Thursday, May 1, 2008

I have a pet Dragun

by Anne

Last night was a thoroughly disappointing night of hockey. I don't particularly care about the Habs/Flyers series, but I was disappointed to see Halak be handed a loss in his first start in the playoffs. I don't really know if it was a smart move to start him or not. He was rather apt to not control his rebounds. Carey Price definitely still has a starting job. Poor Carey, although in the sexiness category, he still has Halak beat by a mile...or 10.


And then the Stars had to go and NOT sweep the Sharks. Boooooooo. Now you have to go back to the Shark Tank. Where's Stu? He didn't play, it made me sad. Get better Stu! THEN COME BACK TO BUFFALO!




Phew, I actually have Sabres related things to talk about. Thank goodness. I can't pretend to give a hoot about the Habs for too much longer and I can kind of give a hoot about the Stars, but unless Pittsburgh is playing, it's all a charade. HOW CRAZY WOULD A PENS/FLYERS EASTERN CONFERENCE FINAL BE?


Anyhoot, Danny Pie-YAY was on the radio this morning talking about a 5K run he's hosting or whatevering on Saturday. If I felt like getting out of bed before noon on Saturdays, I might attend.


The run/walk goes down by the Marina, and they were of course trying to get him to point out where all the Sabres live down there. He declined. What? Why? You don't want to jeopardize the privacy of your teammates? Pfft.


It was mentioned that Roysie has a boat, let's sneak in and take the keys, we'll look the other way if you don't want us to know which house is his. He TOTALLY won't miss it, Pie-Z he's busy being sick and NOT having a paintball war with Marty St. Louis.


Then they asked if him Jay McKee was going to be there. This made me almost crash into the metal divider I was so carefully attempting to avoid while I parked. He wasn't sure if he was coming or not, he hadn't heard. Yo, I don't care if it's at 4:00 a.m. and I have to jog 3 miles in a gorilla suit, if JKee is there, I will TOTALLY go. Let's investigate this futher, Daniel and get back to me.


They were of course telling him how they missed the Sabres in the playoffs and Danny genuinely seemed to feel bad that they let the fans down. Awwwwwww. It's ok Danny, I don't think anyone's mad at you in particular. I know I'm not anyway.


He said that Montreal was his team when he was a kid, so maybe he can talk some sense into the Habs. I've always wondered how that feels to play against your former favorite team, are they still your favorite? Do you still want to beat them? How does it feel to play for a team you might previously have disliked or been indifferent to? Do you care at all or is it just exciting enough to be playing in the NHL?


Danny, don't just sit around and watch TBS all day...which he apparently does most days from 4:00 - 6:00. WOW. I get out of work at 5:00, let's go to the mall or something. I'm sure your fiancee won't mind. Speaking of which, Danny and Fiancee are getting married in July of 2009. How cute, he probably didn't want to conflict with Vanek and Petey's nuptials... or they wanted to take their sweet ass time planning the weddning. Anyway, oy, can I juggle ANOTHER platonic boyfriend? That's at least 4. I'll have to think about that one. Although, he would be my only PBF in Buffalo this summer, but things would get complicated when they're all back in town next season.


I am enjoying Marty's successes in the playoffs, but only Marty's sucesses, not the Flyers successes...and a little bit Danny Briere, but not a lot. S(h)ara told me a story about our friends little sister (and by little I mean she's like 20) who saw Danny Briere at Olive Garden last year and started to cry... Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah(gasp)hahahahhahahahahahahahahhahaha. Oh man, Rachel, I loved Danny Briere, but crying when you see him? That's totally righteous. That's emotional dedication. Were these big sloppy tears? Was there wailing? Granted, if I saw Danny Briere in Olive Garden in Buffalo now I might cry...and then recommend he leave as soon as possible, for his own safety.


Private to Paul Gaustad:

I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT STALKING YOU.

Love and 100 yards of personal space,

Anne


So I posted a lengthy post about the wacky (read: totally uneventful) evening I spent at the same bar as the Goose (sad I know, but he's ridiculously hot so I don't care) just a few days ago.


I, apparently, live around the corner from the Goose, but cannot ever recall seeing him around Buffalo before. I heard he enjoys hitting up a nearby coffee shop I also patronize, but never at the same time. SO, I'm standing in the prepared foods section at Wegman's debating if I want chicken or fish when I see this wicked tall guy standing next to me. For those who don't know me personally, wicked tall men are my weakness. Like the taller the better, Zdeno Chara...ok, maybe not him. Anyway, so I notice this gent, but don't want to be too obvious by checking him out, and besides I can only see his back, which, hey, wasn't anything to complain about. WINK. Then, he turns around and is tossing something and catching it which makes me look up, and YUP, it was Goose. I can't imagine he thought "that girl was at that bar the other night", but I still felt weird. So, I left prepared foods and went to produce. Soon after, Goose arrived, same thing happened in the dairy department. Haha. Whoops. But DAMN, he's even super hot having appeared to have not shaved since the dawn of time and wearing jeans and a hoodie. My friend Jenn of course insists that its fate and was pissed I didn't talk to him. Yo, what conversation could we have started at the fish counter at Wegman's?

Hey Paul! How's the sports hernia?

I like scallops too! We're so much alike! Let's go screw.

You're a foot taller than I am! And I'm wearing flats too! That's really great!

Your toenail is all black and blue, I noticed when I walked by and tried not to run it over. Gross, you should do something about that.

Do you think Wegman's frowns upon people doin' it on the olive bar?


Hmmmmm, I'm not sure how those would fly as openers. I mean, is there any casual way to start talking to someone who's clearly well known around these parts? Am I supposed to pretend I don't know who he is? Yeah, I'd be able to carry that off for about 25 seconds. I'm thinking starting to talk about hockey probably isn't they way to go. Here's a thought, maybe I could've just said HI. Damn. Such a clever opening line. I'm gonna just go ahead and wait til I run into him again...which now will never happen. Dang!

Sidenote: "Drew Stafford" (I don't know if its really him or not, that's not the point) and I are now friends on Facebook. The only reason I added him as a friend was so I could laugh at the "Anne and Drew Stafford are now friends" line in my newsfeed. Haha. I had this "FluffFriend" thing that was a pet dragon with really heavy eyebrows that I named Drew Stafford. On the offchance "Drew Stafford" is really Drew Stafford, I opted to change his name. Besdies, the novelty of having a pet dragon named after a hockey player had worn off. Now his name is Wesley like in the Princess Bride.

8 comments:

  1. I was reading this while on hold so I had to go back and re-read so I could fully process the awesomeness:

    AW, PIE!!!!!I LOVE HIM!!! The Man-Child!! Oh our little boy is all grown'd up!! How I heart him.

    um, Derek Roy owns a boat? First the personal assistant and now a boat? Who does he think he is? Magnum PI?

    Also you know it's weird I remember listening to an interview with Andrew Peters from not this past season but the season before, and they were talking about his clothes, and he was all, yeah well I'm single when I meet some girl and settle down I'll loosen up a bit. and then like he came back last season I read he was all engaged. Talk about fast!

    Also Part Deux re: Goose. seriously LOL LOL LOL LOL. I think it is awesome he stays in Buffalo. But you know he's another one who I thought was dating some girl from back home for like a bazillion years?? GOD I AM FULL OF FAIL WHEN IT COMES TO INFORMATION!!!!

    This is the price I pay for not living anywhere near Buffalo. I am so out of the loop. Le sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Do you think Wegman's frowns upon people doin' it on the olive bar?

    If Goose is involved, I think that "doin' it on the olive bar" is totally acceptable.

    ReplyDelete
  3. (a) I so want to walk 5k for the Sabres. My cousin did the Ride for Roswell because her friend had cancer and they met Kaleta.
    (b) I'm completely jealous of your Goose encounter.
    (c) >>MY DAD<< said something about Big Bear and his girlfriend that he's had for like 10 years came with him.

    ReplyDelete
  4. God, it feels like it's been so long since I've heard this much info about so many of our boys! Thanks for the update, Anne!!

    Why does it not surprise me that Royzie has a boat? It would also not surprise me if he named said boat after himself in honor of his prettiness (if you're reading this, Derek, I would totally name a boat in honor of your amazing fashion sense, too!)

    And if Jay "my first Sabre boyfriend" McKee is going to be there - I might have to wake up for that walk, too!

    And again, I cannot contain my jealousy that you have seen our shared "wannabe baby daddy" Goose not once but twice!! Looks like I need to head out of West Seneca more often!

    Staffy was on WGR this morning, but I didn't get to listen. Hopefully, he will give them an in-depth paintball recap!

    ReplyDelete
  5. MJ - Yeah I remember listening to that Petey interview from last season a couple months ago and I was like "I've MET his fiancee" that's weird.

    I cannot escape Goose. It's CLEARLY fate.

    Jenn - I think there's a clause in Wegman's rules. "If Paul Gaustad or any other smokin' hot Sabre is involved, doin't it in the store is permissible"

    Dani - Big Bear is my 2nd platonic SabreBoyfriend, I can respect that he has a girlfriend, as long as we can still hang out and eat poutine

    Katie - I, apparently have Goosedar, I just didn't realize it. I can't listen to WGR during the Sabres' season becuase it makes my stomach hurt, but I always miss exciting gems like that. Booooo.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I swear, that Wegmans must be Sabre Central. My mother saw Crunchy there in March, and as she put it, he was "tall, skinny and wearing the hell out of a pair of jeans."

    MJ, I can totally picture Roy-Z as Magnum PI. He can easily get the mustache from Staffy if he can't gow one himself.

    ReplyDelete
  7. aw I love the Princess Bride. I did the scene with the poison in the wine for a theatre class once. it was hilarious!

    And WOW can I please move to your part of town? I want to run into wicked hot tall men (aka GOOSE) all the time! I'd probably freak out (on the inside, I'm good at keeping it in) but it would be fun.

    and this made me LOL- But DAMN, he's even super hot having appeared to have not shaved since the dawn of time and wearing jeans and a hoodie. awesome.

    I had a similar experience with running into the same person twice in the grocery- some not really famous but still hot and awkward minor league players in Dayton a few years back. that was fun. and funny, but not as cool as a real live Sabre!

    :) thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Why does it not surprise me that Royzie has a boat? It would also not surprise me if he named said boat after himself in honor of his prettiness (if you're reading this, Derek, I would totally name a boat in honor of your amazing fashion sense, too!)

    Katie, it's funny you say that- I had an imaginary boat named after Royzie- my nephew and his friend were playing some random game involving pretend boats, and asked me to name one.. and I named it Derek Roy. It's a good name for a boat. ;)

    ReplyDelete

Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


Disclaimer, yo.

Almost all of our pictures are borrowed from other sources. If they're yours and you don't want us to use them, just shoot us an email and we'll take them down.

We have nothing to do with the Buffalo Sabres, the National Hockey League or the actual "Sabretooth's House" located in HSBC Arena, we're just borrowing the name. If anyone is offended by anything we've written, get over it, it's a personal blog, not an accredited news source.

anniebeeswax [at] gmail [dot] com

ColorJunction