Thursday, August 7, 2008

Brett's a Jet

by Anne

I'm sure I am not the first or the last person to come up with a WITTY title like that one, but its true.

So Mr. Favre is now a New York Jet. Great, in our division. AWESOME. WE HAVE ENOUGH TROUBLE WITH THE PATRIOTS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I can't handle how weird this makes me feel. I love Brett Favre, and I like the Green Bay Packers because of him. I'm not going to act like I followed the Packers extensively because that's just not true but they're always my NFC playoff team. If its going to be weird for ME to see Brett in a Jets uniform, I can't IMAGINE how weird and upsetting it'll be for Packers fans.

Stay strong Green Bay! It'll all be A-OK in the end! I bet Aaron Rodgers is even BETTER than Brett Favre! (maybe if we keep saying that we'll believe it)

Every news outlet was saying the following:

"Brett Favre will DEFINITELY going to Tampa Bay. It is all but GUARANTEED that Brett Favre will be the Bucs starting quarterback this season. WHEN WILL BRETT FAVRE GO TO TAMPA BAY?!?! Oh, but the Jets are interested too."

So I was like "Ha, I bet he goes to the Jets" because they were always an afterthought and HA he did.

Oh Brett, you kind of make me sad, but here's hoping this all turns out for the best in the end. (fingers crossed)

No hockey for today, there's nothing new to say about anything that I care about. Ryan Clowe signed an extension with San Jose, is this a good thing? Do people care? I'm so out of the loop now that the season is over that I don't know. Although this season I became much more familiar with the Western Conference, before this season I couldn't have named more than like 2 players on any Western Conference team. I'm doing a little better now. Not GREAT but I know a little bit more about the left coast.

Here's some more stuff about me, BRACE YOURSELVES FOR A WILD RIDE:

74. I have really sensitive skin I get razor burn if I think about shaving my legs too much. Schick Intuition: BEST RAZOR EVER. Good thing I'm not a boy, I'd have perma-5 o'clock shadow probably

73. It drives me insane when a song or artist isn't capitalized properly on my iTunes and I take extra care to go through every single song so it looks right... yet my room is a pigsty

72. I own about 3 articles of clothing with a print, I wear solid colors about 95% of the time

71. I have 2 Sabres phone numbers. One I got from work and one I literally accidentally found online. Once in a bar (I think I talked about this when it happened) a guy offered me Paul Gaustad's phone number, I declined, that's weird even for me

70. I don't care how perfect a man he is, if he's a lawyer, I won't go out with him

69. When I was about 12, my laundry room door broke, locking me in there for like 45 minutes until my dad could get the door off the hinges. My mom thought I was kidding around. When I initially turned the knob and the door wouldn't move, I thought my sister was leaning on it to keep me in there

68. Three days in a row this week I've tried to see Wall-e and all three times the plans fell through. First my sister decided she didn't feel like going, the next night her rehearsal dragged on and then my BFF broke up with his boyfriend, so I've decided there are cosmic forces keeping me from seeing Wall-e and I shouldn't interfere

67. In eighth grade I won the school spelling bee. My winning word was "ludicrous"

66. Currently my favorite song is "Monkey Man" by Amy Winehouse

65. My upper arms are incredibly sensitive, like pushing on them as hard as you would to dial a phone hurts a lot and they bruise incredibly easily

64. I have nothing but high hopes for Britney Spears

63. I get really really disturbed and upset by gory or violent movies. I can't stand watching someone be killed or tortured on film. I can disassociate myself from a movie if the acting is terrible, but special effects are so realistic these days that I even if I don't believe anything about a movie, I get as grossed out by blood and guts as if it were real. Yet I enjoy watching Adam Mair beat someone's face in

62. My least favorite word is "creamy" especially when spoken by someone who chooses to make their hard "c" sounds in the back of their throat and its all phlegmy and wet sounding. YUCK

61. I just splurged and ate like 5 brownies and now I feel kind of sick

60. My favorite Disney movie of all time is the Sword in the Stone

59. I've read at least 4 books about Queen Elizabeth I. She fascinates me. I got a little emotional when I visited her grave site when I was 15, yes I am a huge loser

58. Marlon Brando in Streetcar Named Desire is like the sexiest thing I've ever seen on film. I don't enjoy violent abusive men, but he's completely sexy in that movie

57. When I was a teenager I couldn't understand why women appreciated a nice behind on a guy. Then in college I started to hang around extremely straight men who danced and wore very tight dance pants and I saw the light. Pictures like this that I stole from Katie completely distract me:

One of Poz's many good sides


56. .........Wait, what were we talking about? Oh right, things about yours truly. Whenever I go out, its extremely likely that if a man is going to hit on me, he's probably going to be black or latino, its the booty

55. Speaking of which, on Cinco de Mayo, a latino soldier named Anthony offered to fly me to Staten Island to "visit" him. He described a few things we'd do on this "visit" in great detail. I took his number but deleted it the next morning because he was leaving Buffalo anyway. PHEW

54. Throughout my 4 years of college I shared a living space (rooms and apartments) with 11 different people most of them were from Buffalo but one was from Las Vegas and one was from Nigeria

53. As is typical of most females, I have 2 boys names and 2 girls names selected for my future spawn, I hope I don't have more than 2 of either, then I'm screwed

52. I have no problem killing bugs or dealing with spiders, but when my fish died in like October my sister and I freaked out because we had to pick him up off the floor of her room (my cat knocked over the bowl which was in MK's room) we were 24 and 22 at the time but we were running around the apartment squealing, shuddering, and making deals with God and with each other about what we'd do if the other one would just pick up the damn fish. We even called our Dad to try to get him to come over to our apartment and pick it up. In the end, I had to pick it up with my kitty litter scooper and in return I got dinner and a tank of gas

51. I hate washing the dishes so much I will do basically anything to avoid it. I would rather scrub a toilet with a toothbrush than wash the dishes. I have no idea why, I just really really really hate doing the dishes. Almost any other chore is fine with me, but washing the dishes really annoys me

I'm sure you're all reeling from writing down all these important tidbits about me. None of which are appropriate for Christmas presents, but I'm sure you'll use your intuition and come up with something for me.

For some reason, there is an ad for a telenovela on Telemundo on the top of the Sabres website. What an excellent way to start the day.


Oh yes, and:





HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY SIDNEY CROSBY!!!!


Number 87 can legally drink alcohol in his adopted city of Pittsburgh now. Hooray! Yay!! Perhaps there is some residual playoff love left for Mr. Crosby after all...

7 comments:

  1. I have nothing but high hopes for Britney Spears

    SERIOUSLY I KNOW GIRLFRIEND IS GOING TO MAKE A COMEBACK!!

    I don't care I still love her. I can't wait for my super sexy "Toxic" Britney to come back!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. It drives me insane when a song or artist isn't capitalized properly on my iTunes and I take extra care to go through every single song so it looks right... yet my room is a pigsty

    Word. I'm a slob but I'm completely anal about my iTunes set-up.

    ReplyDelete
  3. So Mr. Favre is now a New York Jet

    Wait, WHAT?!

    74. Same here.
    57. Yum.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anne, did you know that you have Ryane Clowe (I don't know why so many "e"s...) to thank for getting to have Big Bear, even if it was only for a few months. He made Steve expendable...

    ReplyDelete
  5. I hate washing the dishes so much I will do basically anything to avoid it.

    OMG Me too! I absolutely hate washing dishes, I will bargain with my dad ("Heeeey, do you need some clothes washed or anything?") to get out of it!

    ReplyDelete
  6. washing dishes sucks. but laundry is worse.

    #52= absofrickinlutely hilarious!

    my legs hate the razor as well. especially the tops of my legs. they really don't like razorness. I can't use an electric razor for that reason. (but of course I'm super pale and my hair is super dark so I can't really get away with not shaving for too long. yuck!)

    And Mr. Favre bugs me because he pronounces his name wrong! It should be Fah-Vray but he says FAR-ve. Annoying.

    that's all. for now. heh. love the list, keep 'em comin!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Crosby will be washing dishes if he cant get his team to rally

    ReplyDelete

Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


Disclaimer, yo.

Almost all of our pictures are borrowed from other sources. If they're yours and you don't want us to use them, just shoot us an email and we'll take them down.

We have nothing to do with the Buffalo Sabres, the National Hockey League or the actual "Sabretooth's House" located in HSBC Arena, we're just borrowing the name. If anyone is offended by anything we've written, get over it, it's a personal blog, not an accredited news source.

anniebeeswax [at] gmail [dot] com

ColorJunction