by Anne
Big Bear was traded to Vancouver!
DARCY THIS IS THE WORST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER. YOU HAD BETTER MAKE THIS UP TO ME!!
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I'm really sad. At least it wasn't Pie-YAY. I suppose that means they're clearing cap space for someone expensive. WHY BIG BEAR??? He was only a "Sabres" for like 2 months but I loved him anyway!! At least it wasn't Goose either. Goose or Pie-YAY, then I'd be on the roof contemplating ending it all. NOW I NEED MORE ICE CREAM AND BOOZE!!!!
WORST. BIRTHDAY. PRESENT. EVER.
I HAD BETTER GET JASON SMITH OR SOMEONE OF EQUAL OR GREATER AWESOMENESS BY THE END OF THIS WEEKEND OR IT IS TO BE WAR BETWEEN US, DARCY.
Glossary... Sort of
- "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
- Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
- Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
- Craigory - Craig Rivet
- Full Monty - Steve Montador
- Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
- JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
- Little Foot - Drew Stafford
- MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
- Noodles - Derek Whitmore
- Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
- Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
- Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
- Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
- Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist
Because It's Never not Funny
Disclaimer, yo.
Almost all of our pictures are borrowed from other sources. If they're yours and you don't want us to use them, just shoot us an email and we'll take them down.
We have nothing to do with the Buffalo Sabres, the National Hockey League or the actual "Sabretooth's House" located in HSBC Arena, we're just borrowing the name. If anyone is offended by anything we've written, get over it, it's a personal blog, not an accredited news source.
anniebeeswax [at] gmail [dot] com
Maybe you can transfer your Hockey Reference subscription to someone else... :(
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry Steve got traded on your birthday! That sucks so much! He's just so sweet and talented and addictively lovable, so why can't GMs see that in him too?!
ReplyDeletePS- I'm the other half of Slightly Saucy (with Soph), and I think your blog is hilarious... when totally depressing stuff isn't going down! :(
Maybe you can transfer your Hockey Reference subscription to someone else... :(
ReplyDeleteOH GOD! I FORGOT! I KNEW I SHOULD'VE LISTENED TO THAT LITTLE VOICE THAT TOLD ME NOT TO BUY THAT! NOOO!!!
And
ReplyDeleteHey Jess! If I were a GM my team would be chockablock with loveable but secretly scary tough guys. We'd be unstoppable!!!
Don't worry, I'll take good care of Big Bear! I love him already. And I'm reeling from losing Nazzy, so I'm ready to latch on to someone new. Our coach is french canadian, and Loungo and Alex Burr too, so he can talk French to them.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, I'll take good care of Big Bear! I love him already.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy him! His interviews in broken English are paralyzingly adorable. He wasn't here long, but I'm still sad to lose him! I know I shouldn't be greedy, he really wasn't THAT great (minus his first game) and I still have the rest of my top 5 faves with room for a new #5!
I'm so sorry Anne! I go and get operated and am gone for like two days and all this shit goes down! It really hurts to lose Big Bear, I know. Plus on your b-day that double sucks. I feel your pain (in addition to the pain in my side). Gawd, I was really starting to like Buffalo, too. I guess I can still like them especially now that they have Rivet (he cracks me up) and doubly so if they get Gator.
ReplyDelete