Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Hockey is Bad for My Health

by Anne


I have documented proof that intense Stanley Cup Finals games are bad for my health.

Just as a test, before the game I took my pulse and BP (cuz my mom as a machine that can do it at the push of a button). Before it was 113/67 pulse 61. All low to normal readings. At the end of the game it was 139/88, pulse 96. Goodness gracious.

Pens win Game 6 by a score of 2-1!!


Lookityou!
Jordan gobbled up his own rebound on a 2 on 1 with Cookie Monster and opened the scoring!


Yay!!!


GRONK RAWR!

Rob Scuderi was the hero of the game, by far, literally diving into the play and preventing the puck from going into a wide open net not once but twice. He even made a nifty kick save in the game's dying seconds to preserve the win for his team. Tyler Kennedy scored about 5 minutes into the third and upped the score to 2-0. Kris Draper added his first point of the series and brought the Wings within one but that's as close as they got, thanks mostly to Rob Scuderi's heroics.

I'll be calling in sick to work on Friday.

As crazed as this series has made me, this is nothing compared to what it would be like if this were the Sabres. I would literally be unable to sleep or function normally until Friday. Godspeed, diehard Pittsburghers. I feel for you. Try to make it to Friday in one piece.

Game 7.

LET'S GO PENS!!!!!!!!!

Sidenote: I'm watching Trent Edwards' press conference and he's wearing a Sabres t-shirt. Awww. Feel the city unity. Also, the Bisons are horrendous. Ed Kilgore can't get over it on Channel 2.

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Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


Disclaimer, yo.

Almost all of our pictures are borrowed from other sources. If they're yours and you don't want us to use them, just shoot us an email and we'll take them down.

We have nothing to do with the Buffalo Sabres, the National Hockey League or the actual "Sabretooth's House" located in HSBC Arena, we're just borrowing the name. If anyone is offended by anything we've written, get over it, it's a personal blog, not an accredited news source.

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