Wednesday, July 23, 2008

MILEY CYRUS GET OUT OF MY HEAD and Brian Campbell is Peter Pan

by Anne

I heard the song "7 Things" by Miley Cyrus this morning, and now I can't get it out of my head. ITS LIKE A PARASITE SHE'S IMPLANTED IN MY BRAIN.


Anyway, I now present the 7 Things I Hate the Most About the NHL:

1. TV timeouts

2. The draft lottery

3. Pierre McGuire and Mike Millbury commentating together on NBC on Sundays

4. That I don't know what's going to happen if the Stanley Cup gets much bigger, people won't be able to lift it

5. That a Buffalo Sabre has never gotten to lift the Stanley Cup

6. Brian Engblom's hair

7. Rick Jeanneret will one day retire


Now, The 7 Things I Like The Most About the NHL:

1. Kelly Hrudey and his ridiculous interactive multimedia display video board

2. The trade deadline

3. The Buffalo Sabres

4. That "Ole" song that Canadiens fans sing. Everytime I watch a non-Sabres Canadiens game I'm singing it for hours

5. Playoff beards

6. James Duthie

7. Alexander Ovechkin is a total Mama's boy and is totally unapologetic for it


Here's a quote from one Mr. Brian Campbell:

"It's going to be exciting to play with those young guys. I'm sure they'll keep me young."


Keep you young Soupy? You're 28. Unless you've signed up for early admission into the AARP, I don't think by anyone's standards are you considered "not young". Unless you're planning on joining the Junior Olympics, which, yes then you are "old" (Coincidentally, one of my students is appearing in the Junior Olympics). However, as you are young in the grand scheme of the world, the fact that you are "not young" is why the Chicago Blackhawks have brought you on board.

Soupy, I'm pretty sure that the reason Chicago brought you in is not so you can almost quote Amy Poehler from "Mean Girls" when discussing your teammates. I'm guessing the fact that they have so many young players is the reason they brought you in, a veteran. Yes, Soupy, you're a veteran. Jay McKee and Jaro Spacek and Teppo aren't here anymore to be older than you. You're expected to LEAD. You were our freakin' captain for a time. So, I'm sorry Soup, looking for ways to be younger is not the best plan for developing chemistry with your new teammates.

Are there any open mic nights for Tragically Hip cover bands in Chicago...?

12 comments:

  1. Don't worry about Stanley. There are always 5 rings around the bottom of the Cup. Whenever one gets full of names, they remove the one on the top and put it in the hall of fame, then add a new, blank one to the bottom. So it won't ever get bigger than it is.

    And as they say, 35 lbs is nothing when you've won it. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Whenever one gets full of names, they remove the one on the top and put it in the hall of fame, then add a new, blank one to the bottom. So it won't ever get bigger than it is.

    SALVATION! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS ISSUE HAS PERPLEXED ME. I had visions of a 7 foot tall Cup one day. You'd think I would've noticed from that Cup video that it hasn't changed size in like 20 years. Why did I never attempt to look up the answer?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I hate Brian's hair too!!!! Urrgghhh it's like, could you fit it? You have money in the bank.

    I hope Soupy does bring his campaign to end excessive sweating to the upfront. I mean, really, it's important stuff...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you s.a.m. I've wondered what they do when they run out of room for the names. I had no idea.

    I'm sure Brian's team also hopes he works to find a cure for excessive sweating, too! Pew!

    ReplyDelete
  5. The original cup is at the hockey hall of fame. That would be the one some Ottawa Silver Seven players punted over a canal. It made it, in case you were wondering.

    ReplyDelete
  6. You should watch some European soccer if you like the "Ole" song. Soccer fans sing it a lot, like Montreal fans!

    I secretly hate when they sing it at Montreal games, but it always get stuck in my head anyways when I hear it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. yeah y'all should really go to the hockey hall of fame, it is super amazing!

    The original Cup that Lord Stanley, Earl of Preston, presented to be awarded to the best hockey team was just the bowl on top, as S(h)ara mentioned. And it is at the HHOF, along with the old rings of names. The stories about the Stanley Cup and its travels are endless, and it could take years to share them all. It's been left on the side of the road, kicked over a canal, used as a flowerpot (for a year!), held for ransom, etc, etc, etc. It's been eaten out of (I think Marty Broduer and his kids took it to the movies and ate popcorn out of it once), drunk from, danced with, slept with, dropped, hugged.. the list could go on.

    It's really a facinating subject. I actually gave a speech about the Stanley Cup for my college public speaking class. Strangely enough, there was another guy in my class who also gave a speech about Stanley. And they were different.

    But, all the stories in the world can't explain how cool it is to touch the Cup. Go to the HHOF and you can! :)

    Okay, I'm done now. Carry on.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I hope Soupy does bring his campaign to end excessive sweating to the upfront. I mean, really, it's important stuff...

    Screw global poverty and AIDS. Excessive sweating and Restless Leg Syndrome NEED OUR ATTENTION NOW!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm sure Brian's team also hopes he works to find a cure for excessive sweating, too! Pew!

    I've always wondered exactly why he opted to be their spokesperson...

    ReplyDelete
  10. But, all the stories in the world can't explain how cool it is to touch the Cup. Go to the HHOF and you can! :)

    Drew Miller and his buddies drank a slushie out of the top of it. Cam Ward and his wife ate cereal out of it. Ha. Good times, good times.

    The HHOF is like right in our backyard (well, Toronto) and I've never been. I'm going to Toronto in October, so I'll have to ch-ch-ch-check it out.

    ReplyDelete
  11. this would have been a way better post if you, like, had written the things in a song to the tune of the miley song. you just, like, listed them all boring-like.

    ReplyDelete
  12. this would have been a way better post if you, like, had written the things in a song to the tune of the miley song.

    LAME. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and I don't want to flatter Miley Cyrus that much, I'm sure, but thanks for the idea!

    ReplyDelete

Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


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