Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Buffalo vs. Dallas: A History of Dislike

By S(h)ara

Anne's been doing all the posting, so I thought I'd contribute something to this discussion.

Buffalo and Dallas have quite a sports history. Two Super Bowls in a row that we lost to them, and of course, Brett Hull's famous "No Goal" in Game 6.

What is up with Dallas constantly hating on Buffalo? Dallas, why must you steal those sports championships from us and rub it in our collective faces? (Like when I have to endure Brett Hull on Versus?) It must be a conspiracy. I'll bet there's a gathering in some underground bunker in Dallas right now. Hey, Brett Hull is one of the co-interim general managers of the team right now, it makes perfect sense. They probably have flow charts, dry erase boards and doughnuts. Actually, this is Texas so they have steak. If Buffalo had a flow chart, it would look something like this:

Thank you, Captain Sissy. I like that you're very straightforward and to the point. Assistant Captain Pommerdoodle thinks you should add some rainbows and smiley faces, but I think it's fine the way it is.

Dallas has it out for us, Sabre Nation, and they're determined to drag our team's good name through the mud. We must not let them win! We know we're better than them. We may not have a Stanley Cup, but at least we didn't have to steal some other city's team in order to get a franchise--we were awarded one. And, lest we forget, Brett Hull cheated to win the Stanley Cup. So there.

I still have faith and hope in this team. I have to, otherwise I would go completely insane. If you're in need of some Zen Sabres relaxation, may I suggest:

It will surely put your mind at ease and fill your soul with happy Sabre thoughts.

Meanwhile, I still hate Brett Hull. Roysie, if you want to make me love you more, give ol' Brett a puck to the face. Just don't do it in the hotel dining room like you did last time, cause then they'll know it was on purpose.

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Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny

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