Thursday, January 15, 2009

When The Sabres Fail, The Pirates Entertain

by Anne

In times of bleak Sabres hockey, I oft turn to our AHL affiliate to give me something to smile about, and the Portland Pirates have come through in the clutch.

Here's the entire press release:

Jimmy Bonneau and Derek Whitmore are COOKIN'

Portland, Maine - On Thursday, January 15th be sure to watch “207” on WCSH-6 for a special cooking segment featuring Pirates forwards Derek Whitmore and Jimmy Bonneau. The show, hosted by Rob Caldwell airs live at 7:00 p.m.

The two players will share the recipe for the official lasagna of the Portland Pirates.

Can't watch it live? Check back for the streaming video at a later date.

THE OFFICIAL LASAGNA OF THE PORTLAND PIRATES?! Minor league hockey is so much more entertaining than the NHL. There's the team that had the Scott Hartnell Glove and Mitten toss to mock Scott Hartnell throwing his glove at Ryan Malone on a breakaway, another team that honored the Lions 0-16 season by allowing free or discounted admission to anyone who had 016 in their driver's license or social security number, and now, official lasagna. I can't wait to watch the video later. Alack and fie, I do not live in Portland Maine and cannot enjoy the video live. CURSES!

But if YOU live in Portland, Maine, you can have your very own glass of Salty Pete Porter at Gritty McDuff's Portland Brew Pub at 396 Fore Street. A beer to honor the team mascot. Where's our Sabretooth Stout, Pearl Street?!

At least we can find solace in Portland.


  1. I think I'm going to move to Portland. Care to join?

  2. I have loved Jimmy and Derek ever since the preseason morning skate Cari and I went to and now I get to gaze upon them in appreciation as they make one of my favorite foods. I'm in love and Cari I will move with you to Portland anytime.

  3. Hockey Players that are attractive and can cook.... nothing's better than that!

  4. Cari, I'm moving to Portland with you.

    Why the heck don't the Sabres do cooking segments on AM Buffalo, or something?!

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Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny

Disclaimer, yo.

Almost all of our pictures are borrowed from other sources. If they're yours and you don't want us to use them, just shoot us an email and we'll take them down.

We have nothing to do with the Buffalo Sabres, the National Hockey League or the actual "Sabretooth's House" located in HSBC Arena, we're just borrowing the name. If anyone is offended by anything we've written, get over it, it's a personal blog, not an accredited news source.

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