Monday, January 26, 2009

Mid-Day Post

by Anne

I’m writing this sitting in an empty hallway in a building at Buff State. My last class was in room 215 in this building and my next one is in an hour in 115. I don’t feel like going outside where its ridiculously cold, so here I sit and wait for the next 56 minutes. Or at least until the class that’s in 115 lets out and I can go chill in there and wait. I considered joining the class that’s in there now, but opted against it considering I have absolutely no idea what class it is, and I’m afraid the professor might do a “let’s go around the room and tell everyone about why we’re taking advanced studies in biothermal engineering and briefly discuss our thesis topics.” My escape plan was just to repeat whatever the person said before me. Hopefully that person wouldn’t have been an exchange student from China. I’m pretty good at convincing people of things, but to convince someone I’m Chinese may be beyond even my powers of persuasion.

People keep looking at me like I must be lost, sitting in this random chair. Hahaha.

Why do couples feel the need to play tonsil hockey between classes? This isn’t high school. I bet you have a convenient dorm room or apartment or parent’s basement where you can go touch each other in ways that are inappropriate for public viewing. Ok, this might just be me but I am vehemently against public displays of affection that go past hugging or hand holding or a casual hand on the back or shoulder. I do not want to watch you swap spit or lay all over each other because you’re just SO IN LOVE and you COMPLETE each other and you HAVE TO press your bodies against each other at least for a MOMENT before class starts. Unless you are standing in a church or courthouse or city hall and some sort of officiant has just said “you may now kiss the bride” public kissing is just kind of awkward for those not involved. Are we supposed to watch? Are we supposed to look away? Just don’t leave me with these questions and uncertainties and I’ll be appreciative. And, by all means, get your swerve on, do your thang, do whatevs when I’m not around. Unless we’re dating. Then wait til I get there.

Imaginary Canadian hockey player boyfriend is in my 9:00 am class and he came in late and the only available seat was next to me. I pretended not to see him. He’s still pretty. Ok, let me clarify, the gentleman himself is not imaginary, but our torrid romance is contained entirely within my brain. Its a good time. I should hope all of your relationships are half as pleasant as ours. We never fight and he always brings me flowers and tells me I have pretty eyes and am an amazing cook.

I had his whole post written about how lame hockey stories are but I’m not posting it. Its too negative. Basically, I’ll just sum it up by saying I would’ve rather read a story about Mikkel Boedker and Thomas Vanek being the first players to represent their native countries in the All-Star Game and what that says about the NHL and European hockey players and how these days we just accept them as being there but it actually wasn’t always the case, kind of like wearing helmets and the presence of Chris Chelios. Instead I get an article about how Shane Doan and Carey Price are 8th cousins 12 or 13 times removed, that Shea Weber triumphed over adversity by tricking his genes into making him taller and Marty St. Louis had to drive into Canada from Vermont because one of his kids is an illegal alien or something. Basically I don’t find familial ties in the NHL all that interesting. It is of no concern to me that there are 45 Sutters in the NHL, a handful of Staals and a couple of Lundqvists. Also? The children of former NHLers, slightly more interesting, but still, not so much. Its kind of to be expected that an extremely talented hockey player would produce more of the same, and siblings tend to share similar interests and talents sometimes. I would be WAY more interested in reading about a hockey player born to astrophysicists or a lesbian couple from San Francisco; now THAT’S different.

Dude. Its 20 degrees. Why are you wearing shorts?

So the director of that reading has not returned my call, so if she still needs me, I will most likely be unavailable. Aw shucks. I was supposed to run a workshop tonight anyway.

A girl just picked up the empty chair next to me and moved it across the hall so we would not have to sit next to each other and ignore each other, now we must sit across the hall and concentrate on avoiding eye contact. Brilliant move, chicky poo. Thank goodness for iPods.

I’m going to be in college forever. I won’t be done with school until at least Fall 2010, possibly as late as Spring 2011. The typical college student who started college the year after I was finished with my first go-round will be graduating at the same time as me. Although, you’d totally hire the more experienced, two degree carrying 25 almost 26 year old before you’d hire the 22 year old, right?!

Anyway, I miss real hockey.

4 comments:

  1. I can't stand it when people in my school are making out in the middle of the hallway. I go to school to learn and talk to my friends, not to get a free look at a peep show that's going on. I would think some people could lay off of each other for 6-7 hours until they get to the confines of their own home.

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  2. I feel like the whole let's kiss in the hallway thing was way bigger in high school. Then again, I do have all of my classes in the nursing building which probably only has about 6 guys in it at any given time.

    Random Note: Gerbe definitely has a concussion. He was at Boston College yesterday for some Hockey East celebration and I saw him eating lunch with his buddies today. Later he and the BC Hockey Team (along with lots of other people) watched the Washington Capitals practice at BC. Unlike Ovechkin, Gerbe stayed for the whole practice.

    More Random Note: Apparently you can't get Ovechkin's autograph unless you ask him in Russian and/or have him sign on a Russian flag.

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  3. IT WAS SO FREEZING AT BUFF STATE TODAY. It's so windy on campus for some reason. I'll be walking on Elmwood and I'm like, "Wow the weather isn't so bad." and then I get on campus and the wind is ridiculous.

    And I totally agree with you about people making out in public. I don't mind an innocent kiss or anything like that, but when people are totally going at it, I always found it juvenile and nasty.

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  4. Tell them to get a dorm room!

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Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


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