Friday, June 12, 2009

Welcome Aboard, Paul Byron

by Anne

Ok, so I've clearly reached critical mass of boredom, I'm finally welcoming Paul Byron aboard the SS Buffalo FailShip.

Here is all the pertinent information I could Google or Wikipedia or Youtube about Paul Byron:

  • Born April 27, 1989 in Ottawa (Booo and/or he and Royzie can swap hometown stories)
  • Drafted by the Sabres in the 6th round, 179th overall in 2007
  • Center, shoots left
  • Played in Junior hockey for the Gatineau Olympiques
  • This season he finished 4th in the entire QMJHL with 99 points (33+66) in 64 games
  • He's a tad on the wee side (great, another one) at his latest physical it appears Pauly was 5'9" 165 lbs. I think when he was drafted he was 5'8" 135 lbs. I don't know about you, but those stats just scream "NHL" to me
  • I thought I'd never find him on Facebook but we have 6 mutual friends so he popped up first when I searched his name. Phew?
  • I found some strange quote about his bacteria-ridden, smelly equipment. Here's the link I laughed fairly hard when I read it - first because its totally random and second because I'm really tired. Apparently Paul's gear no longer being bacteria-filled and smelly is what lead the Olympiques to win the Memorial Cup or something
  • He was the Boston Pizza CHL player of the week for the week of January 27, 2009. I'm sure this was his proudest achievement and I hope he got a golden pizza for his troubles
  • Seriously, I'm sure Paul Byron is a great hockey player, but I really could handle reading an article about how beastly and huge and muscular a Sabres prospect is. I could do without reading another article about our tiny prospects. Whatevs, good on, ya Paul.
  • According to that article, he seems to have been cut from like every team he has tried out for before Gatineau. Uhhh...?
  • I'm just going to pretend he's the next Royzie and call it a day.
  • You can listen to him do a smack-talk style radio ad for something called Greco's here

Here's Paul in his peroxide phase, and
Welcome Aboard!

1 comment:

  1. I'm from Gatineau and he's a fantastic hockey player... Look at him play... After that, you will see if there is any reason to be so "funny".


Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny

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