Friday, January 18, 2008


By Anne

Nothing too exciting to report from the world of hockey this morning.

There were 4 shootouts last night. That's a lot. This means I firmly expect the word "nip" to appear in many headlines on today. The Edmonton/ Washington game went 12 rounds, that's a lot. Especially when NO ONE HAD SCORED IN THE FIRST 11 ROUNDS. How boring and tedious. You have to feel bad for the goaltenders. They're clearly putting forth their effort and their shooters just can't connect. After 11 shooters, you just start putting anyone out there, if we got to 12, I think James Patrick (or Jeep as they apparently call him, thank you Derek Roy) should take a whack at it. I love that Matt Bradley was just like, "I'll score, let me go" so Bruce was like, fine, at this point, just go for it, the pickin's have got to be slim. Dude had only scored 2 goals all season and he went out and beat Roloson. That takes balls to pretend to be that confident (he later admitted that he wasn't as confident as he sounded), but whatever! he scored the only goal of the shootout. Well done, Mr. Bradley.

Does anyone else feel completely apathetic about inter-conference games? Yeah last night's game was almost record setting for the Caps in shootout length but I really couldn't have cared less. It's cool that the Caps won, I'm glad. For some reason I have a special place in my heart for the Caps. My sister, MK, chooses to love the Blackhawks because for so long no one in Chicago did. It doesn't help when you can't watch your own team play home games on TV. Fools. Fortunately they've changed that and made some funny little commercials to talk about it:

They go in order of seniority down the bench all ending with Kaner! I read somewhere that they filmed these commercials really really fast with very little prep, but fans always like to see their team being normal, so well done, Chicago Blackhawks. Might I add that there are some good looking Chicago Blackhawks, maybe MK is on to something...

Every team seems to be snapping losing streaks these days: the aforementioned Blackhawks, the Leafs (ew)...the Sabres...? I can't watch tonight's game. I'm thinking of DVRing it, waiting to see if we won, and if we did, then I'll watch it. I just seriously can't take losing. Although I just realized I didn't set my DVR before I left my apartment this morning. I won't be home before the game starts. Whoops, there goes that plan. If only you could program the DVR remotely. Let's look at some more of those attractive hockey players:

It's also amazing how much more attractive most hockey players are than their roster photos would indicate. Most roster photos are less flattering than 2 a.m. DUI mugshots.

In a twisted snap of irony, the "I heart Buffalo Hockey" sweatshirt I ordered on Dec 26th (mere hours before this slide began) finally arrived yesterday. Perfect timing. Maybe this will be the thing that snaps their streak (yes I'm just a tiny bit hockey superstitious) never mind the fact that Roysie could be back in the line-up tonight as well, it's clearly the presence of my sweatshirt that will change everything.

Even though there have been no wins, I would still like to give out a BAMF award. It's a tie among Goosie, Pie-Yay and Grizz. I cannot imagine where this team would be without them. A special nod to Pommerdoodle as well, but we expect those results from you. For the most part, we didn't expect as much as we got from those three. So I say you each get your own BAMF award. Because, in this time of BAMF-less Sabres hockey, we need our heroes to give us hope. And, Grizz, next time I see Brendan Shanahan, I'll kick him in the kidneys. It probably won't hurt, but it's the thought that counts. Pie-YAY, same goes for Volchenkov, except I'll kick him in the face. And Goosie... well, actually, why don't you fight those other two and I'll cheer for you, it'll probably be more effective if you (who are nearly a foot taller than me and much more bad-ass) take them on.

1 comment:

  1. Oh yeah, pimpin' my Chicago Blackhawks. (I just found this blog a few seconds ago and find it quite amusing; female hockey fans kick ass.)

    I totally agree about the roster photo biz; they never ever look right.


Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny

Disclaimer, yo.

Almost all of our pictures are borrowed from other sources. If they're yours and you don't want us to use them, just shoot us an email and we'll take them down.

We have nothing to do with the Buffalo Sabres, the National Hockey League or the actual "Sabretooth's House" located in HSBC Arena, we're just borrowing the name. If anyone is offended by anything we've written, get over it, it's a personal blog, not an accredited news source.

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