Friday, May 8, 2009

Live Blogging the Semifinals: USA v. Russia

by Anne


I'm stealing Katebits' awesome format to do a liveblog of sorts of today's semifinal game between the United States and Russia. I hope Katebits does not mind as flattery is the sincerest form of imitation... no wait, you can lead a horse to water but you can't fold a piece of paper in half more than seven times. Yes. That's it. Watch the game with me, won't you?

Pregame

Mood: A little stressed because I'm attempting to finish a terrible paper that has to be electronically submitted by noon. Oh, the game? I'm feeling a sense of "Now we get to play for bronze!" (which is what happens if we lose today, FYI).

Favorite American: Robert Esche. I covet him from afar.

Least Favorite American: Peter Harrold. He seems useless

Prediction: Uhhh this is not going to go well for the United States. This USA team has already surprised me and this year's Russian team is without Ovechkin and Nabokov but, come on. According to some article that I didn't read on the IIHF website, history favors the United States. Really? I predict Russia wins 6-2.

College Tradition that represents how I feel this game will go: Final exam for the class I didn't attend on a consistent basis and forgot about the exam until 10 minutes before


I definitely shouldn't have been drinking the morning before this test

After the First (0-0)

Mood: Cautiously optimistic. We actually OUT SHOT the Russians in that period! There's no play by play so I feel like I'm jsut sitting in the stands watching the game. Good?

Favorite American: Patrick O'Sullivan literally shot Ilya Kovalchuk's stick straight up into the air and did not get a whistle for it. Awesome

Least Favorite American: Kyle Okposo

College tradition representing the game thus far: The Frat Party


You managed to escape without being puked on or date-raped. So far, so good.

After the Second (2-2)

Mood:This game has been very topsy turvy. After pretty much dominating the first, the USA started to look like they were going down for the count, but a late Russian penalty gave the USA a power play goal.

Favorite American: Dustin Brown. First for opening the scorind and 2nd for attempting to open-ice hit Ilya Kovalchuk and knocking yourself over instead

Least Favorite American: Still Kyle Okposo. I know he scored and all but he just looks like that annoying kid that no one on the team likes because he talks to much and cries when he gets hit in the face in dodgeball

College Tradition representing this game so far: The one friend with a car


Remember Freshman year when only the annoying girl across the hall had wheels and you needed to go to the store?
I mean, it wasn't THAT bad, but you didn't really LOVE doing it

End of the Game, Final score: Russia 3 USA 2

Mood: Disappointed. They played better than I thought they would but a late power play goal by Russia squashed their chances to advance to the gold medal game. They play either Canada or Sweden for bronze on Sunday. Loser goes home with nada.

Favorite American: David Backes. Just cuz.

Least Favorite American:
Kyle Okposo. I stand by my convictions. Even though he was named the game's best player, he still annoys me.

College Tradition representing the game as a whole:
Surprise! Mom came to visit and your apartment is a disaster


Just when you were enjoying your semester BOOM!
Mom comes over and has a heart attack over your messy place and you have to clean it

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Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


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