Friday, May 1, 2009

Mourning the Death of a Playoff Beard

by Anne

St. Louis Blues goalkeeper Chris Mason was rocking a MONSTROUS playoff beard in Round 1 against the Canucks. Clearly Christopher had been cultivating this beast the entire time his team was pushing for the post season. Words cannot adequately describe, so I will let this Google Image photograph of a TV screen speak for itself:


Completing the look is his cueball head.

On Thursday, Chris Mason backstopped Team Canada to a 5-1 victory over the Czech Republic and was named Team Canada's player of the game and we got to see a shorn sheep:


A mere pittance of stubble
A dark day for playoff beards everywhere.


Team USA plays France today at 2:15 EST.

The two series I care the least about (Anaheim/Detroit and Boston/Butter Snaps) play tonight but I'll be working anyway. Textual updates will not be necessary.

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Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


Disclaimer, yo.

Almost all of our pictures are borrowed from other sources. If they're yours and you don't want us to use them, just shoot us an email and we'll take them down.

We have nothing to do with the Buffalo Sabres, the National Hockey League or the actual "Sabretooth's House" located in HSBC Arena, we're just borrowing the name. If anyone is offended by anything we've written, get over it, it's a personal blog, not an accredited news source.

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