Thursday, October 16, 2008

Every Hockey Player Loves Two Things: Steak and Entourage

by Anne


I could spend probably the entire day perusing hockey websites and blogs. I think this might qualify as an addiction.... maybe.

REGARDLESS.

My WCB (Western Conference Boyfriend) quest soldiers on.

Dallas Stars: Ehhh I still don't know

Detroit Red Wings:


Brett Lebda

I'm trying to overlook the fact that he plays for the Red Wings, but he's just too darn lovable to ignore.





Edmonton Oilers:

I really want to love Shawn Horcoff but his face looks like it got into a fight with the business end of a bronco, so I'm going to have to pass on that one.

Erik Cole intrigues me. He was born in Oswego, but he won the Cup with Carolina, but he didn't even play in the series against us because he was injured. He's the only player in NHL history to be awarded 2 penalty shots in 1 game. But I'm just not feelin' it.

Can we just discuss the love/hate relationship I have with teams like the Oilers and the Caps who opt for the "East Wannaka High School Class of 1996 Senior Portraits" style for their "Roster" page that lists the players name number and physical stats but not, oh, say what position they play? Its awesome and annoying. Mostly annoying because, unlike Senior portraits, no one is wearing one of those awkward sweetheart top smocks or posing with a piano or looking wistfully off into the distance with a Barabara Walters style filter over their face and backlighting. But I digress....

My Edmonton Oilers Boyfriend is Ethan Moreau, based mostly on the following:


Adorable children

He played in Niagara Falls for a while and


He's the captain and has Tyra-worthy roster photo
SMOULDERING


Los Angeles Kings:



Matt Greene

Ok so the first Matt Greene interview I watched made me drowsy with boredom, and NOT THE HILARITY ADAM BURISH PROMISED. However, investigate him on YouTube and he'll bring the chuckles:





"Spiritual Dancing" that's all i have to say.


Watch this one all the way to the end or you won't get the funny part
hahahahahahaha

He's also missing a lot of teeth which is kind of endearing

Moving on:

I may have gotten hit on via email by someone from Austria. I'm really not sure if I should respond to this email, THOUGHTS? Its written in decidedly broken English and his last name is (to me) unpronounceable. GUIDE ME, FRIENDS. I do suspect it might be S(h)ara as she's done things like this to me in the past. However, this email address is so complicated that if it is her, I'd really be just way more impressed that she managed to acquire an Austrian email address for the sole purpose of harrassing me sexually than I would be annoyed that she's creeping me out. The amount of effort required to obtain this email address vastly outweighs how much enjoyment she could possibly get out of emailing me pretending to be "Mario".

THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR POSTING A "YOU ROCK, TV!!" message on ThomasVanek26.com.

NEVER AGAIN.

16 comments:

  1. I've noticed that every hockey player loves steak and entourage. Seinfeld is high up on that list too.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Who doesn't like steak? I like me a piece of meat once in a while... he he he...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh good, now I know not to leave a message on Thomas' website for the fear of getting emails that I just don't understand.

    I definitely think you should give it an shot and right back to the person.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Um, excuse me but one of the people you are in love with totally has the same last name as my boyfriend, except it is spelled French style. That's creepy yo.

    ReplyDelete
  5. aww Ethan Moreau and kids!

    that Matt Greene interview is hilarious- did he suddenly really have to pee or something?

    ReplyDelete
  6. I've noticed that every hockey player loves steak and entourage. Seinfeld is high up on that list too.

    I think its part of the draft rankings. The more stereotypical your interests are, the higher you rank.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Who doesn't like steak? I like me a piece of meat once in a while... he he he...

    OHHHHHH SNAP. I'm actually a little suspicious of hockey players that don't say steak is their favorite food.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I definitely think you should give it an shot and right back to the person

    SHELBY IS IT REALLY YOU WRITING THE EMAILS?!?! MARIO RUNEHSDGLNOL? Snnnneeeeaaaky.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Um, excuse me but one of the people you are in love with totally has the same last name as my boyfriend, except it is spelled French style. That's creepy yo.

    YOU'RE CREEPY.

    Yo COR is the main reason I can't love Brendan Morrow you LOSER. LET ME HAVE ETHAN. If not, then you must find me a suitable replacement on the Edmonton Oilers and since I know you're just not going to do that, ETHAN MOREAU IT IS.

    ReplyDelete

  10. that Matt Greene interview is hilarious- did he suddenly really have to pee or something?


    My first thought was "did he leave the lights on on his car?" Did Craig MacTavish say "Matt, just go get a towel and come back, don't talk to Gene." I LOVE HIM.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Maybe it's a locker room kinda thing? They all wait for Monday morning to talk about what happened on the show.


    PS...I'm new to blogging and have no blogger friends. Come read and lets be bffs!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I--HANDS DOWN--vote for Ethan Moreau, just because of his beautiful offspring. It doesn't hurt that he's equally nice to look at.

    OOOHhh I found you on facebook, so can we be friends?? Thanks, I took the initiative to request your friendship because I knew you'd say yes. =]

    ReplyDelete
  13. I swear to Jeebus, it wasn't me. No, really, it wasn't. I'm sorry you're getting creepy emails from Austria.

    ReplyDelete
  14. PS...I'm new to blogging and have no blogger friends. Come read and lets be bffs!


    I LOVE NEW BLOGGING BFFS!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. OOOHhh I found you on facebook, so can we be friends?? Thanks, I took the initiative to request your friendship because I knew you'd say yes. =]

    Haha and I TOTALLY CONFRIMED. lol

    ReplyDelete
  16. I swear to Jeebus, it wasn't me. No, really, it wasn't. I'm sorry you're getting creepy emails from Austria.

    I really wanted it to be you so you could show me how to get an Austrian email address.

    ReplyDelete

Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


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