So Tell Me, How Will Soupy Make Us Collectively Hurl This Year?

By S(h)ara

This was one of the closest competitions I've seen in a long time. Anne and I even remarked that things were running neck and neck for quite awhile. But now, we have a clear winner. In reverse order, the results of our weekly poll:

How Will Brian Campbell Make Us Collectively Hurl During the 2008-2009 Season?

5. Winning the Norris Trophy

Only 13% of you chose this option. I like to think it's because no one actually thinks Soupy could conceivably win the Norris. Though I would just like to say now, if he does, all ya'll owe me a smoothie.

4. Breaking up Brangelina

16% of you think Angelina Jolie has the same taste in men as a puckbunny at Soho on a Saturday night at 3am. Ange! You can do way better than Soupy! Oh wait, you knew that because you're currently banging Brad Pitt? My bad. Keep on makin' those babies!

3. Scoring the Lone Goal for His Team in the Winter Classic...Again

Oh irony, thy name is Brian Campbell playing in the ice bowl...again. As Anne said before, the very definition of irony is the one player who publically trashed the Winter Classic last year is the only player who is going to be playing in it this year. 18% of you found this hurl-worthy.

2. Scoring a Goal on Millsey

BLASPHEMY! SACRILEGE! I think if this happens, the city of Buffalo will rise up with their pitchforks and torches. We don't take too kindly to it when someone who used to play for us then went to a new city and trashed us scores on one of our own.

1. Bringing his Campaign to End Excessive Sweating to the National Market

"Somebody bring us a basin! We're going to be sick!" (Courtesy of Roald Dahl) I swear to Jeebus, if I see a hyperhydrosis or veins, veins, veins commercial next year, I will probably throw something at my tv. And what was that thing on his face? A cold sore? NASTINESS! Not to mention, totally unnecessary. Soupy should have taken his own advice--boy looks like he went swimming anytime he does the post game.

And the Winner Is...

by Anne

It started out as a landslide, but tapered off into a neck and neck battle for 2nd and 3rd place.

Jason Pominville is the gentleman most of you would call to be your knight in shining armor to rescue you from the drunken losers with too much gel in their hair and too many buttons undone on their shirts at SoHo on a Saturday night.

Your knight in shining armor

Oh No! Pommer didn't answer his phone! Who do you call?

An even number flipped a coin between Pat Kaleta and Steve Bernier. My #1 choice would be Big Bear, but Kaleta would've been #2.

In a surprise to me, Nathan Paetsch came in 4th with only 1 vote fewer than Patty and Big Bear.

Because all but a couple of you know that Mikey-poo's heart body soul and eyebrows belong exclusively to M.J., he came in 5th.

I'm not sure what our next poll will be but I'll wait for a good one to come to me rather than just toss up a lame one. This one might actually be HOCKEY related. I know, crazy, right?

Moving on:

As I was walking into my building this morning, I got a Sabres text asking me to submit questions to Nathan Gerbe by 7:00 p.m. My first instinct was to ask him "DEAR NATHAN WHY WON'T YOU BE MY FACEBOOK FRIEND?!?!" but decided that probabaly would not make it through the screeners to dear Gerb-Doggy-Dogg's questionnaire. I'm not sure what I'll ask but I'm 3 for 3 on random questions asked of Sabres via blogs and/or Sabres.com. I'm going to try to avoid any questions about size. SIZE DOESN'T MATTER.....UNLESS YOU'RE TYLER MYERS.... THEN I'M ALL ABOUT IT.

So the camp is open to the public from 3-5 everyday (I think) I'm ALL ABOUT heading up to Dwyer on Saturday, Sunday or Monday if there is going to be availability for wacko Buffalo fans.

OH YEAH! Channel 4 told me last night that Senator Clinton has submitted a letter throwing Buffalo's hat into the ring of host cities for the 2011 World Juniors (AKA IIHF World Under 20 Championships) I don' t think we'll get the nod, as there aren't really enough facilities (WE CAN TOTALLY BUILD SOME!!!)but the fact that its a possibilty is REALLY exciting to me, because I LOVE international competition, especially living in Canada's front yard (or is Canada our BACK YARD?!?!) and it's pretty cool that Hillary has offered up her constiuent city for it. Thanks, Hill! We appreciate it! Sorry about the whole "not getting the Democratic Presidential Nomination" thing.

I have my camera again! You all missed out on the EXCITING photos of my HOUR spent at the Genius Bar as they ERASED but ultimately repaired my laptop.

WOO!

And the Winner is..../Weekly Poll

by Anne

So when I set up that last poll, I didn't anticipate the LANDSLIDE victory that it was, hahaha. I try to make it possible for it to be more even. This was not a good example of that, lol.

The question was:

Quick! The babysitter canceled! Which of these players do you call?

Your choices were:

Danny Pie-YAY
Alexander Ovechkin
Marty Biron
Jaroslav Spacek
Jordan Staal

So, tied for 4th were:

Alexander Ovechkin and Jordan Staal

If you don't want your children to do this, don't call either of these boys. I have a sneaking suspicion that all your children would learn from these guys would be the perfect spitball making technique, honed over years of practice.

In 3rd place:

Jaroslav Spacek

I don't exactly understand why more people don't want a cubic Czech man screaming at their children. I voted for him, as did my sister. Come on! Who doesn't want their children to live their lives with the patented Jaro "SHOOT PUCK SCORE GOAL WIN GAME" mentality?

In 2nd place:

Only a few people wanted Danny Paille to bring his ice cream man into your home. I'm sure he would teach LOTS to your kids about Perry's... and... uhhh how to put your shoes on the correct feet? I'm not 100% sure that Pie-YAY has managed to figure that out completely, so while I'm sure he's an excellent role-model for your children, he may not be able to keep track of them if "Bob the Builder" suddenly comes on TV.

The winner by a LANDSLIDE, and perhaps because he seems to have the same attention span of most children, perhaps because he has his own children, the winner:

Marty Biron

I'd want Marty to take care of my children as well, I'm sure. He'd probably talk non-stop about whatever comes into his stream of consciousness brain which is something they could probably relate to. Children are probably the only human beings that possess the verbal fortitude to rival Marty. It would seem that the parents and future parents of America value Marty's sweet nature more than the iron-fist rule of Jaroslav Spacek.


Ok so this week's poll isn't exactly "racy" but it's a little bit more PG-13 than last week.

The question is:

You're drunk and stranded in downtown Buffalo and your friends have deserted you. You only have enough battery to call one of these people. Whom do you trust to not take advantage of you in your drunken state, but secretly hope that they will?

Jason Pominville
Steve Bernier
Pat Kaleta
Mike Ryan
Nathan Paetsch

EDIT: Ok, so, no, Goose isn't on the list. The reason being that I knew everyone would pick him. So for the purposes of this post let's say Goose is off in Europe with Millsey, which he actually is as of this writing. Woo! They're meeting up with Jaro and Kotalik in Prague! HOW CUTE! CAN I BE THERE?!?!

Weekly Poll

by Anne

True to my word, I've opted to keep this week's poll a little more family-friendly.

Therefore, you should choose which of the players listed you'd most likely call in a pinch to watch your children for you for a few hours. If you don't have children... which I don't, just take a guess as to who you'd most entrust with the care of your little bundles of joy. Then, post the reasons why here.

I think I'll alternate racy and tame polls.

Tomorrow night is the Awards show! Today some or another committee meets that Ryan Miller is on. I think this is the goaltender equipment meeting. Ooooooohhhh.... Aaaaahhhhh. How exciting.

And the Winner Is...

by Anne

In a poll most would deem crass and inappropriate, I am pleased to see that we got by far the most votes. WOO!

Here are the poll results for the question: "Which of these people would you be least surprised to see agreeing to pose for Playgirl Magazine?"

By your votes:

#5 Thomas Vanek (0%)

Apparently you all assume that 10 million dollar babydaddy and soon to be newly wed SabreBritney is as pure as the driven snow that fills our Buffalo lawns each winter. Not one single person thought that Britney would show us the money in Playgirl. That's ok, I only put him in there because, let's face it, Britney is not all that interesting or smokin' hot. Maybe it'd be a good way to spice up his career? Um, on second thought, please just stick to scoring goals, Mr. Vanek. You're pretty good at that. And your fiance is a babe, she might not approve. Then you'd have to marry some skank ho. Don't do that.

This is all the skin you'll expect to see from Britney:

I'm not sure how I feel about the shirt and tie combo, but I can get over it

That's fine. I figured SOMEONE would expect it from him, but I guess I thought wrong.

#4 Andrew Peters (8%)

I assume it would got a long way toward bringing Andrew Peters some notoriety in the press if he were to bare it all for the women of the world. He's got lots of downtime, he could be farming out offers to various adult publications. Alas, as is probably the truth, most of us assume he would not do this. Yay Petey!!!

Perhaps what he and Vanek have in common is that whilst they are professional hockey players, they both are humble about what they do. We all see that Britney, in times of HockeyPeril is the first to say what we're all thinking about his performance: that it just isn't good enough. Petey knows his role on the team, and embraces it, involving himself in other projects in the community. Therefore, it doesn't surprise me that so few people decided it wouldn't be odd to see him flashin' the goods in Playgirl.

Petey's so sad you all don't think he'd pose for playgirl over his current and former teammates. He'll try harder this coming season to prove otherwise.

#3 Brian Campbell (22%)

I thought Mr. Campbell would've placed no lower than second in this poll, so giving him the Bronze Medal is quite shocking to the system

We all see that Soupy clearly thinks he is the cat's pajamas but most would expect him to keep on those pajamas.

He freakin' turned down $5 million/season to play here because he assumed he could get more. He might be right, but that takes some serious family jewels to reject a team you supposedly love's offer... family jewels that few of you would expect to see gracing our newsstands.

Perhaps to supplement his income when he has to settle for less...? Wait. Why am I trying to FIND reasons for Soupy to pose au natural? YICK.

These girls would buy a Playgirl with a Soupy centerfold

This girl too.

Honey, you have a lovely smile, you can do better!!!
ACK! LOOK AT THAT HAIR!
*BARFHURL*

#2 Tim Connolly (33%)

I'm surprised Timmy wasn't the runaway favorite in this. I definitely voted for him. I assumed he'd be the undisputed champion of expected smut.

We all know how much TimmyHo must love Timmy Jr. And, let's face it, Timmy Jr. is probably in great shape. He works out a lot. If Timmy Jr. were a person he'd be in better physical shape that Sidney Crosby. Why not get him all gussied up to pose as a naughty cowboy in Playgirl or a fireman or whatever it is men do in Playgirl...maybe I should've looked into that. Meh.

Try to wrap your brain around this:

The bald non-smiling dude in the shiny shirt has gotten 10,000x more booty than Jason Pominville, all-around good guy. Ok, so this picture makes Pommer look rather vacant and scared, but he's wearing roughly the same facial expression I'd have if Tim Connolly were rubbin' up on me too. Tim probably went home and boned both of those girls and their moms...twice.

Ladies! By wrap "your brain around this", I did not really mean "your legs around Tim Connolly". Take note.

Now that I think about it, why would Timmy pose for playgirl? Half of the women in the world have seen his pork and beans and lived to tell the tale. Most of Playgirl's target audience has already had a turn on the Tim-a-Whirl. It's just not good business sense for them to do a 4 page spread on the Timster.

However, apparently a few more of you think it more likely that our final contestant would oil himself up for the pages of playgirl:


#1 Derek Roy (36%)

I cannot stop LOLing at the thought of our Lil' Roysie flexing and sweating in the pages of Playgirl. COULD YOU IMAGINE. I WOULD BUY EVERY COPY AND GIVE THEM AS GIFTS TO ALL MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY.

Derek listens intently as I pitch pictorial concepts at him.
Two words Derek: Naked Skydiving. Think about it. Call me.

Derek: Do YOU think I should pose for Playgirl, RIT reporter girl?

I have some difficulty envisioning a grown man who I frequently talk about in the same voice I use to talk to my cat (He's so LITTLE!!) lying bare-assed on a bear skin rug for the ladies of Buffalo. Not that I wouldn't love every second of it and tell my grandchildren about it at family reunions some day.

Roysie actually looks.... cute here.

Well, there ya have it. You would all be least surprised to see Derek Roy signing on the dotted line for his centerfold spread in Playgirl. WOW. What an eye opening experience this poll and post have been. This upcoming poll shall be more tame, with the occasional spicy topic mixed in. But ya can't be too spicy all the time, cuz then it just gets old. Unless you're Big Bear. Then you can be spicy all the time:

LOVE. HIM.

I just want to hug him, is that so wrong?

Doesn't Barney look like he'd be a great hugger?

And now, I don't mean anything "unseemly" by that.... or DO I?!?!?

He's spicy in San Jose.

Aaaaand in Buffalo.

WHY CAN'T I BE THAT GIRL?

I found this in Webshots, and if M.J. doesn't already have it, she needs to have it:

Aw, Mikey. Come back next season!

WTF Is Wrong With Me?

by Anne

Guys, I'm back at an office job... sort of. I'm helping out at dear old Dad's law office because things is waaaayyy backed up. I'm only working part time. Yesterday I worked from 2 - 5 entering costs and fees and stuff, some as old as 2002. WHAT? Ok, its because they just upgraded their software.... 6 months to a year ago... ehhhhh..... they'll get around to it.

Things are just messy and unkempt, so I'm trying to help out.

However, its about 3649856098x better than my old job. Except for the fact that I don't have my own desk or computer here. Right now I'm in the office of an attorney who didn't come in today. Hmmmm, this'll be interesting when he comes back. I don't think he'll be too keen on having a desk buddy.

Anyway, onto hockey:

So the Dominator is officially hanging it up. Awwwwwwww. He's old. So, clearly Detroit was the town he preferred to play in, but he definitely played his best hockey in Buffalo. Six Vezinas and 2 Harts? That's gotta feel good. He won Vezina's over Brodeur and Roy. That's no joke. However, I can't imagine those stack up against 2 Stanley Cups. Whoops.

Being American, I don't feel I can really weigh in with personal thoughts about the HNiC theme. I can definitely say that it shouldn't move to TSN. That's just dumb. Good luck finding someone who watches hockey who won't INSTANTLY think of Don Cherry and Ron McLean when they hear that little ditty.

That'd be like CBS taking over the NBC ding-ding-ding thing. It's just so intrinsically linked to HNiC that it'll never fly anywhere else. Sorry, TSN, ain't gonna happen. Commission your own tune, James Duthie (LOVE HIM).

I'm bored by reading my own blog post, this is not good.

Maybe I won't update everyday... eh, I probably will anyway.

Almost Awards night! I can't wait to see what adorable little suit Pommers wears. I hope his ladylove looks appropriately pretty, refined and smokin' hot. Nice guys need to prove that they can get the ladies as well.

Tomorrow will be discussing the poll winner. Coming up soon will be an oh-so-scientific and statbitty (tm IPB) analysis for choosing my winners for the various awards to be awarded on awardful Thursday's award show. WOO!

This poll up thar is HOTLY contested. Derek Roy and Tim Connolly are fighting for the top spot. Winner to be announced on Tuesday! Hahaha.

Weekly Poll

by Anne

We're keepin' it classy with this poll, folks, on the sidebar. Enjoy.

And the Winner Is...

by Anne

In our 2nd Weekly poll we asked you to choose your favorite hockey movies from a list of four.
The choices were:

Mighty Ducks (original, 1992)
Miracle (2004)
Mystery, Alaska (1999)
Slap Shot (1977)

And the results?:

#4 Mystery, Alaska (11%)

I only saw part of this movie over this past Easter weekend, and while I can't give it too accurate of a review, I was easily able to tear myself away.

My best guess is that I'm not a huge Russell Crowe fan and the cheese factor at the end of the movie was to the point of it no longer being believable. But, it's still a good story and I'd probably rather watch this movie than, say, Meet Joe Black which, in my opinion is one of the worst movies of all time.

#3 Slap Shot (22%)

This movie, while a classic, is more geared toward our male hockey fan brethren. However, we ladies can obviously appreciate and thoroughly enjoy the story, and we do get to see some mostly naked Michael Ontkean at the end.

Slap Shot gave us a litany of quotes to toss about.

"Jesus, what did the old man trade for these assholes, a used puck bag?"

" [referee skates over to Steve Carlson during the playing of the National Anthem]
Referee:(yelling) I got my eye on the three of you! You pull one thing, you're out of this game! I run a clean game here! I have any trouble here, I'll suspend ya!
Steve Hanson: I'm listening to the fucking song!"

"Hyannisport Broadcaster: Look at that. You can't see that, I'm on radio. "

Talking to an opposing player, mid-game:
Dunlop: Tough news, Barclay. Sorry.
Barclay: What fuckin' news ?
Dunlop: Minnesota dropped you. Yeah, it's in the Hockey News. I'll save it for you.

The beginning of the movie interview with Denis Lemieux is classic, you have to watch it, its not funny unless you hear it actually said.

It gave us The Hanson Brothers:

And the biggest crush I've ever had on a fictional character. Ned Braden, the Johnstown Chiefs' equivalent of Jason Pominville:

He also gave us the now famous strip-tease on the ice. Woohoo! You have to watch it for the fashion show scene and just think about the Catwalk for Charity, hahahahaha.

Tie for 1st between:

The Original Mighty Ducks (33%)

What can you say about the Mighty Ducks? It's your perfect sports movie meets inspirational teacher movie meets overcoming obstacles movie with a drawn from personal experience life lesson, its the kids teaching the teacher, featuring the kid that gets "traded" because they re-drew the town lines but then he gets hurt by his former team and its REDEMPTION time. Then you throw in Goldberg, knucklepucks, the quacking, a pre-Dawson's Creek Joshua Jackson, that creepy kid who looks like he's the devil, all on top of a youth hockey team: AMAZING.

Remember when Gordon Bombay starts quacking at his boss?

EDIT: Knucklepucks do not appear until D2, I watched D1 today and learned of my error. Also, the above picture is probably also from D2, but WHATEV.

and Miracle (33%)

Why do people love it?

It's a (mostly) true story about much more than hockey. It was in Lake Placid, NY. It was the United States v. Communist Russia in a semi-final game, it wasn't even for a medal. The USA went on to defeat Finland for gold. The Soviets had royally ABUSED the United States by winning an exhibition game 10-3 not long before this game took place. It's good over evil, it's David v. Goliath. Its the underdog winning. It's a bunch of amateur hockey players who had no business beating the strongest hockey team in the world. If you're American, or at least not Russian, it makes you feel warm and fuzzy all over.

Mike Ramsey, a player the Sabres drafted 11th overall in 1979, played in this game. He was the youngest player on Team USA. He played with the Sabres for 14 years and was team captain from 1990-1992.

This game was named as the most significant in the IIHF's 100 year history, 1908-2008.

Here's the pregame speech from the film:

Interesting fact, Penguins Dman Brooks Orpik is named after Herb Brooks.

Here's Al Michael's call of the last 16 seconds:

Here's a guy named Curt Chaplin who recorded his notes for a report like a play by play standing on a camera platform, it's long but worth the watch:

There we go. Stay tuned for our next weekly poll which I have no idea what its going to be...

And the winner is....

by Anne

In our first Weekly Poll, we asked you which of the Staal brothers was your fave.

The choices (duh) were Eric, Marc, Jordan and Jared.

The boys ranked as follows:

#4 Jared (5%)

I'm not surprised Jared came in 4th out of 4. Why? Because we know almost nothing about him because he's only 17 and not yet in the NHL. Give it time, I'm sure someday he'll be more than 1 persons favorite Staal.

Doesn't he look like Phaneuf in this picture?:

Marc (L) Jared (R)

#3 Eric (11%)

Since this IS a Sabres blog and Eric and his 'Canes gave us our playoff walking papers in the 2006 ECF, I'm not surprised he is not overly beloved by Sabres fans the blogosphere over. I'm actually surprised he got more than 1 vote.

The Staal Brothers <3 pinstripes... because they need to look taller...?

#2 Marc (27%)

My personal favorite underrated Staal. He's pretty sweet. He was the OHL's defenseman of the year last season. Wooo! Ok, I know its tough to love him because he plays for the gross-tastic Rangers. However, he didn't CHOOSE to be a Ranger, they DRAFTED him. I, of course, understand Eric was drafted by the 'Canes, but WHATEVS. Marc is described as the family goofball, and I love me a goofball. I also actually kind of feel bad that his younger brother started in the NHL before he did. But he's still more awesome. Marc's "Girlfriend" page has like absolutely nothing but pictures of him and Jared. He might have a girlfriend named Danielle from Sudbury (or Sudberry as they spelled it), or Casey from Quebec or I don't care from I still love him anyway. The best part is really the people who post things like "WHAT VOODOO MAGIC DO YOU HAVE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO KNOW THIS INFORMATION?!?!" He's also a rockstar.

See?:

#1...by process of elimination Jordan (55%)

Jordan is quite popular amongst Sabres fans, apparently. I would assume most Sabres fans don't really find the Penguins terribly offensive and Jordan has the distinction of being really young and pretty hot. He is my 2nd favorite Penguin...maybe 3rd. Well done, Jordan. You are well-tolerated by the readers of this blog. Maybe its because he's the biggest Staal bro. They're all the same height but Gronk is 15 pounds heavier than each of his NHL playing brothers. Well done? I really would love it if Jordan could find his scoring touch again next season and have more goals than his big bro. He's def going to have more goals than Marc...ok, if he doesn't though, either Marc is playing out of his mind or Jordan has lost his.

Jordan on a lake lookin' super chill

I'd love to know the reasons why people chose the Staal brother they chose, so post 'em.


OMGAH, I'm pretty sure I keeled over and died when I found this picture. Thank God I came back to life in time to finish this post:

Eric Staal: Supreme Smiley Living Room Overlord
Jordan looks like an albino elf and Eric seems to be attempting to crush his head
Marc is his usual chill self
Jared is SO over this picture

Be sure to take this week's poll:

Favorite movie in which the main focus was a hockey team; aka, not Happy Gilmore.