Monday, July 7, 2008

The Buffalo Sabres Are Trying to Kill Me part 435790

by Anne


So, in their never ending efforts to CRUSH MY SOUL, the Buffalo Sabres website still lists BIG BEAR on the roster. They also list Craig Rivet and Patrick Lalime, so this is not just a lack of effort on the part of webmaster, Brian Wheeler. Did the big brass decide to rub the salt into the wound that they created on the anniversary of the date of my birth by leaving up a painful reminder that my #5 favorite "Sabres" is no longer with us?!?!

In my crazy heart of hearts I've convinced myself that its up there because we're going to re-sign Big Bear and this will all have been a whirlwindy yet spectacular slight of hand maneuver by DR to distract the world with Craig Rivet while bringing back Big Bear to warm my cold little hockey heart.

Maybe it's just too painful for Brian Wheeler too. I understand dude, come over to my house, we'll drown our sorrows in cocktails and cry it out. Let it out, man, let it out.

With the loss of Big Bear, the team's overall adorableness takes a serious hit. Like, they went from this level of adorable WITH Steve Bernier:


LOOKIT HIS LITTLE TUMMY!!!

To THIS level, without him:



I mean, sure, he's still cute, but its just not the same


Although Craig Rivet does seem to seriously up the team's rugged badassitude. This could bode well for the team. I could totally handle adorable AND rugged, though!!!

Whatevs.

BTW, Get Smart with Steve Carrell and Anne Hathaway = not that good. Don't see it. See Wall-e instead.

Darcy, if you give away Pie-YAY in the same foolish non-concerned for my health and well-being way that you so willynilly gave away Big Bear, I will throw a 3 year old who wants ice cream but Mommy keeps saying no and it's really hot out so I'm cranky style temper tantrum with screaming and flailing and kicking and holding my breath til I turn blue and pass out, right in front of the Arena. I'll do it, D.R., I'll do it. Do you really want that on your conscience?!?! DO YOU?!?!

I thought NOT.

5 comments:

  1. Yo, I liked "Get Smart". "Wall-e" looks like it might make me cry a la "An American Tail" or "The Brave Little Toaster". I do not need to rehash those memories. The wounds have barely healed.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My apologies, I just thought the writing was kinda lame, and the Maxwell Smart character was like totally different than the one in the TV show. I'm pumped to see Wall-e though. I think I was too young when seeing An American Tail for it really to have struck me as it has clearly struck you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, Wall-e is GREAT. I went to see it with my daughters this past weekend and I loved it! I didn't shed a single tear and I'm the type person that can't even watch Frosty the Snowman at Christmas, b/c he melts and the kids are so sad, I ball like a baby every time. But Wall-e was wonderful.

    ReplyDelete
  4. NOT YOU TOO! Why do they want to kill us, Anne? I think maybe Tim Connolly is planning a mass attack on the bloggers. I'm sorry Timmy... no more making fun if you.

    Why the hell does the entire world love Wall-e? I didn't see it yet. I suppose I should now.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Get Smart looks okay overall, though Steve Carell seems to be veering more and more toward slapstick-style humor

    ReplyDelete

Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


Disclaimer, yo.

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We have nothing to do with the Buffalo Sabres, the National Hockey League or the actual "Sabretooth's House" located in HSBC Arena, we're just borrowing the name. If anyone is offended by anything we've written, get over it, it's a personal blog, not an accredited news source.

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