Thursday, September 25, 2008

Pat Kaleta is a Crazy Kid and Don't Expect Craig Rivet and Tim Connolly to Become "Bros"

by Anne

You know what's the greatest feeling ever? Being desperate for a topic idea for a response paper and getting all stressed and then realizing THE PROFESSOR MOVED THE DUE DATE TO MONDAY SO YOU HAVE 2 EXTRA DAYS TO PERUSE THE SABRES' MEDIA GUIDE INSTEAD OF WRITING!!

Ok, we need to talk about Patty Kaleta



Kaltsy? Like, really? Did they not have a nickname for him so they just chopped off the end of his name an added a "sy" like everyone does?

I had to look up MXC. Apparently its like competitive Jackass only in teams. It, of course, airs on Spike TV. Its basically a comedy show or a parody of those types of shows, and it sounds like I'd either hate it or completely love it. I also don't think Morgan Freeman would appear on it... I'm just sayin' Patty. Oh, and he HAS to be different and say "rice" everyone else says "Chicken and pasta" but not Patty, he has to be particular. Someone said Spaghetti Bolognese though, I don't remember who this connoisseur of carbohydrates was, but I don't think we'd get along. WHOOPS it was TEPPO. J/K TEPPS! WE CAN STILL BE BFFS!!!

Thanks for continuing to thwart me, Ales Kotalik. I was really hoping to get a fun nickname. "Al" is NOT fun. He also lists "Californication" as his favorite karaoke song. Let's just pause and reflect for a moment, shall we?

this man:



Singing this song:




Every player seems to love U2 and has a different concert they liked going to. Petey and Britney both enjoyed the U2 concert at HSBC. Think they went together? Double date? Just the two of them? They don't seem like they'd be BFFs but I'M OK WITH PLAYERS FORGING NEW FRIENDSHIPS!!!! Maybe Petey was trying to make Royzie jealous by hanging out with his line mate. BOOYA.

Also!! Craig Rivet lists one of his pet peeves as "cockiness and arrogance". Errrrr, I think you'll be mostly ok on that front, buuuuuut you maaaaayy want to steer clear of a few of your less enlightened teammates. Don't expect "Rivs" to be calling up TimmyHo for late night poker games and trips to Spot Coffee.

Even though he says he's happy here, in all his interviews I really get the feeling Craig Rivet is not happy in Buffalo. :( Rosie!!! Don't worry!! Be happy!!



This face seems to encompass how Rosie feels about Buffalo
"eh."

Apparently, according to the media guide, I've been spelling "Millsy" and "Royzie" all wrong. I will endeavor to correct my spelling errors, boys. I'm SURE Ryan Miller was writing a strongly worded email to me as of this writing. Sorry boys! I'll do better, I promise!!!

6 comments:

  1. Anne...do yourself a favor and watch MXC sometime. It's hilarious. It's a Japanese-based game show where they do all these crazy stunts but it's been dubbed in English with the people saying ridiculous things. It's hilariously bizarre.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kaltsy is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. How do you even say that? If they're not going to be creative, they can't just call him Patty or something? PK? Killer? Something.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anne...do yourself a favor and watch MXC sometime. It's hilarious. It's a Japanese-based game show where they do all these crazy stunts but it's been dubbed in English with the people saying ridiculous things. It's hilariously bizarre.

    I wish I had cable so I could!!! It sounds like a pretty hilarious time. Maybe Pat and I can hang out and watch it?!?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kaltsy is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. How do you even say that?

    It doesn't even sound like his name, I literally had to sound it out. If pronouncing a nickname requires more effort than just saying the person's actual name, then that nickname is lame and should be disregarded.

    ReplyDelete
  5. MXC:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_QXK-cz9vg&feature=related

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEP99e1nQDI&feature=related

    Right you are Ken!

    Kaleta should be the Fresh Prince in honor of the song that was written for him in that WGR contest. If he doesn't go by The Kaleta!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Tick,

    I was right, I LOVE THIS SHOW. I could not stop laughing when that woman like missed the paper doors and had to come back and like half hopped into a door that wouldn't open. "She's a vision tester for the DMV..."

    ReplyDelete

Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


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