Wednesday, July 30, 2008

So Tell Me, How Will Soupy Make Us Collectively Hurl This Year?

By S(h)ara

This was one of the closest competitions I've seen in a long time. Anne and I even remarked that things were running neck and neck for quite awhile. But now, we have a clear winner. In reverse order, the results of our weekly poll:

How Will Brian Campbell Make Us Collectively Hurl During the 2008-2009 Season?

5. Winning the Norris Trophy

Only 13% of you chose this option. I like to think it's because no one actually thinks Soupy could conceivably win the Norris. Though I would just like to say now, if he does, all ya'll owe me a smoothie.

4. Breaking up Brangelina

16% of you think Angelina Jolie has the same taste in men as a puckbunny at Soho on a Saturday night at 3am. Ange! You can do way better than Soupy! Oh wait, you knew that because you're currently banging Brad Pitt? My bad. Keep on makin' those babies!

3. Scoring the Lone Goal for His Team in the Winter Classic...Again

Oh irony, thy name is Brian Campbell playing in the ice bowl...again. As Anne said before, the very definition of irony is the one player who publically trashed the Winter Classic last year is the only player who is going to be playing in it this year. 18% of you found this hurl-worthy.

2. Scoring a Goal on Millsey

BLASPHEMY! SACRILEGE! I think if this happens, the city of Buffalo will rise up with their pitchforks and torches. We don't take too kindly to it when someone who used to play for us then went to a new city and trashed us scores on one of our own.

1. Bringing his Campaign to End Excessive Sweating to the National Market

"Somebody bring us a basin! We're going to be sick!" (Courtesy of Roald Dahl) I swear to Jeebus, if I see a hyperhydrosis or veins, veins, veins commercial next year, I will probably throw something at my tv. And what was that thing on his face? A cold sore? NASTINESS! Not to mention, totally unnecessary. Soupy should have taken his own advice--boy looks like he went swimming anytime he does the post game.

1 comment:

  1. Soupy should have taken his own advice--boy looks like he went swimming anytime he does the post game

    FOR REALS - how is it that he persistently looks like he is in midst of a minor heat stroke???? How does someone that pale, that seemingly terrified of the sun's rays, someone who I am not entirely convinced is NOT an albino, manage to DO that????

    I am at a loss.


Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny

Disclaimer, yo.

Almost all of our pictures are borrowed from other sources. If they're yours and you don't want us to use them, just shoot us an email and we'll take them down.

We have nothing to do with the Buffalo Sabres, the National Hockey League or the actual "Sabretooth's House" located in HSBC Arena, we're just borrowing the name. If anyone is offended by anything we've written, get over it, it's a personal blog, not an accredited news source.

anniebeeswax [at] gmail [dot] com