Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Songs That the Sabres Have Ruined for Me

by S(h)ara

The title says it all. We all have at least one or two songs that we can't listen to now without thinking of the Sabres. Some of them make us cry. Some of them make us laugh. Some of them make us want to punch Sean Avery in the babymaker. Actually, there isn't much about Sean Avery that doesn't make me want to punch him in the babymaker. But I digress.

Here they are, the songs that have been Sabreized for me.

Better Days - The Goo Goo Dolls
I know most of you are with me on this one. You show me a hockey fan in Buffalo who can get through the whole song without the urge to scream "THAT WAS OUR CUP!", and I'll show you a closeted Leafs fan. As soon as I hear those opening chords, all I can think of is how much I miss Danny Briere and the poop-eating grin on Timmy Ho's face when Max scored that amazing belly-flop goal. Anne and I were driving down the 33 and had to turn the damn song off because we were getting too upset. It's still on my iPod, probably for the days when I feel like torturing myself with visions of Danny in the blue and gold.

New Orleans is Sinking - The Tragically Hip
Thank you so much, Brian Campbell, for taking one of my favorite Hip songs and ruining it. Now everytime I get to the verse that starts with "pale as a lightbulb" all I can think of is Campbell, drunk off his ass at The Bucking Buffalo, making up words about the Ice Bowl. At least you haven't ruined Bobcageyon. Yet.

City of Blinding Lights - U2
"They're playing City of Blinding Lights?! The Sabres must be coming out for their warm-up!"

Teardrops on My Guitar - Taylor Swift
This song is clearly about Drew Stafford. To me, it conjures up images of some 15 year old girl flopped on her bed and staring at a picture of Staffy. "He'll love me someday, I just have to get his attention. I know! I'll follow him around SoHo until he finally realizes we're meant to be!"

Apologize - One Republic featuring Timbaland
Derek Roy has picked this song every time it was his turn to pick the player tunes of the game. My theory? It's clearly a message to his ex-girlfriend. He wanted to pick Total Eclipse of the Heart, but that was vetoed by Sissy.

Shipping Up to Boston - The Dropkick Murphy's
It's not so much ruined, as it makes me think that every time Anne calls me, we're on the Power Play.


  1. LOl @ the songs.

    I'm safe from the "Better Days" curse, because, while it makes me think of the Sabres, I was not living in Buffalo when the song came out. I was in Salt Lake City, and bought the album the day it came out actually- I'm a big Goos fan- so I knew the song before I ever saw it as a Sabres song.

    But I feel ya on the general gist. I hate everything Taylor Swift sings but I could see some lame girl crying over Staffy. It makes me laugh.

  2. He wanted to pick Total Eclipse of the Heart, but that was vetoed by Sissy.

    It's a little known fact that Jaroslav Spacek holds the Presidential veto on Player Tunes. This right previously belonged exclusively to one Mr. Christopher Drury. When Dru slagged his way out of town there had to be a new Pres o' music. Sissy won this right-to-veto in an epic, days-long thumb wrestling battle with Jochen Hecht.

  3. Dreeew looks at me... I always sing that when I hear Stafford!!!!

  4. At least you haven't ruined Bobcageyon. Yet.

    I will personally kick Campbell's ass if that day ever comes.


Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny

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