Wednesday, February 6, 2008


by Anne



I had given up and muted the OT 5 minutes, only peeking from my kitchen every once in a while while I ate some dinner. Then I peeked in after each shooter.

I was in total shock.

Hank the muthafuckin' TANK! WOOOOOOP! YAYAYAYAYAY!!!

Lindy whipped out some sweet player trivia tonight: Hank used to be a forward in Sweden. No wonder he's so tank-ass on the shoot out!

Could there really be any other BAMF?

Not ONLY did he blast the puck to the net for Mikey Ryan's goal, he scored on the shoot. out. Not ONLY did he score on the shoot out, he totally made that Saucy Minx look foolish. Brodeur tried to whip out his usual diving poke-check but Hank was TOTES expecting it, slipped the puck to his back hand and flipped it into the empty net. Spot on, Mr. Tallinder, Spot. On. For your skillful shooting, and because Danny Paille says you're always working on your "hands" in practice, here is your prize:

Protect those valuable hands in golden style

2nd place goes to Dave Williams. Who? you might ask? The Sabres' equipment manager, or "Willie" as the players call him. Why? Because 2 of his skates have scored us goals in 2 games. Willie, you keep taking excellent care of that equipment!

Here's a silver bill clip, because you, sir, are MONEY

3rd star goes to Millsey. Apparently Millsey had nothing to eat in his house and had to eat at McDonald's for breakfast! Horror of horrors! Or an excellent plug as the entire back of their bench is covered with golden arches? Wanna spot a Sabre in the next couple days? Hit up some grocery stores and dry cleaners. I wonder if Millsey had any coupons from the Transitowne blimp? Millsey, to commemorate your 99th career win, and in case you ever need to chat, enjoy your new bronze phone:

Millsey, if you need some groceries, gimmie a ring, I'll totally cook for you!

Millsey didn't even know how the 2nd goal was scored until Rayzor told him post-game. (Kalinin is DIZAMN lucky we won tonight) I know I know, he was doing his best, but not good enough!

And an honorable mention to Staffy for getting the first shoot out goal!! Beating Brodeur!! Woo. Too bad Hank totally over shadowed you. But I took note, Staff! P.S. my friend Jen was the model you walked down the catwalk with, woooo!

Pie-YAY skated top line again and moves to a +14 on the season and picks up another point!

the Staffy Roysie Britney line was all -2. Uhhhh, that's ok boys, you'll do better next time, I'm sure.
9th place!

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Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny

Disclaimer, yo.

Almost all of our pictures are borrowed from other sources. If they're yours and you don't want us to use them, just shoot us an email and we'll take them down.

We have nothing to do with the Buffalo Sabres, the National Hockey League or the actual "Sabretooth's House" located in HSBC Arena, we're just borrowing the name. If anyone is offended by anything we've written, get over it, it's a personal blog, not an accredited news source.

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