Thursday, January 24, 2008

Fo. Sho.

By Anne

I cannot recall a recent NHL game that went into overtime that did NOT go into a shootout. I'm sure there are some, but I have not watched any of them. I've seen them in the past, of course, but in recent games I feel as though they've ALL been shoot outs. I hate shootouts. Basically it's a "which ever team has the goaltender that's harder to trick wins". What a shocker- Luongo won it for the Canucks in the shootout. Should've picked Hasek for my Mr. Zero though. He lasted almost the entire game with no goals. CURSE YOU LUONGO! No! WAIT! I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO CURSE PEOPLE! I mean: well done Roberto, trying to give the Blues some confidence by letting those 2 in. Good job. You're so great. I wish you nothing but health wealth and happiness with the new baby!

::Looks around shifty eyed for NHLPA reps....(I think I'm safe)::

Tonight 26 of the NHL's teams will be playing. It's like the All-Star weekend is the final exams and they're cramming in tons of last minute study sessions in the days leading up to it.

The Sabres face the Dallas Stars tonight. The Stars are #2 in the West. We're #13 in the East, only 1 point up on the Lightning who are in last place. I can't talk about it. I'm not optimistic. I'm probably not going to watch. There are 2 new episdoes of Chuck on tonight. Chuck never makes me want to punch a baby. But he also doesn't make me swoon or squeal like a piglet when I see him.

The freakin' Leafs won again. If I have to give up my "at least we're better than the Leafs" mantra, things will not be pretty.

I've managed to make it many hours without maiming or dismembering an NHL hockey player. (Sorry, Tyler Kennedy! Mono's a bitch! Stop kissing random hussies!) But I can report that, through no fault of my own, Mr. Hit-'Em-From-Behind, Ilya Kovalchuk has been suspended for 1 game following his hit on Rozsival. Tsk tsk tsk Ilya, temper, temper. I still hope that picture is you even though it really doesn't look like you.

There really doesn't seem to be too much to report from the world of hockey this morning. I didn't watch any games so I couldn't curse any teams. My bad voodoo has had the reverse effect on the Toronto Maple Leafs. I say like two nice things about Jason Blake and the Leafs find themselves on a winning streak with a new -old- GM. With all those things I just said about Luongo- look out, Vancouver! Here comes the winning streak of the millenium!

In a totally non-sports related moment, the IT guys whose office I sit outside of are super excited today. Why? A new server perhaps? A systems upgrade? Nay. They are thrilled beyond words about the new urinal being installed in the men's bathroom as I type. They're having a debate over which guy on the floor should be allowed to use it first. Excellent. It's the little things in life that bring you joy. For example:

The kid on the right is Brad(y)* Murray. He, Staffy and Staffy's BFFL, Zachy P., lead team USA to their first gold medal at the World Juniors in 2004 by defeating Danny Pie-YAY who was Captain of Team Canada - oh well! I don't know who Brad(y)* Murray is, but if Staffy is friends with him then he's probably an ok dude. I don't know if Drew Stafford is a good judge of character or not, but as he's my favorite Sabre, I choose to give him the benefit of the doubt.
*Update: Ok so the person who posted this photo incorrectly labeled Brady Murray as Brad Murray, which is why I couldn't find out anything about him. If I were a crazy stalker of Staffy's life I probably would've known that. But as I am not, I don't feel shame. Brady Murray is part of the LA Kings organization. Well done, Brady.

There really is very little in life that makes me laugh more than pictures of people from when they were younger, especially professional athletes. (See earlier post regarding Derek Roy). Except, Zach Parise looks basically the same in that picture boooooo.
Ok, this makes up for it:

Intense. That paper never knew what hit it.

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Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny

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