Friday, April 10, 2009

The One Where Anne Loses Her Cool

by Anne

Now I'm back to being pissed off. I was sad for a hot minute and wrote my crying emoticon about it but now I'm done. I'm over it. I'm mad again.

You can all go write your "less than-slash-three" broken heart things and I'll be over here acknowledging with full gusto that the Buffalo Sabres organization is pathetic and I'm sad to admit that I'm a fan and even sadder to admit that I write a blog about the S.S. Buffalo FAILShip

When you think about the team as individual people it's hard to rip them apart with full force. Players are supposed to play for the logo on the front and I will treat them as such. I'm a fan of the team and the city the logo represents, the players are just cogs in a very broken-down machine.

We had two stellar seasons between 2005 and 2007. That was fucking great. We won the President's Trophy. That was fucking sweet. Then they crapped the bed against Ottawa and we've been in a pathetic shame spiral of whiny finger-pointing and shoulder shrugging since then.

Those two fantastic seasons from 2005-2007 were the only two seasons we've made the playoffs since 2001. We missed the playoffs in 2002, 2003, 2004, 2008 and now, 2009. That's pathetic. How is that ok? Why is ownership okay with this? Why? WHY. Tell me WHY. I demand to know WHY this is apparently OK.

I want change. I'm fed up with this. I'm not sorry they missed the playoffs, hopefully by some act of GOD this means something will change. Will we get change? No, of course not. We'll get more bullshit conservative action from management and be forced to accept basically the exact same team next season and they will be EXACTLY as successful as they were this season.

Where are the excuses this time around, gentlemen? There aren't any? EXACTLY.

In 2007-2008 the stand-by excuses were "No real leadership" "Players filling out new roles." blah blah blah. Well in 2008-2009 we had a captain, a clear-cut leader who perhaps was ineffective. Was Craig Rivet a bad pick-up? I don't think so but he certainly didn't spark this team. These "new roles?" No longer new. Jason Pominville has 20 goals? Jochen Hecht is garbage, he's been AWFUL this season. Patrick Lalime was mostly awful while Miller was out, Tallinder had more terrible giveaways and moments of just pathetic defensive play than I'd care to think about. Toni Lydman took the world's most untimely penalties during several games this season, and they were just soft. There's no grit. I'd rather have that second round pick we gave up for Dominic Moore than have his "contributions" from the last month. One goal. One. He has a decent faceoff % but that's about it. Wow. Effing great. I'm fucking inspired by this team. I adore Teppo but this needs to be his last season. Please retire.

Fuck this attachment Buffalo has with Lindy Ruff too. I think highly of Lindy Ruff as an individual. He's a wonderful human being. You know who else is a great human being? Oprah. But I don't want her to coach my hockey team. I don't understand why Buffalo is all "stay the course" with this crap. This team STILL hasn't recovered from losing Briere and Drury. That is a problem. In my opinion, a coaching problem.

Last night's win sucked. It was the worst 5-1 victory I've ever experienced because it was COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS. Where was this effort last week? Last month? THE LAST TWO SEASONS? For the HOT MINUTE before the Rangers won, it was fun, but every one of those goals felt like a swift kick to the stomach because in the end THEY MEANT NOTHING.

When we missed the playoffs last season I was sad but had hope for this year. I don't have hope for next season. I fully expect us to be a draft lottery team next year and I'm not saying that to be sensationalist, that's how optimistic these last two seasons have made me.

I hate that I've made hockey so damn important to me and this bunch of losers and ne'er-do-wells matters to me so much.



  1. I'm sorry you're so cranky, but I like to read posts telling it like it is. This season was BULLHONKY, top to bottom.

    I fully expect us to be a draft lottery team next year

    Sadly, that would actually be better than another year in tenth. At least we'd wind up with a good pick.

    Stupid hockey. Stupid Sabres.

  2. I'm sorry! Wasn't it Jerry Seinfeld who said that we're all just cheering for laundry anyways? That's depressing too.

    I grew up a Red Sox fan and this happened every season until '04. This is why the dual sport approach is so effective. The hockey and baseball seasons are perfectly situated so just as either one is winding down, the other one is beginning with its fantastic prospects and false hopes.

  3. "less than-slash-three" broken heart things

    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. I have no idea why but that totally cracked me up, Anne.

    And preach it. This season blew and the whole lot of them can get lost. Even :::small sniffle::: Lindy. Yeah!

  4. Wow... Please don't be this angry tonight?? Let's make a pact to talk about only the Kings, Blackhawks, and Canucks, okay?

  5. That being said, I (mostly) agree with you.

  6. I have been a Pittsburgh Pirates fan for a zillion years. Obviously such fruitless loyalty runs in the genes...

  7. Preach it woman! I fully endorse firing ppl! Dave Nonis was a lovely guy and a lot of the guys he drafted are still here, but the Canucks were able to take a big step forward when Gillis came in. Firing works!

    And Big Bear will totes treat you well. He saved you a comfy seat on the bandwagon.


Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny

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