Monday, January 7, 2008

My Left Leg

By Anne

Over the years, I have often declared I would give my left leg for something...at this rate, I'm about 27 left legs in the hole, but I still give out IOUs. The latest "Left Leg" goes to the Sabre who can sneak their cell phone in to film Captain Jaroslav "Sissy" Spacek's pre-game pep-talk. I imagine it involves several minutes of incoherent rumbling accompanied by pointed, strong hand gestures, all culminating in a team-wide rousing "YAHHH!" and Sissy hitting his stick into the wall as we've witnessed him do after scoring a goal. I imagine should Assistant Captain Pommerdoodle ascend to the captaincy, his pre-game peptalk would probably end in group hugs and trust falls.

I just love Sissy. In his post-game interview, when asked what happened on the Stuart goal, Sissy just laid it out on the table, basically saying: "I was tired, he was too far away, I tried, I was flat-footed and I didn't try hard enough to stop him". He is the anti-follow up question man. He lays it all out, you can't try to get him to say something depressing or negative because he's so straightforward. Sissy doesn't know enough English to mince words. (I keed I keed, he speaks English quite well...better than some I could mention ::cough:: Afinogenov ::cough::.

Sabres, I still love you, I always will, but I think we might need to see other people for a while. Nothing permanent, no, hey, don't be like that, we're not breaking up. I'll still watch you play, but I think it might be best for both of us if we have some time apart. Ok? Look, call me tomorrow, ok? Good. Sleep tight in New Jersey, you have what's sure to be an abysmally painful practice tomorrow. Just know that we in Buffalo will still be here when you get back. And hey, should the rest of your road trip be...ummmm...less than stellar, I'll have Slapshot and a tube of cookie dough waiting for you when you get back. Ok, hug it out.

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Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny


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