Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Collector Pins = More Crap I Don't Need In My House

By S(h)ara
Remember last year how when playoff season rolled around, the Sabres did those collector coin thingies that everyone wanted and almost no one could get? Well guess what they're doing this year?

Hey those roster photos were kind of pricy. Let's think of a way to reuse them!

First of all, no one wears pins anymore, unless you're Maryalice Demler on Channel 2 News. What? You're not supposed to wear them, just keep them in a nifty "full-color, glossy collector's album"? Do the Sabres pins come to life in the middle of the night and battle each other in a fight to the death? No? They just sit there? So, basically, you want me to spend more money on another piece of crap that's just going to sit in my house and collect dust? Got it.

I believe the Buffalo News refered to these pins as "exciting". I think perhaps they need to get their hands on a Webster's and look up the definition for "exciting". To me, there is nothing less exciting than a bunch of pins that don't do anything. At least the coins were slightly more high-class. Coins make me think of money, which I usually need more of. Pins make me think of useless First Communion and Confirmation gifts that I still have no idea what to do with. ("You can't throw that out! Aunt Marge gave that to you on your tenth birthday!") Pins are lame, Sabres! Unless you're a Boy Scout working towards his macrame badge, no one wants a crappy pin. And you couldn't even put fun pictures of the Sabres on there! I mean, I would totally buy a pin if it had this picture on it:

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the future of the Buffalo Sabres

I mean, look at how SabreBritney is posing? He looks adorable! And Goose! As John McInroe, the bad boy of tennis! You smash those rackets and marry Tatum O'Neil, Goosie! (Sidenote: at the game on Sunday, Anne and I kept yelling "BRITNEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" and I'm pretty sure the people around us had no clue what we were talking about.)

Most of the roster photos suck, guys. Sorry, but it's true. And much as Toni Lydman's makes me giggle every time I see it, do I really want it commemorated forever on a pin? I think not. Next year, make beer steins. Everyone loves those.


  1. Oh my God, I would die if I had a beer stein with Yo-Yo's face on it. How awesome would that be?

    Also, I agree that the pins are an exceptionally lame idea for a collectors item, especially considering how awful some of this year's roster photos are (just look at poor dopey Pommerdoodle! He's so much cuter than that!). However, I wouldn't be opposed to affixing one or two of them to my book bag. Just saying.

  2. Gambler, I would totally put a couple on my bag though I do agree that pins are, overall, kind of a weird choice. What does the average hockey fan do with pins? (I do like the pins better than the coins which were totally pointless.)

    Steins would definitely be a step in the right direction. You should email someone at the News.

  3. "Sabres Beer Steins: Now you too can drink with your favorite Sabre!"

    I think we're on to something here, guys...


Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny

Disclaimer, yo.

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We have nothing to do with the Buffalo Sabres, the National Hockey League or the actual "Sabretooth's House" located in HSBC Arena, we're just borrowing the name. If anyone is offended by anything we've written, get over it, it's a personal blog, not an accredited news source.

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