Tuesday, July 8, 2008

SEE?!? It's not just ME!!

by Anne

Everyone wants Big Bear. Everyone but the Buffalo Sabres, it appears:

CHECK IT OUT

Ummm, $2.5 million? Really. I love you lots, Big Bear, and you provide a lovely physical presence, but that's more than I anticipated you'd rake in next season, and probably too steep for what the Sabres could really justify paying you, but YAY for Big Bear!!!!!

I loves me some Steve Bernier.

And:

CRAP

But MO-OM!! I wanted Jason Smith!!!

OTTAWA IS STINKY. I guess they needed to replace Redden somehow. I don't like it when things go well for the Ottawa Senators. It makes my stomach turn. Ugh. Fine, whatever. We're still not where we should be on defense, but its a better situation than last year.

Looks like that exciting prospect is GONE. Oh no. Two of the three things on my birthday wishlist have gone horribly horribly the other way. We lost BIG BEAR and now we don't get Jason Smith.

GASP!

Let me change my request.

PLEASE DON'T SIGN DANIEL PAILLE. I HATE HIM AND HIS TOTALLY NON-ADORABLY VACANT FACIAL EXPRESSIONS. I DID NOT FIND IT AT ALL INSPIRING THAT WHENVER HE WAS BENCHED LAST SEASON HE CAME BACK WITH A VENGEANCE AND BLEW US ALL AWAY. DON'T SIGN HIM. SHIP HIM TO OUTER MONGOLIA FOREVER. I DIDN'T LOVE WATCHING HIM SCORE 2 GOALS IN ONE GAME IN THE VERY LAST ROW OF HSBC ARENA WHERE I WAS DRUNK AND YELLED AT KOTALIK A FEW MONTHS BACK. THAT WASN'T TOTALLY AWESOME AT ALL. HE IS NOT MY 2ND FAVORITE SABRE. GET HIM AWAY FROM HERE!

Was that thorough enough, Hockey Gods?

Do you think anyone will review this off-season's moves and decide that losing Steve Bernier really affected the Buffalo Sabres? God I hope not.

6 comments:

  1. I DIDN'T LOVE WATCHING HIM SCORE 2 GOALS IN ONE GAME IN THE VERY LAST ROW OF HSBC ARENA WHERE I WAS DRUNK AND YELLED AT KOTALIK A FEW MONTHS BACK.

    I think I was with you when that happened...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes. It was the Devils game in uhhh January??

    ReplyDelete
  3. Damn it! I was going to offer Big Bear an offer sheet... to be my personal Bear and snuggler. Stupid St Louis beat me to it and stupid Vancouver matched it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Steve is suddenly Mr. Popularity around the NHL, now isn't he!

    I wish you guys had gotten Jason Smith too! He's tough, bad-ass, generally awesome, and could have been an old d-man BFF for Craig Rivet. God, why couldn't your GM see the logic there??? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Soph - there's only one thing left to do, try to find a way to justify moving to Vancouver to continue your love for Big Bear. I'm in school so I can't, but I'll totally catch up with him if he migrates back east sometime.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Jess - We still have plenty of old defencemen for him to become BFFs with, Jaro Spacek might be 50 and Toni Lydman is actually a pod person, so his age is totally insignificant. And Teppo is so old and defencemanly, will make Rosie (the Riveter, I'm thinking of trying that nickname out to see if it sticks with me) feel like he's in preschool again. But that doesn't mean I wanted Jason Smith any less!!!

    ReplyDelete

Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


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