Friday, February 8, 2008

I'm Definitely the Slow One in this Relationship

By S(h)ara

Anne is clearly the better blogger than I. She knows stats, players and all kinds of other cool crap that I don't. So I was gonna do this great post about how I jinx the Sabres when I watch the first period and wear my now-cursed Brian Campbell t-shirt, but I'm just not feeling it. I'm tired and a little cranky and so not in the mood to be at work right now. So instead, I'm going to talk about why I hate pink Sabres jerseys.

I find you morally offensive

For serious, The point of wearing a jersey is to support your team and wear their colors. I know no females who would voluntarily wear that monstrosity. As Anne said it's like they're saying "You can like hockey, but not like men do, like girls do. With pink." Which of course led to a whole humorous exchange between the two of us about the "Rules for Women at Hockey Games."

*Ladies, please avert your eyes for the fighting.

*No curse words are to be used in the presence of ladies. Women sit in the 300's, even sections, Men, don't look at them. HEY LADY! WHERE IS YOUR LAVENDAR GLITTER SABRES TOQUE TO COVER YOUR HEAD?

*Curtains will be hung between the Ladies’ Sections and the Ice. Ladies will be able to watch an edited-for-content video feed of the game, and will be given complementary tea and watercress sandwiches. We ask that all hoop skirts and crinolines not exceed 10 inches in diameter.

This was hilarious yesterday afternoon. And then we went to Dave and Adam's, and got into a whole conversation with one of the wonderful women who works at the Transit store about how much we hate the stupid, effing pink jerseys. If I am ever caught wearing a pink Sabres jersey, I entrust that each and every one of you will make an effort to shoot me where I stand and put me out of my misery.

Meanwhile, Katebits, we totally took this picture for you:

Look! A three of your very own!

Unfortunately, we were unable to steal one for you, since stealing is frowned upon in most societies and Anne and I were unwilling to serve jail time. We hope you enjoy it.

We play Boston tonight. Everyone tell Anne how Boston is going to wipe the floors with us, because when she's not at all optimistic we win. And if it goes to OT and a shootout she is not, under any circumstances, allowed to watch. Just in case.


  1. Gaaaaaasp! It's my three! Attached to a jersey! :D

  2. I hate all that pink stuff. What the hell?

    Mark and I went to a game last year and we stopped in the Sabres Store. There was a little girl, maybe 8 or 9, and her mom was teasing her about all the pink stuff. "I'm going to buy you this pink jersey and this pink hat and these pink socks" etc. and the little girl rolled her eyes and said, "Thomas Vanek doesn't wear pink and neither do I." I wanted to hug her.


Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny

Disclaimer, yo.

Almost all of our pictures are borrowed from other sources. If they're yours and you don't want us to use them, just shoot us an email and we'll take them down.

We have nothing to do with the Buffalo Sabres, the National Hockey League or the actual "Sabretooth's House" located in HSBC Arena, we're just borrowing the name. If anyone is offended by anything we've written, get over it, it's a personal blog, not an accredited news source.

anniebeeswax [at] gmail [dot] com