Saturday, February 2, 2008

Pain in my soul a/k/a my leg, back, ankle, head, groin, bone spur

by Anne

This entry's title brought to you by the confirmed and potential injuries facing some of our dear Buffalo Sabres.

I wasn't zen last night. That's why they lost. I couldn't concentrate my chi on the team so they could win. Oh yeah, and LYDMAN flipped the puck over the glass putting us on the short end of a 6 on 3 with about 20 seconds left when we were only up by 1, that didn't help. And those a-hole Thrashers hurt Millsey and Mairsy and Roysie and Sissy and they tried to take out Kotalik. There's something to be said for getting revenge for a loss, but that revenge should be on the scoreboard, not injuring another teams top players, that's bullshit.

I. Hate. Shootouts. We started last month with a shootout and I guess we just missed them so much that we wanted to have another go. With T-Bo in net. Excellent. In T-Bo's defense he did have some good saves, but nothing to write home about.

I've never really cared about the Thrashers other than they have Kovalchuk who's kind of a punk and Hossa who falls into the same category. But after that shizz last night, they fall into my list of most disliked teams in the Eastern Conference:

1. Ottawa Senators
2. Toronto Maple Leafs
3. New York Rangers
4. Philadelphia Flyers
5. Atlanta Thrashers

They bumped Carolina from the list, whom I don't particularly care about anymore (I've gotten over the '06 playoffs).

The kicker is that the 2nd period was some great hockey from the Sabres, the 3rd as well....for the most part. There were tons of blocked shots, Hank the Tank, Roysie and Pratters all took some pucks for the team, I'm sure there were others too. At least the boys know they have to change their game when its T-Bo in net and not Millsey.

Does Tobias Enstrom look like a midget hockey player who put on the wrong jersey and showed up to the Thrashers by accident one day to anyone else?

Good job Goose in stating your case for why your goal should've counted. You showed more passion about that than some players have shown about anything all season. Good thing Sissy was the one to talk to the refs about it, or you might've been ejected. Good boy, Goosie, you fight for your rights. Not enough to earn you a BAMF, but excellent effort.

Ok, I need every Sabres fan to sit down. All seated? Not you in Kenmore? Ok. All set? Good, I have to tell you something you might not believe, no, no one was traded. No, no one appears to be out for the season. It's much more surprising.

This man:

I'll pay you $1 million if Kalinin didn't immediately wipe out after this picture was taken

actually scored a goal. I know, right? You can't believe it either.

Oh and BY THE WAY, LINDY, Where my captain at? Who will lead this team bravely through February's cold and treacherous days and nights? Who will we turn to to argue goals and penalties in these wintery days? Who will be his assistants? His right and left hand men? I must know now! Who do we turn to for interviews?!

The Catwalk for Charity is tonight. Probably would've been nice to go into it with a win, but whatevs. I'm actually kind of glad I'm not going, after last night's game. Watching Millsey limp around tonight isn't exactly a memory I'd want to cherish. Although I'd like to cherish the memory of meeting a certain #21 and his B-A Guitar Hero skills.

Private note to Ryan Miller's legs:

Dear Millsey's legs,

Hey, it's Anne. I know we've never met and you've never actually heard of me before, but I just wanted to pass on some words of encouragement.

You, Lefty, are very important to the City of Buffalo. See?:

Good work, Lefty!

Righty, I haven't forgotten about you! Look at how important you are too!:

And Righty makes the save!

Excellent work over the years, boys! Where would the Sabres be without you?

Oh, right, here's where:

Lefty fell asleep on the job
Or, possibly even here:

T-Bo, the puck is over- No! T-BO IT'S OVER- ugh, never mind

So, legs, please, don't be hurt badly. Please? We in Buffalo really need you to be healthy. Groin - the same goes for you!


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Glossary... Sort of

  • "Ryan Miller" Shutout - A 58 minute multi-goal shutout lead that is blown by Miller allowing one meaningless goal
  • Britney or SabreBritney - Thomas Vanek
  • Butter Snaps - Carolina Hurricanes
  • Craigory - Craig Rivet
  • Full Monty - Steve Montador
  • Greener - MATT Greene (LAK)
  • JBG - Jolly Blonde Giant - Tyler Myers
  • Little Foot - Drew Stafford
  • MK - Anne's sister; often leaves nonsensical comments under her Twitter name Mmmkizzle
  • Noodles - Derek Whitmore
  • Oscar - Anne's cat and STH's unofficial mascot
  • Parsley - Jimmy Bonneau
  • Sir Christopher - Chris Butler
  • Sissy - Jaroslav Spacek
  • Telly Monster - Mikael Tellqvist

Because It's Never not Funny

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