Thursday, June 12, 2008

Award Predictions 2008

by Anne

I was going to do an entire post about my predictions for who the RIGHTFUL winners of each award would be, but then the adapter to my laptop broke and I got go drop 80 big ones on a new one and that saddened me so I went to bed instead.

So the awards show is 7:00 - 8:30 tonight.

If my grandpa's house was 1996, my parents' house is like 2002 with a little 1993 mixed in. We have DSL and wireless internet, but we do not have cable. I mean, we have like 13 channels but no Versus and no MSG. This, hopefully, will be remedied by the time pre-season games start.

However, until the situation is remedied, I am without. I cannot watch the Awards show in the comfort of my own home. I'll have to break into my sister's boyfriend's house to watch it. And by break in, I mean he gave me his security code... and I'm going to eat his Double Stuf Oreos and weep openly because Pommer's girlfriend is way hotter than I could ever dream to be. (I don't know if this is, in fact, true but one can only assume).

I will offer this prediction about the Hart:

Definitely JAROME. Why? It says most valuable player to his team. And what's valuable to a team besides wins, Cups, star players and moolah? FANS. And without J-ROME I NEVER WOULD'VE GIVEN A HOOT ABOUT THE CALGARY FLAMES. Therefore, it is CLEAR that my love and devotion is a VALUABLE asset to Jarome Iginla's TEAM. Therefore, Iggy should win.

LOVE. HIM.

Is this a shock? His baby picture is my userphoto. That's SICK.



Jarome Iginla is the King of the Western Conference of my HART (see what I did there?)
HE'S WEARING CONVERSE ALL STARS AT THE ALL STAR GAME
I LOVE HIM EVEN MORE NOW


THAT'S IGGY'S MOM!
...and some random dude


I will never stop loving the intern at Sports Illustrated that decided these two looked alike:

Magical.


I made my schedule for school next semester which weirds me out beyond all reason. Back to school? UGH. My days are going to be weird too. I don't wanna be a student again!!!!! Alas, I toil on, back to the days of being totally broke and having homework. At least some of my classes are easy. Like Young Adult Literature. I get to read Lord of the Flies. Woooooo! There's some redonk class abou the history of secondary education and all these other shenanigans about secondary education in a democracy and compared to other countries and blah blah blah. I'm looking forward to getting that one outta the way. Yay!

P.S. If any of you hockey superstars that CLEARLY read this blog are still in need of a date tonight, I'm totes available. I can be in Toronto in an hour and a half. I don't have a dress and it'd probably look like you brought your agent's loser daughter with you, but I'M SUCH A BLAST. We'd have a great time. Too bad they don't serve booze. Then we'd be the talk of the town.

P.P.S. Yay Pommer! I hope you wrote a nice speech!!!!!!!! I want Pommer to win this award more than I've wanted anything this off-season... ok that's not true. I think I'd rather have a job that I can keep once school starts. That'd be nice. Anyone hiring in the Buffalo area?

P.P.S. On NHL.com it says that the Sharks are about to name McLellan as their head coach. When I first read that I thought it said "McLaren" who currently plays for the team. I was bumfuzzled for a moment until I realized that I'm a moron. That'd be like Henrik Tallinder suddenly becoming head coach of the Sabres.

5 comments:

  1. And what's valuable to a team besides wins, Cups, star players and moolah? FANS. And without J-ROME I NEVER WOULD'VE GIVEN A HOOT ABOUT THE CALGARY FLAMES.

    This statement could not be more true! Iggy should win the Hart simply because he made both you and I (and sure many other women) care about Calgary with one flash of his pearly whites. Did Ovie do that? I think not!

    Yay Pommer! I hope you wrote a nice speech!!!!!!!!

    I hope it involves shout-outs to his two best friends - Goose and "The System".

    ReplyDelete
  2. Maybe if Ovie HAD all his pearly whites we'd care. Mike Green is what won me to the Caps, but I do love Ovie.

    I sincerely hope that WHEN Pommers wins he has to wipe away a tear when he thinks of how proud Goosie will be of him... probably won't happen but a girl can dream!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I sincerely hope that WHEN Pommers wins he has to wipe away a tear when he thinks of how proud Goosie will be of him... probably won't happen but a girl can dream!

    Awww...that's such a nice dream! Goosie would be so proud of his nap buddy!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Damn. I wonder what Pommers would've said if he had won!!!???!!! No doubt he would thank Goose.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Evgeni malkin will take it home, for sure. who cares what jarome thinks?

    ReplyDelete

Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


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