Thursday, July 10, 2008

Am I Finally Woman Enough to Admit this?

by Anne

S(h)ara and I were chatting tonight and something finally dawned on me. What's that? A truth I haven't wanted to admit to myself, something that in the deepest corners of my HockeyHeart I know is true, but I just can't say it out loud. Something almost embarrassing and somewhat shameful to admit. So many factors tell me that its wrong, but how can it be wrong when it feels so right... sometimes?! Finally, as we sat in my car after attending a candle party, I begrudgingly said those words that we all must say one day:

"You know, I hate to say it, but if Tim Connolly wasn't injured so much, he'd be my favorite Sabre."

It's like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. A burden has left my heart.

As Rihanna and Ne-Yo say "I Hate That I Love You So", Timothy. It pains me to love you, Timmy, as my heart can't handle it when you're injured. I vividly recall the bone crushing hit that left your sweet bald noggin in a sad state for nearly a year. I was so upset about it and I couldn't bare to watch the copious replays. Then Jay McKee left me and I felt lost at alone.

Then you were gone for like 65 years, to be honest, I lost count and, while I never forgot about you, you became more of a happy distant memory. Like that boy you married in kindergarten and Harold the nerdy kid made you exchange vows over cookies and juice at snack time in the finger painting area. I remembered you fondly but the details were fuzzy. Was his name Timmy or Tommy? Did he have brown eyes or blue? Did he like chocolate chip or peanut butter?

Then you came screeching back into my life for the 2007 playoffs and it was like finding your favorite pair of jeans from high school in the back of your closet but you're scared to put them on, because what if you've gained weight and they look bad and kill your confidence? But, hey! Look! They fit great! Thus was Timmy. But, I wasn't ready to let you back in. It was through no fault of your own, it was just your injuries. :(

Then I was pinning my hopes and dreams on you for this past season... and you did well... when you could play. DAMN FREAKIN BONE SPUR.

I JUST CAN'T HANDLE THE ROLLER COASTER TIMMY! HOW CAN OUR LOVE BLOOM AND GROW LIKE THE SONG IN THE SOUND OF MUSIC IF YOU'RE ALWAYS HURT AND BONING RANDOM HUSSIES?!?

My mocking of you is only a defense mechanism, Timmers. It's only to mask the pain I feel when you're not around. I don't care how many chicks you do or what bizarre sexual fetishes you might have. I don't care, Timmy! I only really care about you when you're on skates, or in the dressing room, that's it! You can enjoy whatever recreational activities appeal to you most, I'm not here to judge, just here to love.

Here's an interesting study.

Here is Timmy's roster photo from 2006 when he was, presumably, heavily medicated and still suffering from post concussion syndrome:


Yikes.

This is Timmy when his noggin had all healed up, roster 2007:



Yay!


No player on the Sabres has given me more *HEADDESK* moments than my beloved Timmy. Why?:


Nathan Paetsch does not seem nearly as concerned as I was


I ganked this from Webshots I think. I can't tell if Timmy wants to punch Camera Dude or is trying to figure out how to get rid of him so he can do Camera Dude's girlfriend



Timmy really likes that hat.

Oh Timmers. Now that I've professed my love, you'll probably be traded. Alack and fie.

I want you to be better and play for us all next year! Or at least most of it, it's a lot to ask for someone to play 82 games. Unless you're Jason Pominville. He's played 82 games for 2 seasons in a row. That's impressive. Oh Timmy.

How ya doin' this summer? Have you been on skates yet? To use a phrase Sidney Crosby used about a BILLION times when he was hurt, have you "touched the puck" yet? Maybe that's a coy euphemism for something dirtier... well, you can do both, I don't care. I'm here to love, people, here to love. I hope that wherever you are in this world, you're healing up and getting ready to fully win my love this season. It's easy to earn my love and easy to lose it. Just ask Drew Stafford. He learned the hard way that my love is not based on physical attraction (one of my favorite Sabres is SPACEK, for god's sake) so no matter how adorable you might be, Jason Pominville, if your skillz start lacking then you'll be demoted, that's just the way things work around this House, people.

Sigh. It's a dead horse that's been beaten, but it really is frustrating as a fan to watch an excellent hockey player be rendered unable to play because of nagging injuries. Ugh. He's so good when he can play and when he can't it's totally annoying. I did actually get to see him play a couple times though. I was there for the Ottawa game when he rifled a shot off of Gerber's helmet and it totally disoriented him. Whoops. We still lost.

Whatev, I have all the confidence that he'll be back with us next season and all will be awesome. Right? RIGHT?! Just tell me I'm right and I'll shut up about it for a little while.

10 comments:

  1. Dude, I feel your pain. Timmy and I have been off again/on again with our love ever since I briefly lived in NY and he was an Islander. Like a siren's song, I am powerless to resist him. He is my enemy, and my muse. OH TIMMY! Why are you so ridiculous you can't help but make us adore you??

    P.S. I FEEL LIKE THIS ABOUT DEREK ROY AS WELL.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, Anne, nooooooooo! I got behind you on the Sid love and even started falling a little myself, but Timmy. Seriously, Timmy. He is always injured and when not seriously injured, he is making it with all the skanks he can locate, whether legal or not.

    Please, please, please, re-think your position on this!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. P.S. I FEEL LIKE THIS ABOUT DEREK ROY AS WELL.

    Ok, so I don't love Roysie this way, but I can appreciate when one inexplicably loves against their will. It's also how I still feel about Danny Briere. It's been more than a year and I still get sad when I see him. Danny Briere and I had a messy messy break up and I feel like we never got closure.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Please, please, please, re-think your position on this!!!

    I know! I know! It's so shameful! It's like admitting you like the douche bag in the back of your math class who's always smart mouthing the teacher. It's so terrible. Don't worry, I'm sure my defense mechanism will kick back in and I'll resume my regular mocking of TimmyTims soon. But for now I'm feeling all happy la la la in the off-season. I'm not as hyper-aware of my hockey feelings as I am between October and June.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I can appreciate when one inexplicably loves against their will.

    This is totally how I feel about Thomas Vanek! I don't want to love him at all - but somehow he suckered me in...I'm still trying to figure out how it happened.

    Oh TimmyHo, last season I felt the same way, Anne. I didn't want to get my hopes up for him, but I did. I think these bone spurs were the last straw, though. Timmy would have to do some serious recycling PSAs and Camp Good Days flour fights to earn my love back.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I don't want to love him at all - but somehow he suckered me in...I'm still trying to figure out how it happened.

    WHAT IS THEIR SECRET VOODOO DANCE THEY DO? I mean, really? Tim Connolly? Her? I can't help it!

    Timmy would have to do some serious recycling PSAs and Camp Good Days flour fights to earn my love back.

    I don't really know how I'd feel if TimmyTims were to suddenly become uber charitable. It's his lack of a heart the size of Lake Erie that appeals to me, I don't feel like he'd always be judging me if I didn't start running my car on bio diesel and building a home for needy cats and dogs in the Buffalo Area. Hence, Goose is way too good for me to properly love him.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hence, Goose is way too good for me to properly love him.

    But it would be fun to give it a try, wouldn't it?!?!?

    ReplyDelete
  8. If Timmy is a Twins fan I think that he might be my favorite Sabre, too. Oh, man.

    ReplyDelete
  9. If Timmy is a Twins fan I think that he might be my favorite Sabre, too. Oh, man.

    I can't decide if he's a Twins fan or if he just wants to wear a hat that his is initials on it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I can't get behind you on the Timmylove at all. I don't feel it, I don't get him. He's too broken for me to care about.

    However, I can understand the inexplicable, random love of a player. I feel that way about Ovie. I can't stand the hype that Sid gets, in fact it's become somewhat of a bad joke between my friends and I about how Sid invented hockey, etc etc, but for some reason, I don't have those feelings for Ovechkin. I like him. He's ridiculous, he's fun, he's goofy, he's Russian (I do have a soft spot for Russians).. he just Is. Yeah. Who knows why it happens?

    And I can feel ya, separately, on loving a guy who is always hurt- my dear sweet oneandonly true hockey love, Pavel Bure missed a coupla seasons and then had to retire way before his time due to injuries. It sucks. :(

    ReplyDelete

Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


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