Friday, August 8, 2008

Our 2nd Round Draft Pick is better than YOUR 2nd Round Draft Pick

by Anne

For loving Mr. Popper's Penguins, for wanting to be a fan favorite and agreeing to be interviewed by the boys at The Goose's Roost and for being compared possibly the most ADORABLE hockey player of all time in his draft ranking on TSN (why in GOD'S name was I looking at draft rankings yesterday... I just don't remember, especially because the draft was almost 2 months ago...) CHECK IT OUT. He's #34 under Tyler Ennis, actually. Look for the comparison under his picture.... I'll wait.....

dooot doooot doo, I'll look at this picture of him I found on Facebook while specifically looking for a funny picture of him for just this purpose until you get back from reading the draft analysis:


Ha. Nice hair.

Oh, back already? So you saw that they compared him to BIG BEAR!?!!!!!! I ALREADY HAD HIM IN A NECK AND NECK TIE WITH TYLER MYERS FOR FAVORITE 2008 DRAFT CLASS PROSPECT BUT NOW HE HAS BECOME THE CLEAR WINNER!

Oh yeah and he's awesome because we're Facebook friends which means we're like BFFL at least, right? Right. Although Tyler Myers and I are Facebook friends tooo. WHATEV. LUKE ADAM RAWKS.

Here's the next 25:

50. I hate being outside when its raining. These people who like taking walks in the rain must be freaks and wackos because I absolutely hate being outside and getting cold and wet and sloshing around through puddles

49. When I was younger (like high school) I thought people who loved sushi were just doing it because it was trendy. I didn't try sushi until I was in college and now California rolls and Crunchy Shrimp rolls are in my top all-time favorite foods

48. My Grandma really was the best cook ever. I know most people think their Grandma was the best but you never had dinner at Dea's house with the fresh garden peas from the family farm in Georgia and her chocolate chip cookies and all that deliciousness

47. I love to cook and I like to cook for others, basically so they'll eat it and it won't go to waste. WHO WANTS TO COME OVER FOR DINNER?!

46. Even though I'll basically have 2 bachelor's degrees and a masters degree by the time all is said and done, in my perfect world I'd be a stay at home wife and mommy venturing out to direct plays for high school students and such. What a great life that would be

45. Whenever someone pulls out the "Would you rather be blind or deaf" card I pick deaf every time. The thought of going blind freaks me out to no end

44. I hate canned chocolate frosting. It's completely disgusting to me. I like homemade chocolate frosting (especially when my friend Jenn makes it) and chocolate cake and chocolate in basically all other forms, but a can of Betty Crocker chocolate frosting makes me gag

43. At this point I have so many girlfriends to put in a hypothetical wedding party that I might just say "forget it all", slap a maid of honor dress on my sister and call it a day. Also, no one can complain about their dress either... well, she can, but that's because I'm finding the ugliest dress in creation to put on her

42. I almost moved to Detroit for grad school like a year ago. There's a bullet I'm glad I dodged

41. I spent most of my college career being the therapist for my department, so now when friends try to reveal their most personal thoughts and fears when they have not been solicited by me or are not necessary to the conversation, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable

40. My parents instilled in me a little too well not to answer the door when they weren't home. To this day, when I'm home alone during the day, I tend to hide in my room if someone comes to the door and I'm not expecting anyone

39.When I'm riding the bus and a young guy gives up his seat for a person who needs it more without being asked, or offers a seat to a lady or any able bodied person before sitting down himself, it makes me smile a lot because there are still considerate people in this world

38. I absolutely HATE when I'm out at a restaurant with someone and the service is slow or the waiter is rude and they allow it to affect our conversation and drag down the mood

37. I also hate people who don't tip well

36. I have never been a waitress

35. I hate faxing letters. Every time my old boss asked me to fax something for him my blood pressure started to creep up, especially if it was a new fax number. It never works. Unless its a major corporation, I'm convinced its not going to work the first time

34. Both my parents are on Facebook and its AWESOME. JIM JUST WROTE ON MY WALL

33. I used to have a myspace, but one time I clicked on the profile of someone who wanted to be my friend and my PC shut down. It might've been a freaky coincidence, but I deleted my account anyway. I re-joined a few months ago but never look at it

32. I had a LiveJournal that I wrote in EVERYDAY when I was a freshman in college and it was totally dramatic and I was miserable about my life. Now I ramble about hockey and tomfoolery in here

31. I love playing boardgames. LOVE. THEM. Always will say yes to playing them. Especially Catch Phrase and any games involving words

30. Last night I had dinner with some college friends and we exchanged bad date stories. It makes me want to go on CraigsList and find a wacko to go on a date with just for the story it would provide me. S(h)ara has a great first date story that isn't appropriate for retelling on here, but just know that it involves an abandoned Wegman's parking lot

29. I hope to meet Jason Pominville one day so then I can meet a straight man named Jason who isn't a douche or a weirdo

28. I have a freakish ability to make any child fall asleep while I'm holding them

27. I took Spanish for 8 years and still cannot speak it fluently. This frustrates me greatly

26. My dad wanted to go into acting but his parents said NO so he became a lawyer (and recently started acting again) My mom wanted to major in vocal music in college but her parents said NO (and still sings with choirs and some gigs around town). Interestingly enough, my sister has a degree in music education and her instrument is voice and I have a degree in theatre. I'm sure my sister and I will breed nothing but lawyers and speech pathologists, and thus the cycle shall continue

Wow. I have to think of 25 MORE? This will never end. But at the same time its kind of fun. To recap the things not touched upon:
  1. Still no Pommer
  2. Bucky Gleason hates Teppo and is therefore my sworn enemy
  3. Mats had better make a decision before training camps start in like a month
  4. I hope y'all enjoy whatever Olympic sport you choose to watch and become emotionally invested in
  5. DREW STAFFORD IS TRYING REALLY REALLY HARD TO WIN BACK MY LOVE BY DOING CUTE NON-HOCKEY THINGS TO GET HIMSELF ONTO THE TOP STORIES ON SABRES.COM. Duly noted, Drew. This will go towards your ranking in my selection process for most adored Sabre #5. Your efforts are to be commended. I know it was a stinging blow to be so unceremoniously YANKED from your top seed in my heart, but I can see that you're intent on rebuilding our fractured relationship. Well done Staffers, well done.
  6. Bye Mike Ryan! Have fun in Minsk and play well!

3 comments:

  1. YES TO LUKE and his hair! Yes to CraigsList!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Excuse me, it was an abandoned Wegmans and Burlington Coat Factory parking lot. Jeeze.

    Oh D-Whips, one year later and you still entertain us.

    PS Guys named Jason are douches. Especially ones that don't call for 5 days because they were too hungover to remember to call you...not that I'm talking from personal experience or anything.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have a livejournal- http://slysom.livejournal.com that I've had since senior year of college (2003) and I don't post in it every day but I still write there quite often. It's all about hockey, spazzing, boys, my fam and my boring life. BUt I moved my hockey rambles (mostly) to my hockey blog cuz I think my non-hockey friends were tired of hearing it.

    but I digress- this is about you- why aren't WE facebook friends yet?

    ReplyDelete

Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


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