Saturday, February 9, 2008

Good. Great. Splendid.

by Anne

Everything I have to say about last night's game has already been said. All I know is that I never want to have to watch an interview like this ever again:



I feel so bad. I already hated Phil Kessel for being an overrated undisciplined pain the butt, and that didn't convince me otherwise.

Those are the kinds of games I don't choose to dwell on, games where the Sabres just sucked. I mean Britney scored and so did Sissy. P.S. 7 of Sissy's 9 goals have been on the PP. Hot. Shiz. You GO Sissy!! Woooo! And Sissy always gives great, gut-wrenchingly honest post-game interviews.

This games T-OC goes to our entire offensive corps, except for Staffy, who was hurt. Again. :( :( (whimper, sob, cry, pout)

What the HELL, forwards? YOU HAD 1 SHOT ON GOAL IN THE ENTIRE 3RD PERIOD? In case you weren't sure: SHOOT PUCK SCORE GOAL WIN GAME!

Hey HEY! Soupy! Pratters! All defensemen! Get back here! Don't think you're getting off scott free! You didn't do much to force turnovers or get the puck into the Bruins zone either. I heard Pommerdoodle's name more on the blocked shots than Lydman, so I'm punishing you too!

No, Kalinin! You do not get off because you stood up for Millsey.

Ok, everyone, that's it! Everyone will skate goal line to goal line 1500 times while balancing a puck on your head. THERE'S heads up for ya!

What? Oh, Britney, Sissy, you only have to do it 1,000 times. Staffy's hurt? Fine, your punishment is to sit next to me while they skate and tell me how great I am. You're all afraid Millsey will kill you all if I leave you alone with him? That's a risk I'm willing to take, Millsey, you're in charge while I'm gone. Thanks. Thibault didn't play? yeah but Thibault you have to do it anyway, you got away with a few things earlier in the season.

And, as an added punishment, I've decided to choose one song from Hank the Tank's playlist to play on repeat until you're finished, ok?



Enjoy. Staffy and I are going to get smoothies. Sabretooth, you can come too.

2 comments:

  1. Hey, I've been meaning to add you guys to my blogroll forever. I know this is a silly question, but what do you consider the name of your blog - Sabretooth's House or Welcome to Sabretooth's House?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ummm Sabretooth's House I suppose. I've never actually thought about it before, haha.

    ReplyDelete

Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


Disclaimer, yo.

Almost all of our pictures are borrowed from other sources. If they're yours and you don't want us to use them, just shoot us an email and we'll take them down.

We have nothing to do with the Buffalo Sabres, the National Hockey League or the actual "Sabretooth's House" located in HSBC Arena, we're just borrowing the name. If anyone is offended by anything we've written, get over it, it's a personal blog, not an accredited news source.

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