Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Here's a Shock...

By S(h)ara

It's not like this one is coming out of left field. WGR (home of my radio boyfriend) is reporting that the Sabres will not offer Dmitri Kalinin a contract.

Yeah, I can hear the gasps of shock from here.

Yoinked from WGR's website:

"WGR 550's Paul Hamilton asked Regier about their plans for unrestricted free agent defenseman Dmitri Kalinin. Regier says that the team will not offer Kalinin a contract."

Are you amazed? I'm amazed. I can't believe we're not offering "Tri-Is-His-Nickname-Because-He-Stands-There-Like-One" a contract. (Can you tell I'm being sarcastic?) Anne told me he said in an interview that his wife really likes Buffalo, which Anne followed up with "Well that sucks for her."

Though I do feel bad for you, Dmitri. You were drafted in like the second round. It must suck to be the guy on the team no one really cares about. Even your girlfriend page doesn't care. The conversation looks something like this:

"Is he married or what?"
"Yeah, he has a wife named Tatiana"
"Go Sabres."
"Let's talk about Trent Edwards."

Clearly, you need to start banging girls in the bathrooms of clubs and asking them to do threesomes with you and one of your teammates.

Do svidaniya, Tri. We here in Buffalo will certainly miss having someone to blame for everything. Hell, the Dmitri Kalinin Eff-Up is even its own category in the Sabres drinking game. That kind of notoriety does not come easily.

1 comment:

  1. Yo Tri was drafted EIGHTEENTH OVERALL.

    Sickening.

    ReplyDelete

Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

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