Thursday, June 18, 2009

Insomnia, You Win

by Anne


Here is a list of things I think about when I can't fall asleep at night, which is quite often:

  • If Herbie Hancock married Nathan Gerbe, his name would be Herbie Gerbe
  • Why has Chris Butler still not accepted or rejected my Facebook friend request? I assumed he had denied our friendship but, several weeks after I last checked, it is still "pending." I also learned that you cannot remove a pending friend request
  • I would not be surprised to find out that Sidney Crosby is really terrible on a first date
  • Do you think it really annoys Marc Staal that his little brother entered the NHL before him?
  • Speaking of Sidney Crosby, did his parents just try to cover their bases and pick unisex names for both their kids? Taylor and Sidney could be male or female names.
  • Would I be more or less grossed out by Tim Connolly if he still had hair?
  • If Joch Hecht married Olli/Jussi Jokinen his named would be Jochen Jokinen (if you don't know how to pronounce those names, the joke is lost on you).
  • I think being married to an NHL player would have more downsides than upsides.
  • Why do people get so worked up about the draft? After Tavares, Hedman and maybe Duchene, the likelihood that any of these boys will see serious NHL time this coming season is not good
  • Even if the Sabres tanked with the hopes of getting the #1 pick, I still think they would lose the lottery, because that's how the Sabres roll.
  • I don't care about the NHL Awards because no Sabres or any of "Anne's Top 10 Favorite non-Sabres" are nominated for anything. Unless you can guarantee me shots of Vinny in a well-fitted suit, I'm not watching. Wait, I just remembered Iggy is nominated for something about being totally badass and bald or something like that. I will watch
  • I desperately need rehearsals to start. I'm going out of my skull with boredom.
  • Why do I bother choosing favorite non-Sabres? The list changes drastically every year or so. Its very hard for me to keep on loving a player if his team is annoying. The notable exception being Jarome Iginla and his Lames.
  • Why does Bucky Gleason still have a job?
  • What will it take for Lindy Ruff and Darcy Regier to be fired? Can I help speed along this process in any way? Let me know.

I love this picture so much

  • Sometimes I think about moving to New York or Chicago or Pittsburgh or Boston but then I realize that it would be tough because I know I'd always want to come back to the B-lo
  • It really drives me crazy when people try to out do each other by proving they were fans of a musical artist for SUCH A LONG TIME. No one is impressed. "I WAS A FAN OF LADY GAGA BEFORE SHE EVEN HAD AN ALBUM." Whoa. Ok, calm down there, captain.
  • Katy Perry can't sing, yet she's a recording artist. Honestly, have you ever listened to her "sing" her song "Thinking of You?" She sounds like a goat choking on its own saliva
  • I miss these fools:










I miss them :(
I don't like the playoffs without them
Or the offseason
Also, I'd really appreciate it we re-signed Jaro :( Pretty please? :)

10 comments:

  1. I miss them too :( and I want them to sign Sissy too. Hurry up Darcy dammit!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Two things:
    1) i miss the sabres too
    2) don't feel bad about bulter not accepting you as a friend, I'm still waiting too.
    sARa

    ReplyDelete
  3. I would like to add... that pic of Miller. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ooh, is that the 10 pound catfish we could still trade Afinogenov for?

    That picture of Pominville will never not be funny.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Even if the Sabres tanked with the hopes of getting the #1 pick, I still think they would lose the lottery, because that's how the Sabres roll.



    You are so right.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I miss them too :( and I want them to sign Sissy too. Hurry up Darcy dammit!

    I'm not exaggerating when I say, if Jaroslav Spacek leaves Buffalo, I might cry over losing a player for the first time ever. I was sad over Marty and sad over Stu, but I was in Italy when Danny Briere left, or there might've been tears.

    ReplyDelete
  7. 2) don't feel bad about bulter not accepting you as a friend, I'm still waiting too.

    Phew. Now we know Sir Christopher probably has like 100 pending requests and just chooses to ignore them, hoping they'll go away. He's such a gentleman, I'm sure he wouldn't want to offend.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I would like to add... that pic of Miller. Thank you.


    Haha, you're welcome. I thought you'd like that. I have no idea what its from, but its one of dozens of pictures I've saved away and never used.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ooh, is that the 10 pound catfish we could still trade Afinogenov for?

    OMG, I bet it is! Geno and Gonch want to help along the process of getting their countryman back to Russia. How kind of them.

    That picture of Pominville will never not be funny.

    Nope, never.

    ReplyDelete
  10. You are so right.

    Sometimes it sucks to be right, haha.

    ReplyDelete

Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


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