Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Yesss New Roster Photos

by Anne

I absolutely love roster photo day. Who shines? Who smiles with their eyes? Who suffers from that dreaded disease Roster Photo Panic, more commonly known as RPP?

Unfortunately, most of these boys seem to be better prepared for these photos. No one looks like they slept in the car last night, there's the standard "cut by a weed whacker" hockey hair, vacant stares and odd lighting. However, let's check out some high (and low) lights:

Oh Sir Christopher
You could use a trim, but I'll forgive you

Aww Pie's all growed up.
He got himself hitched this summer.

Awwww, Little Foot always mixes up his photos.
This is tiny because there's no watermark

Felix has a remarkably thick neck
And a remarkably vacant facial expression

Jacob Lagace looks like he took a puck to the head, someone pulled a jersey on him and pushed him in the direction of the stool and he almost missed.

The photographer told all the Kings to put their hands on their lap and lean slightly forward
Dewey complied

Greener did too

All the Oilers roster photos look like they were taken in a bathroom

Aww, Matt Duchene's first NHL roster photo

I could not come across rosters for many other teams, so many of my other WCBs don't have roster photos up yet or they're not hilarious or adorable.

Wooooo. Hockey is almost here! Fo' Reals. The Canucks beat the Islanders 2-1 in the Hockeyville game last night. Hooray!


  1. Oh my. Some of those photos are beyond describable. Why does it look like some of them have really small heads in comparison to their bodies? It's very strange.

    I'm kind of sad that there's no massive grin from Tim Connolly this year, that he's passed that mantle onto Adam Mair. Goose and Millsy look good, as does Staffy.

  2. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmkizzleSeptember 15, 2009 at 9:16 PM

    Why do all the players have those translucent beards? And please tell me that man named Felix is not actually a Sabre...

  3. Felix Schutz (blogger pun beams activate!) is indeed a Sabre. He's been playing over in Germany the past few years.

  4. I made my way over to Getty Images after seeing this post and all I can say is "Oh, my." There are some truly frightening roster photos this year.

  5. HAHA! Jacob looks freakin' highlarious. They all look like they're wearing blimps.


Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny

Disclaimer, yo.

Almost all of our pictures are borrowed from other sources. If they're yours and you don't want us to use them, just shoot us an email and we'll take them down.

We have nothing to do with the Buffalo Sabres, the National Hockey League or the actual "Sabretooth's House" located in HSBC Arena, we're just borrowing the name. If anyone is offended by anything we've written, get over it, it's a personal blog, not an accredited news source.

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