so complicated that if it is her, I'd really be just way more impressed that she managed to acquire an Austrian email address for the sole purpose of harrassing me sexually than I would be annoyed that she's creeping me out. The amount of effort required to obtain this email address vastly outweighs how much enjoyment she could possibly get out of emailing me pretending to be "Mario".

THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR POSTING A "YOU ROCK, TV!!" message on ThomasVanek26.com.

NEVER AGAIN.