Thursday, May 8, 2008

Hockey Drought

by Anne

The last few days have been a mere sampling of what the off-season is like. No NHL hockey, no hockey of any kind, and the only Sabres we hear about are randoms who've just been signed. (Welcome Aboard Gerbster!)


What am I to write about today? The remaining playoffs? It's been a few days so I basically have lost a lot of interest in these proceedings.


Of course I want Ry-ry and Sid to pull out a series victory. I wonder if the lesser but funnier Marty B will be able to continue his whacked out crazy play over the remaining games. For the sake of the Penguins, I hope not. Then again, if the Penguins lose, these boys will need a shoulder to cry on and some lovin' up by random female fans from other cities who really don't have a lot emotionally invested in these playoffs.

If you were as smokin' hot as Ryan Malone and the crazy girl you were pouring your heart and soul to over Javashakes at Spot bolted out the door in a frenzy because she may or may not have seen Jaroslav Spacek, would that really do much to soothe your aching soul or boost your ego? Whatevs, Ry-ry. Let's give it a chance! If I see that cubic wonder I'll try to restrain myself. I said TRY!


Oh woe of woes on the Team USA front:


Cap'n Halpie hurted his knee and has to have surgery to fix it :(





That blows. I know its cool to represent your country, but it's really all in good fun, its not the type of situation where a serious knee injury is expected or something that you have to accept as part of the atmosphere. Poor Halpie! As I've said before, I'm an excellent nurse! WINK.


Tim Tom is also leaving the Tournament with an injury but apparently it's not as severe beacuse there's no article about it on NHL.com like there is about Halpster. Heaven forbid someone think Tim Tom's injury isn't as newsworthy. Why do I love Tim Tom so much? There's really no good reason, I just like him. WOOOO! Get better soon Tim Tom!


Neither Adam Burish nor Ryan Miller have updated their blogs in DAYS. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON IF THEY WON'T TELL ME? Fo' reals, boys. Inquiring minds want to know. Per Millsey's advice I did drink some cheladas the other night...actually I drank them before I read his blog, but if he asks, I was totes following his advice. And, per Adam Burish's advice I cornered someone named Matt Greene and tried to force them to tell me a funny story, but they WOULDN'T. I couldn't find the hockey player so I Facebooked someone.


I decided to peruse the USA Hockey media guide (which Kaner is on the cover of, btw) to see what it had to offer us. On the top of his page, Pommerdoodle's hometown is listed as Buffalo, NY. Even though in his "personal" information paragraph it does say that he was born in Quebec. I hate when things are inaccurate though. I happen to know Pommer had 68 pts in 06-07 (34+34) the only reason I remember is because it's really easy to remember, however the media guide short changes him a goal and says he only scored 33.

Jordan Leopold and Brandon Dubinsky were JUST named to the team yesterday and they're already in there. That's dedication by whichever unsuspecting intern had to look up all their stats. Ha.

Whoever decided to use this picture of Staffy is my new BFFL and is probably a Parise


In other Sabres/IIHF World Championship news. An interview with Sabres 2005 2nd round draft pick, and the only German selected in that draft, Philippe Gogulla.

I'm really obsessed with Cliff Bars, especially the chocolate chip:

Curse you Peter for introducing me to them!

I've eaten one for breakfast everyday for the past week or so. They're like $.99 each at Wegman's. Breakfast for a dollar! And they fill you up! And they're organic! And I feel like I'm eating a giant extra chewy chocolate chip cookie! Woo!


We better sign someone else today or something because I'm strapped for HockeyInspiration over here. I haven't seen a Sabre in DAYS on TV or in their living room, er, um, I mean, at the grocery store.

Oh yeah, predicitions for this round: Pens in 6, Wings in 5.

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Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


Disclaimer, yo.

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We have nothing to do with the Buffalo Sabres, the National Hockey League or the actual "Sabretooth's House" located in HSBC Arena, we're just borrowing the name. If anyone is offended by anything we've written, get over it, it's a personal blog, not an accredited news source.

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