Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Ok I'm Behind on Things

by Anne


So the other day I decided I need to find players to love in the Western Conference in order to help me give more of a hoot about things that happen on that side of the continent (and a little bit over here, DANG the Western Conference spreads far and wide).

THEREFORE. I need your HELP!!!

Soph at Slightly Saucy has already offered to help and I am extremely appreciative of her offer to aid my plight, and I hope she will come through. But the burden should not be hers entirely!!

Therefore, I'm asking y'all to offer suggestions and from them I will choose my Western Conference Playas.

Sooooo basically I need a squee worthy player à la Craig Rivet, Jochen Hecht or Danny Paille. The unsung hero "Don't mess with my teammates, bro. Excuse me while I score this goal and then give an adorable interview praising my teammtes and knitting hats for children with cancer." type from each team. There must be AT LEAST one.

Anaheim Ducks: ???? there are so many "Ugh, no" people on this team. Remember when I loved Ryan Getzlaf? What was I thinking? I lost the "Woooo look at us over in California all 'Grrr' and piss and vinegar and beating the Ottawa Senators." vibe when they named Chris "Stompy" Pronger their captain. And Nieds and Teemu were gone. Now they're 0-3. This one's going to be tough.

Calgary Flames: Jarome Iginla


any questions?


Chicago Blackhawks: Anyone but Brian Campbell or Patrick Kane. Patrick Sharp was in the Pop Culture Grid in Sports Illustrated this week, is he a viable option? Douche bag? Dream boat?
Colorado Avalanche: ???? Ummmmm who the hell plays for the Avs anymore? Joe Sakic is one foot in the hockey grave and that's about all I can think of.
Columbus Blue Jackets: Rick Nash


Ah, Rick, ILU


Dallas Stars: STU BARNES RETIRED AND WHERE DOES THAT LEAVE ME?!?!
Detroit Red Wings: Ummmmmm Steve Yzerman?
Edmonton Oilers: Does Matt Greene still play for them? Adam Burish told me he was funny. I'd like proof.
LA Kings: ETA: Apparently Matt Greene plays for LA now. NO ONE CALLED ME. And GAH their website is annoyingly purple.
Minnesota Wild: Is it wrong to love Owen Nolan? Get back to me on this.
Nashville Predators: ????
Phoenix Coyotes: ????
San Jose Sharks: ????
St. Louis Blues: JAY MCKEE. MY ONE TRUE LOVE (errrr, ok maybe I'm getting a bit carried away...)


Weeeee!!!!

Vancouver Canucks: Ehhhhhhh...... there isn't really anyone to love... I mean, meh. they're kind of a BLAH team.....


BIG BEAR!!!!!!!!
Why yes, I did steal this picture from your blog, Jess and Soph

Ok, so ANY SUGGESTIONS WOULD BE HELPFUL. Stating your case and providing copious photographic evidence and adorable snapshots and candid interviews would be appreciated!!!

ACK! RANGERS TONIGHT!!

20 comments:

  1. The unsung hero "Don't mess with my teammates, bro. Excuse me while I score this goal and then give an adorable interview praising my teammtes and knitting hats for children with cancer." type from each team.

    First, let me try to recover from hysterical laughter.

    Why yes, I did steal this picture from your blog, Jess and Soph

    Obviously, because I once was in said picture! :) But it's cool, Big Bear was looking so foxy that day that I was like, "Get outta the way, ten year old boys, I'm taking a picture with the man!" (And I hate taking pictures with players, FYI.)

    I'm sure Soph will help you, no worries, but for the Sharks, may I suggest Marc-Edouard Vlasic? I think you may already enjoy him (and may have compared him to Pommer, looks-wise?), but his nickname is Pickles, Rivet loved to bust on him in Shark Byte, and he has three points in four games so far this season. He might not be exactly what you're looking for, but he's enjoyable.

    END NOVELLA.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Preds: J.P. Dumont.

    Canucks: Luongo is god.

    Blue Jackets: What about Peca?

    Stars: I hate most of them, but Turco is pretty cool.

    Let me think about it, I'll get back to you...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm sure Soph will help you, no worries, but for the Sharks, may I suggest Marc-Edouard Vlasic? I think you may already enjoy him (and may have compared him to Pommer, looks-wise?), but his nickname is Pickles, Rivet loved to bust on him in Shark Byte, and he has three points in four games so far this season. He might not be exactly what you're looking for, but he's enjoyable.

    I have taken note, mostly because he looks like he could be Jason Pominville's little brother and I love that totally awesome Canadiens robe picture posted on your blog. And he has 2 first names and didn't understand his nickname so someone had to explain it to him. I THINK HE WINS BUT I MUST KEEP OPTIONS OPEN.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Blue Jackets: What about Peca?

    Peca Peca Peca. I think as a defense mechanism when he left, I shut him out of my heart, kind of like Danny Briere, except I'm like 7 years wiser now and I can forgive Danny Briere, but the Peca scars are still there.

    although this picture is really funny.

    Let me think about it, I'll get back to you...

    Thanks!!! You guys ROCK.

    ReplyDelete
  5. JM Liles on the Avs. He's also like Crunchy's BFF.

    No, it is not wrong to love Owen Nolan...I too love him.

    Calgary also has Criag Conroy who's from Potsdam. (Good Local boy)

    Edmonton has Eric Cole who's from Oswego (Caveman local boy)

    Chicago - Pat Sharp 100%.

    St.Louis also has Danny Hinote. (The Tim Connolly of St Louis/Denver)

    That's all I can think of right now.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm sorry, but is there actually a debate as to who should be your San Jose Playa? Joe Thornton. Admittedly, his yearbook photo is less than perfection, but find a picture of him in a suit (particularly at the All-Star game 2 years ago; that's when my love affair started) and you'll swoon too.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Psssh. Are you calling my team BLAH? Not this year :P

    You've already got Big Bear who is totes adorable. Matty Ohlund is a perfect human being, but kind of quiet.

    Darcy Hordichuk beats people up, is a hilarious interview and has his own website (with fight highlights)

    Alex Burrows is like the nicest guy alive, he was never drafted, gives adorable French Canadian accented interviews, pretty, funny. Makes guys on the other team lose their minds with all his trash talk.

    Kevin Bieksa has this amazing pissed off face, will beat guys up and then bang their girlfriends on the way to the box. Also a good interview.

    There's a start :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Is Millsies Brother still playing with the Ducks?

    ReplyDelete
  9. JM Liles on the Avs. He's also like Crunchy's BFF.

    TRUE DAT. He's the only one I could think of so at the moment he's my winner by default

    No, it is not wrong to love Owen Nolan...I too love him.

    SWEET. I a little bit fell in love with him during the playoffs and I'm kind of glad he's changed teams so I can spread the love between him and Iggy.

    Chicago - Pat Sharp 100%.

    EXCELLENT

    Thanks for the tips!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm sorry, but is there actually a debate as to who should be your San Jose Playa? Joe Thornton. Admittedly, his yearbook photo is less than perfection, but find a picture of him in a suit (particularly at the All-Star game 2 years ago; that's when my love affair started) and you'll swoon too.

    Ok, I know Thorns is pretty BA but S(h)ara laid such a claim on him last season that I feel like I'd be a copycat if I loved him. But YUMMY Joe at the All-Star Game, he can be my heir apparent to Pickles (for the moment)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Psssh. Are you calling my team BLAH? Not this year :P

    HA, you know I was JK-ing. There is lots to squeal about in Vancouver.

    Is there room for more than 1 Cancuck boyfriend? You make EXCELLENT cases for Bieksa and Burrows. I'd totally be copying if I loved Matty. Besides, other boys need love!!! I better pick this one before Friday!!

    Well my #2 we ALL know Big Bear is my #1 Cancuk.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Is Millsies Brother still playing with the Ducks?

    Yes and No. he's in their system but he's playing in Iowa... does that count? I mean, I feel like I should love a fulltime NHLer, right? Although Drew is pretty BA.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I think you can most definitely have more than 1 Canucks (2nd fave)boyfriend. I know your heart belongs to Big Bear. Burr and Bieksa are definitely good choices. Ryan Kesler is also a totally hot 2 way gritty forward if you're into that sort of thing. He's maybe a little shyer with the media than Bieksa and Burr.

    I should totally steal your idea and find Eastern conference boyfriends. Right now I'm totally into Vinny Lecav and Markus Naslund, but that's about all I know. Any tips for a Sabres boyfriend?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anne, you must check out our youngest rookie, James Neal. The Sign Girls have posted an adorable picture of him after he scored his first NHL goal in his first NHL game. He shows all the signs of being awesome. Does a great interview as well.

    http://thesigngirls.wordpress.com/2008/10/11/simply-awesome/

    Of course my favorite is Steve Ott. First rate agitator but can score too. Does a fabulous interview and is an all round nice guy off the ice. And he is really cute too.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I should totally steal your idea and find Eastern conference boyfriends. Right now I'm totally into Vinny Lecav and Markus Naslund, but that's about all I know. Any tips for a Sabres boyfriend?

    OH I HAVE TIPS.

    Well, I'm not toooo sure about your taste in players, but I get the impression you would NOT be a Derek Roy fan. Paul Gaustad is pretty darn loveable. Works hard, excellent on face-offs, incredibly nice, fights well, wicked smokin' hot, and is constantly exceeding expectations. He also does lots and lots of charity work. Did I mention he's totally foxy?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anne, you must check out our youngest rookie, James Neal. The Sign Girls have posted an adorable picture of him after he scored his first NHL goal in his first NHL game. He shows all the signs of being awesome. Does a great interview as well.

    Hahahaha that picture is adorable. He's a little young to qualify but GIVE IT TIME.

    Of course my favorite is Steve Ott. First rate agitator but can score too. Does a fabulous interview and is an all round nice guy off the ice. And he is really cute too.

    Hmmmmmmm, Steve Ott is a serious candidate here.... thanks for the tip off. His name was rattling around my brain but I needed some confirmation. I shall investigate!!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Patrick Sharp is foxy. And he scores lots of shorthanded goals.

    What about Lilja from Detroit. Mmm Hmm.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Patrick Sharp is foxy. And he scores lots of shorthanded goals.

    What about Lilja from Detroit. Mmm Hmm.


    Patrick Sharp seems all around pretty awesome. I took note of him in passing in those TV promos the 'Hawks did last season and I was like "Well hello there, sir." but then the Sabres kind of imploded and that needed my attention.

    Lilja, hmmmmm I haven't looked into him, i was leaning towards Brett Lebda because I once (how can i word this without sounding dirty) got to hold his hockey stick because he threw it over the glass during warm-ups when it broke and some Red Wings fan got it and we were chatting after the game.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anne, I don't want you to think that I've forgotten about this! I am compiling a great photobucket album of Sharks that I find worthy of loving. But Photobucket is being like a little bitch... But I will give you such amazing and bizarre photos. It will blow your mind.

    I can just say that we will no longer be able to collectively be Bear's girlfriend (Anne-Sophie) if you decided to pick Torrey Mitchell as your fav Shark. The one time I met him, he showed so much disdain at my misfunctioning marker and he should have got two minutes in the box for elbowing my chest area when he was signing for me. I do NOT like him at ALL. Jerk... Totally not worthy to be bummin' rides from Steve...

    ReplyDelete

  20. I can just say that we will no longer be able to collectively be Bear's girlfriend (Anne-Sophie) if you decided to pick Torrey Mitchell as your fav Shark. The one time I met him, he showed so much disdain at my misfunctioning marker and he should have got two minutes in the box for elbowing my chest area when he was signing for me. I do NOT like him at ALL. Jerk... Totally not worthy to be bummin' rides from Steve...


    I HAD NO IDEA. SOPH YOU HAVE SAVED ME. OK. I'LL JUST ENJOY HIS BLOG AND NOT LOVE HIM. I DON'T WANT ANYONE WHO IS A JERK AT ALL!!!!

    Phew. that was CLOSE.

    ReplyDelete

Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


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