Monday, September 8, 2008

I Really Love Fall

by Anne


Fall is my favorite season. I love September. I love the cooler temperatures, I love wearing hoodies and jackets and boots, I love apple picking, crunchy leaves, going back to school and fashion week. September also brings us those most magical of all things: the NHL pre-season and the start of the NFL season, and the Buffalo Bills made their debut quite memorable.

34-10?? WOW. I certainly didn't see that one coming. I think my prediction was 21-17 Bills and, yeah I was just wrong. Matt Hasselbeck was sacked at least 5 times and the Seahawk's first 6 or 7 possessions were punts by their terrible punter with an equally terrible name. Plackemeier. What an awful name. He's no Ashton Youboty or Felton Huggins, who, incidentally was sent to the practice squad. Boooooooo. Felton Huggins is such an awesome name.

The Bills' defense was solid, special teams rocked it out (did you see that wacky return by Roscoe Parrish?) and the offense delivered a solid performance. Can't ask for much more than that. Remember like 6 years ago our special teams were like the worst in the NFL and couldn't return a punt to save their lives? Yeah, not no more.

The Bills haven't been 1-0 in like 5 years or something redonkulous like that, so this start has to feel good. Jacksonville is next week and they're coming off a 17-10 loss to Tennessee. Let's see if the Bills can carry this momentum into next week and shake the confidence of the Jags. Wooooo!

Oh Tom Brady. I don't like you but I really don't want you to be hurt. He was hit low and totally messed up his knee. Knee injuries are so dicey and range from needing to be stretched out on the sideline between drives to requiring major surgery. Early pre-MRI reports have him out for the entire season. That sucks. Ok, well, its good for the Bills because they're in our division, but bad for the NFL. If the Patriots start sucking without him and start losing, people will wonder if they still would've been bad without Brady. Although Tom Brady isn't that entire team, there's still a solid corps of players left, but it goes without saying how big of a loss his leadership will be. Ugh. I'd say I'm 70% glad that the Patriots will be less of a threat and the other 30% is still glad but feels bad that its because its because Brady is out. I'd rather Brady was still in and all of a sudden was just terrible and threw like 15 interceptions a game and cried every time and Giselle broke up with hi because he's a pansy. Yeah, that'd be pretty sweet. Let's make that last part happen anyway, shall we?

I'm sorry, but can I just say:





What? Commentary? Oh, that's all I had to say. I think that picture speaks for itself.

On to hockey, shall we?

For the 30 days leading up to the start of the season, TSN has been doing a daily breakdown of each of the 30 teams. The Sabres day was today. It doesn't say anything that we as die hard fans didn't already know. Fans of other teams will get a feel for the rest of the league, but it doesn't offer any staggering insight into the Sabres that we haven't been hearing all off season long. These are pretty cursory previews and a look back at last season. Like most people he acknowledges that last season was bad with the loss of Briere and Drury, but the offense wasn't really the problem and this season will probably be better. How much better? He, like the rest of us says its hard to say, and the Sabres are a team to watch. That's right, buddy boy.

NHL.com has kindly decided to point out that Roysie was 6th in the conference and 9th in NHL in points scored on home ice last season. Awww, good boy Derek!!! It's so amazing how much I can love Derek Roy on the ice (he's like my #7 favorite) but how much I roll my eyes at him off the ice, which is what keeps him out of the top 5.



Grrrr. Rough and tough little goal scoring Roysie.
Much love.


Seriously?
What is the design on that shirt?
It's like Lady Justice and a skeleton fairy sneaking up behind her.
Is Roysie making some kind of commentary on the state of our nation's justice system?
Is he saying that the legal system of the United States is a corrupt antequated institution?
Should we take this to mean that Derek Roy is untrusting of authority?
Did a cute salesgirl at ExpressMen tell Derek it would look cute on him, so he bought it?
Is that a shell man necklace?
Unless this picture was actually taken in Hawaii (which is plausible considering the leis), no man should be caught wearing shells around his neck.
Ok, well if this was in Hawaii how would random girls know who he was?


I think that for the purposes of self preservation, I will declare that Derek Roy does not exist to me when not in full Sabres gear.

To illustrate:


Derek Heathcliff Roy*


Some toolshed

*As per usual, I imagine Derek Roy's middle name is NOT Heathcliff, just like Ryan Miller's middle name is probably not Horatio and Nathan Gerbe's 2nd middle name is probably not Augustus, nor do I think he even has a second middle name, but until anyone can produce documentation to assure me that these assumptions are incorrect, I shall continue to come up with middle monikers that suit my fancy.

14 comments:

  1. So I was looking at the picture of Roy with the crazy shirt with the Justice Fairy on it, and I got this feeling like it was really familiar... So I was looking through my pictures and apparently when I met Kyle McLaren (one of Jess and my favs)he was also rocking THE SAME EXACT SHIRT...

    Roy must REALLY be the sole fashonista in the NHL...

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  2. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. THAT IS SO AWESOME. WHEN WAS THAT PICTURE TAKEN?!?! WE MUST HAVE ANSWERS! THIS IS THE BEST PICTURE CONFIRMATION OF ROYSIE'S FASHIONISTA SIDE OF ALL TIME. SOPH AND JESS, FTW!!

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  3. Heathcliff? I think that suits him more than I can explain.

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  5. Uh, I think that picture is from the beginning of March. Are we trying to find out who had the shirt first?

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  6. Heathcliff? I think that suits him more than I can explain.

    I just usually type the first off the wall name that comes into my head. The gods tell me these things. Haha. Derek Roy is such a source of merriment.

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  7. Uh, I think that picture is from the beginning of March. Are we trying to find out who had the shirt first?

    Mostly I'm trying to figure out where its from, so if its from that far back I'll probably have trouble locating in online. Curses!! lol. You didn't happen to check the tag in the collar did you? Security too tight? Shoot.

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  8. Unfortunately Anne, Kyle is a good foot and some taller then me, so if I was going to sneak a peak at the label I would have to climb him like he was a jungle gym.

    Speaking of the quest for finding hockey player's clothing, Jess and I have wanted to know where we could find a pair of Big Bear's jeans that have been dubbed "STEVE'S BIG-BUTT JEANS!!!!!". I swear they give him some serious junk in the trunk.

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  9. Anne you never cease to amuse me. I think every hockey player in the world (or at least a lot of the ones I've known) have pictures like that one of Royzie with girls hanging on them in some random bar, with our without leis. He was on myspace and saw that everyone else had that pic so he had to get one too!

    And i think Heathcliff is the perfect random middle name for Mr. Roy. I love it. And I love that picture of him. Where did you find it? I think that's going to be my new desktop background. Mmm.

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  10. Unfortunately Anne, Kyle is a good foot and some taller then me, so if I was going to sneak a peak at the label I would have to climb him like he was a jungle gym.

    What? Do you HONESTLY think Kyle McClaren would object to having women LITERALLY crawling all over him? I think NOT.

    Jess and I have wanted to know where we could find a pair of Big Bear's jeans that have been dubbed "STEVE'S BIG-BUTT JEANS!!!!!". I swear they give him some serious junk in the trunk.

    Seriously, he is like the most oddly built athlete of all time. In one shot he looks all lean and foxy and in the next he looks all bloated and like he just wants to curl up with Ben, Jerry and The Notebook.

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  11. He was on myspace and saw that everyone else had that pic so he had to get one too!

    I think he's been taking too many pointers from Tim Connolly. Perhaps Roysie should listen to Timmy less and Timmy should consult Roysie more for fashion insights.

    Where did you find it? I think that's going to be my new desktop background. Mmm.

    I stole it from someone's Webshots account when looking for a good example of Roysie's off-ice attire. I really couldn't have asked for a better example of the Clark Kent side of Derek Roy.

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  12. Don't have documentation, but I know for shiz that Gerbe-Gerbs was confirmed into the Catholic church at BC. One of my friends who was confirmed with him said he picked the name David. Therefore, he probably does have another name. It may be Augustus, but we may never know. BTDubs, for the rest of his BC career he went to church every Sunday alone. I must admit it was a kinda cute.

    And yes I am MollyBC who on and off has continued to read this blog creepily without commenting. I feel sometimes that you are to the Sabres as I am to the Red Sox/some BC sports.

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  13. BTDubs, for the rest of his BC career he went to church every Sunday alone. I must admit it was a kinda cute.

    Awwww Gerb Dogg! I haven't given him much play lately but I think about where he'll end up next season a lot. I assume he'll start in Portland but I wonder how far down the list of call ups he'll be? Awww Gerbe Derby.

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  14. Don't have documentation, but I know for shiz that Gerbe-Gerbs was confirmed into the Catholic church at BC. One of my friends who was confirmed with him said he picked the name David. Therefore, he probably does have another name. It may be Augustus, but we may never know. BTDubs, for the rest of his BC career he went to church every Sunday alone. I must admit it was a kinda cute.

    I find that so great. Gerbe and I are getting married! I can look him in the eye (wooohoo short guys!) he likes PAVEL BURE and he's Catholic? What more could anyone ask for? LOL

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Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


Disclaimer, yo.

Almost all of our pictures are borrowed from other sources. If they're yours and you don't want us to use them, just shoot us an email and we'll take them down.

We have nothing to do with the Buffalo Sabres, the National Hockey League or the actual "Sabretooth's House" located in HSBC Arena, we're just borrowing the name. If anyone is offended by anything we've written, get over it, it's a personal blog, not an accredited news source.

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