Thursday, February 5, 2009

I NEED TO COUNT THOMAS VANEK JERSEYS EVERY NIGHT

by Anne


I know its been like a little over a year since the Sabres last played at home, but, if you recall, starting back a few games ago, I began counting jerseys in head to head battles before the game. Without exception or exaggeration, every player that has won their head to head battle has gone on to have a great game. Tonight I counted Derek Roy v. Thomas Vanek. Vanek won 15-13 and had a natural hat trick.

WHO'S IN A SLUMP? WHOSE JERSEY NEEDS A-COUNTIN'?

That game was sweeeeeeeeeeeeet. Were there any Toronto fans there?? because I certainly didn't hear any.

There really isn't a whole lot to say about that game. It was an incredibly thorough beating from start to finish.

The Leafs are straight up terrible. Sweet Merciful Gretzky, they were AWFUL. AW. FUL. They had no forecheck, their play in the neutral zone was laughable, they were forced off the puck if Dan Paille breathed on them too hard and they didn't help poor Justin Pogge at all. I'm pretty sure each Sabre can tack about 6 takeaways onto his stats tonight. It was down right pathetic.

I could not get over the Leafs fans who cheered for Matt Stajan's "goal" I was almost as far away as I physically could've been and I heard the whistle before Matt Stajan even shot the puck, so the fans right next to the goal probably should've been able to hear it as well. Ryan Miller clearly did and made no attempt to stop an easy shot.

My new favorite phrase has been discovered. When Vanek scored his third goal, this drunk dude was lucid enough to realize it was a natural hat trick, stood up, beer in hand, waving his hat and screamed "NATTY HATTY BABY, NATTY HATTY." What a master of the English language.

Other interesting points of note:

The Toronto Maple Leafs have some damn fine looking fans. I'm pretty sure I would've just about melted into a puddle if this dude and I had smiled at each other for a second longer. To give you a frame of reference he looked a lot like J-M Liles.

(Like after I wrote those sentences I just zoned out and daydreamed a little about that dude. So pretty.)

This couple that made out a lot at the last Leafs game was there again, but they did not choose to fondle each other in front of me.

If you're going to stand outside the Women's bathroom and wait for your lady friend, please do not stand in front of my cart. I'm rather passive aggressive so I will just start screaming my product list at the back of your head until you get the hint and move.

Once again, fans were stingy and sales were poor. Whatevs, Montreal fans are better.

Maxim Afinogenov's shoes are really really loud when he's walking on concrete.

Thomas Vanek jerseys: 15
Derek Roy jerseys: 13
Red leopard print leggings: 1

The Pens won tonight, giving them 55 points, but leaving them in 10th as Carolina has a game in hand.

I'm a big fan of Steve Dangle's Leafs Fan Reactions and I was not surprised to turn on his video about tonight's game and see this as the opening shot:


I'm sorry, Steve.
But not that sorry.

3 comments:

  1. Boy am I glad the guys weren't wearing their red leopard print leggings tonight. Things could have turned out differently!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ummm, Annie, darling?? Tomorrow can you count, like, Roy jerseys and, um... Butler jerseys? Because if that's how these things are going to work, I think you need to help D out a little bit. Please and thank you!! Love!

    ReplyDelete
  3. "The Toronto Maple Leafs have some damn fine looking fans"

    THEY DOOOO! This guy in my class constantly harps on me for loving the Sabres and I hate it but I secretly want his babies. Shhh don't tell!

    ReplyDelete

Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


Disclaimer, yo.

Almost all of our pictures are borrowed from other sources. If they're yours and you don't want us to use them, just shoot us an email and we'll take them down.

We have nothing to do with the Buffalo Sabres, the National Hockey League or the actual "Sabretooth's House" located in HSBC Arena, we're just borrowing the name. If anyone is offended by anything we've written, get over it, it's a personal blog, not an accredited news source.

anniebeeswax [at] gmail [dot] com

ColorJunction