Silver Lining, Ahoy!

by Anne

Ok, true to form, I will find the positives about tonight's game against the Penguins.

From the Pens' side of things:
(I don't ever think of an injury as being a good thing, they're just not a bad thing for the Sabres)

1. Marian Hossa is not playing tonight, hopes to return Sunday

2. Petr Sykora is out of the line up with a back injury, Maxime Talbot aggravated an ankle injury in their last game.

3. A recent deodorant shortage has left quite the funky odor around the City of Pittsburgh. The Sabres have taken precautions against this odoriferous outrage and are prepared. This unwelcome stink, however, should negatively impact the Penguins' on-ice performance tonight.

4. UPDATE: Sid the Kid is not playing tonight. Article.

From the Sabres' side of things:

1. Hank the Tank will be back tonight...is he really ready to play? Who cares.

2. Doof* and Sekera were the top pair in Rochester all season, steadily improving with each game they played together, they'll probably be back in tandem tonight.

3. Paetsch is young and foolish and thinks he can overcome whiplash to play tonight. Why is this a positive? Because Patches knows he's infinitely better on defense than Pommerdoodle and the team needs him.

4. Doof is from Pittsburgh, or, rather "Cranberry, PA" which is roughly the same distance from Pittsburgh as Angola is from Buffalo (woo, Patty) and clearly has some secretive plans to help the team psych out the opposition. He hasn't lived there since he was 15? Eh, I'm sure he and Staffy can come up with a wacky series of events to lock Sidney Crosby out of Mellon Arena and get Geno stuck in the drive-thru line at MickeyD's for 3 days.

5. Even though it hasn't helped all season, the Sabres have way more AnneLove than the Penguins ever could dream of having.

6. Spacek is healthy enough to leave his house and purchase over-priced (but undeniably tasty) panini at Panera.

A left leg award is to be given out.

I would give my left leg to take Jaroslav Spacek's food order. If for no other reason than to hear him try to say the word "panini".

I should make it clear that even if he comes through and blocks 87 shots tonight, there is no way Mike Weber is cracking the list of memorable call-ups. Sorry, Doof, I'm just not feeling as vulnerable these days.

*After reviewing his interview yesterday, Mike "Doof" Weber is actually an attractive young gent in a "I think you might try to kill me, but that's kind of hot." way. He, like many before him, appears to suffer from "Roster Photo Panic." More commonly known as "RPP." A disease in which, once seated in front of the camera, you instantly regret every photo that's ever been taken of you. That, coupled with the pressure of the fact that this will be the most widely viewed and reproduced photo of you for the next year, overcomes you and instead of making any facial expression, you simply stare, blind panic at full-tilt, at the camera, hoping some semblance of a smile is on your face, but ultimately fail (see: Stafford, Drew). Although, some still manage to take a humorous photo (see: Pominville, Jason and Campbell, Brian).

My Left Leg

By Anne

Over the years, I have often declared I would give my left leg for something...at this rate, I'm about 27 left legs in the hole, but I still give out IOUs. The latest "Left Leg" goes to the Sabre who can sneak their cell phone in to film Captain Jaroslav "Sissy" Spacek's pre-game pep-talk. I imagine it involves several minutes of incoherent rumbling accompanied by pointed, strong hand gestures, all culminating in a team-wide rousing "YAHHH!" and Sissy hitting his stick into the wall as we've witnessed him do after scoring a goal. I imagine should Assistant Captain Pommerdoodle ascend to the captaincy, his pre-game peptalk would probably end in group hugs and trust falls.

I just love Sissy. In his post-game interview, when asked what happened on the Stuart goal, Sissy just laid it out on the table, basically saying: "I was tired, he was too far away, I tried, I was flat-footed and I didn't try hard enough to stop him". He is the anti-follow up question man. He lays it all out, you can't try to get him to say something depressing or negative because he's so straightforward. Sissy doesn't know enough English to mince words. (I keed I keed, he speaks English quite well...better than some I could mention ::cough:: Afinogenov ::cough::.

Sabres, I still love you, I always will, but I think we might need to see other people for a while. Nothing permanent, no, hey, don't be like that, we're not breaking up. I'll still watch you play, but I think it might be best for both of us if we have some time apart. Ok? Look, call me tomorrow, ok? Good. Sleep tight in New Jersey, you have what's sure to be an abysmally painful practice tomorrow. Just know that we in Buffalo will still be here when you get back. And hey, should the rest of your road trip be...ummmm...less than stellar, I'll have Slapshot and a tube of cookie dough waiting for you when you get back. Ok, hug it out.